Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Ghal Tarpfen

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Ghal Tarpfen

• Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 20:22, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: A monster-length, dual-project nom
• Date Archived: 20:30, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
• Final word count: 5951 words (238 introduction, 5411 body, 302 behind the scenes)
• WookieeProject (optional): WP:WOMEN, WP:THR

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

Object

Thrawn

• Since the high republic no longer takes place just in 232 BBY, another reasoning will be needed instead of {{HighRepublicDate}}. ThrawnChiss7 ^{Assembly Cupola} 15:36, 10 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Implemented. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 17:01, 14 April 2023 (UTC)
• Ref 15 needs to be fixed. ThrawnChiss7 ^{Assembly Cupola} 00:48, 9 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Handled. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 01:01, 9 May 2023 (UTC)

Fan

• From the intro: "but left to join the Galactic Republic " I think this would be reworded to specify she was going to serve the Republic or join one of its service branches; only star systems can really join the Republic itself.
  • Reworded.
• I think the third paragraph in the "Head of Security" subsection should give more context regarding Soikans. It just has Tarpfen making certain assumptions and then Jahen clarifying which are true based on information that as is, isn't obvious to the reader without knowledge of the Soikan conflict. (Why does Tarpfen assume Jahen is a soldier? Why would her colouring put her in one faction and not another? etc etc) Fan26 (Talk) 01:43, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
  • That information isn't really known - added a link to the conflict though.
    • Yeah that looks better Fan26 (Talk) 23:13, 30 April 2023 (UTC)
• The Medoslean is referred to with both "her" and "it" pronouns, should be consistent with whichever is correct.
  • Good catch, fixed.
• Context for who the Hassarians are.
  • Not strictly necessary for a species but no harm in it, added.
• Since Keen was already introduced earlier in the article as the Controller, I don't think he needs to be identified again as "the non-Jedi Rodor Keen" when he arrives with the Jedi. Just his surname and position should be enough. Fan26 (Talk) 01:53, 27 April 2023 (UTC)
  • Sure, done. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 02:36, 28 April 2023 (UTC)
• The first sentence of the second paragraph in "Head of Security", about the victims being treated, is a bit of a run-on IMO Fan26 (Talk) 19:39, 10 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Well, it was grammatically correct, if a bit long :P split with a semicolon.
• "Qwasba, like Jahen, was unsure that shooting civilians was a bit of an extreme measure," this should be reworded-either Qwasaba was unsure stunning civilians was necessary, or they felt it was an extreme measure. Based on the context they seem pretty sure it was an extreme measure. Fan26 (Talk) 20:03, 10 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Done. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 19:24, 14 May 2023 (UTC)
• Would you disagree with having a picture of Avon Starros as a related subject in the "Dealing with the aftermath" subsection Fan26 (Talk) 00:42, 4 August 2023 (UTC)
  • Added one of the Ithorian instead. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 19:35, 20 August 2023 (UTC)
• I would argue the Drengir needs more context than just " the murderous Drengir "
• " Professor Glenna Kip then arrived, the scientist behind the hybrid plant." Is this to mean that Kip arrived from behind the plant?
• "him running Nihil weaponry" I'd argue it'd make more sense and would be clearer to just to say he smuggled it. Fan26 (Talk) 15:13, 30 October 2023 (UTC)

Lew

• This could use a Star Wars: Timelines dating update. It dates the events of "First Duty" to 232 BBY, "Hidden Danger" to 231 BBY, THR 9 to 231 BBY, and "Past Mistakes" to 231 BBY.
• In the interests of using existing refs, Mon Cala being a planet is citeable to Timelines. And ref 10 should be merged with the other Tempest Runner one Lewisr (talk) 04:40, 26 June 2023 (UTC)
  • Both addressed, thanks. Not sure if you were seeing something better for Past Mistakes, though maybe I just couldn't find it. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 03:43, 27 June 2023 (UTC)
    • There's mention that the Nihil attempt a failed infiltration of Starlight Beacon, which seems to only be a reference to that story Lewisr (talk) 03:56, 27 June 2023 (UTC)
      • Ah yeah, fixed.
• There are a few duplicate links, especially in the BTS
  • Fixed.
• No quote that could be added for the equipment section? Lewisr (talk) 16:00, 27 June 2023 (UTC)
  • Added. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 17:53, 27 June 2023 (UTC)
• Please combine the death note in the infobox
• The info from THR 9 should be moved to after Tempest Runner since the events in that take place after, and I think it could be expanded a little bit further
• Missing the first mention from the live stream launch event in the BTS Lewisr (talk) 20:18, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
  • All addressed. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 19:35, 20 August 2023 (UTC)
    • The apps and BTS will need to indicate where she was first identified by name (the first story) Lewisr (talk) 20:07, 20 August 2023 (UTC)
      • Added. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 04:33, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
• The family fields in the infobox will need filling in Lewisr (talk) 15:18, 30 October 2023 (UTC)
• Context for Rion Lewisr (talk) 15:18, 30 October 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

1. Overdue objections from me and Fan over 14 days. Also as indicated by Star Wars: The High Republic Character Encyclopedia, Ghal is appearing in phase III of Star Wars: The High Republic so will be needing updates from that Lewisr (talk) 20:07, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
2. Instability probably, same as Poof —spookywilloww^talk 20:08, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
3. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:08, 25 November 2023 (UTC)