Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Gha Nachkt/Legends

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gha Nachkt

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)

Support

  1. Inqvote I forgot to vote when I struck the objections.—Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG (No quarter given, all exits sealed) 16:31, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
  2. JangFett Talk 15:45, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote —Xwing328(Talk) 05:58, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 20:29, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 20:18, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
  6. User:Capt.Scout Officer report 14:23, 2 Aug 2009 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 13:55, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. The clone
    • A note for the future: I'm seeing several unnecessary capitalizations. Titles are not capitalized unless they address the person bearing the title, i.e. "General Grievous" (and "the General of the Confederacy, Grievous" is an incorrect capitalization). I've changed them; please address in future noms.
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • I believe you misunderstood what I meant. "General Grievous" is fine, but "the General of the Confederacy, Grievous", is not. I've corrected this, but please refer to the Manual of Style more in the future. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • I'm noticing both overlinking and underlinking throughout the article. Articles need to be linked once they first appear, and at no other points unless extremely necessary. Also, several links were to redirects; please try to link to the articles themselves, not redirect pages. I corrected what I saw, but please go through the article again.
      • Care to point out what's left, please? --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • There's nothing I can really say except to please run through it again. I'll go through it when I review it with more scrutiny soon, but for now, all I can say is to check it. There's not any specific advice I can give for this; it would be better if you can correct. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • In the infobox, the episode isn't the best source for Nachkt's species. I would recommend changing it to the episode guides (if they have it) or the Visual Guide.
    • "During the Clone Wars" is used twice in the intro; way too redundant. I would suggest removing context for the war, as it's a bit unneeded at this point.
    • "Remains" of what?
    • "Nachkt worked with the foreman of a former Republic commerce guild, the Techno Union, Wat Tambor, at one point in time." Context messes this up; please at least remove the context for the Techno Union to make it flow better.
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • Still there; please just remove the context for the Techno Union. It's not appropriate at this point, since the current sentence flow is extremely choppy. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • Argente was affiliated with the Techno Union? Factual error, I believe. He was the Corporate Alliance Magistrate; I haven't seen anything to prove that he was affiliated otherwise.
    • "Nachkt’s scavenging meant": scavenging can't "mean" anything unless he analyzed it; please reword.
    • "Nachkt’s scavenging meant he found an astromech droid belonging to the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. Nachkt resolved to sell R2-D2, the droid": awkward wording. Please mention that R2-D2 was the astromech droid when you mention the droid the first time.
    • In the intro, didn't Tambor anticipate that Argente would go to Nachkt to buy a droid, and isn't that why he hired Nachkt?
    • Why did Skywalker and Tano go to the Vulture's Claw?
    • It seems to me as though Nachkt never identified R2 by name. It's fine to mention R2-D2 as the droid's name when he's first mentioned, but I believe that "the droid" or "the astromech droid" would be more appropriate throughout the article, because using R2's name implies that Nachkt knew it. Whether or not he knew it, he didn't use it.
      • I hardly see it as implying that. It merely dictates the specific name of "the droid" in question, rather than implying anything Nachkt did or did not do. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
    • "Nachkt was approached by the Skakoan Foreman of the Techno Union, a commerce guild affiliated with the Confederacy, Wat Tambor." Same context issue as before; also, unless it's really necessary, Tambor's species doesn't need to be in there.
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • No, this still remains, and as before, now the context for the Techno Union is mentioned twice. Please check over the article more carefully when you're addressing these objections. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • I'm noticing throughout the article that you're saying a person's title and then identifying them by name in the next sentence or so. Please correct this, as it's not very clear why it needs to be this way.
    • It's unclear why Nachkt's scavenging is mentioned after his deal with Tambor; wasn't he a scavenger prior to then? Also, there's no evidence to suggest that it took place this early; as far as we know, it took place shortly before Argente arrived.
      • Actually, there's no canon evidence to dictate when this deal happened, or when the meeting occurred chronologically. Therefore, we must go by what's likely; such a deal would have had to have been prepared, therefore we must assume the deal was made prior to the Battle of Bothawui.. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • You are correct. However, it was already established that he was a smuggler. I don't believe he turned into a scavenger just for the Battle of Bothawui, because that's currently what the chronological order implies. Please establish the base of his persona before stating specific events that he participated in. CC7567 (talk) 20:33, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
    • "Nachkt would search": inappropriate verb tense; bit confusing.
    • "During the Battle of Bothawui, another battle between the Confederacy and the Republic in the Clone Wars": "another" shouldn't be used here, because there hasn't been any other battle stated in the article.
    • "in the conflict" is unclear, because it implies that it applied to the Clone Wars itself.
    • "Despite R2 being just a droid": "just", as a verb, needs to be replaced with a noun for this to work.
    • Why was Skywalker required to wipe the droid's memory?
    • Correction: Grievous was a cyborg, not a droid. I've reworded the sentence anyway, but please keep this in mind.
    • "After Nachkt had got R2": colloquial; also, does this really need to be in there?
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • I meant that the phrase itself is unnecessary. It's already been stated that Nachkt had possession of the droid, and restating it is just redundant. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • "Argente felt that the Clone Wars were going badly for the Confederacy, and the Confederacy were looking for a scapegoat. He felt that Tambor wanted to make Argente the scapegoat, and so wanted a droid to spy on Tambor.": This can be shortened, as it applies more to Argente than Nachkt.
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • This can still be shortened more. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
          • Now it's rather colloquial. Perhaps change it to something about Argente holding personal disputes with Tambor. It's really unnecessary and irrelevant to Nachkt himself. CC7567 (talk) 08:07, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
    • It needs to be stated earlier that Tambor gave Nachkt the protocol droid; wasn't that part of Tambor's plan?
    • "When the two Jedi came on board the Vulture's Claw to search for R2-D2, Nachkt hid Skywalker's astromech droid, instead escorting them to another area of the ship whilst he hid the droid." So Nachkt hid the droid twice?
    • Where did Skywalker search for his droid with Tano?
    • "After arriving at Grievous' rendezvous point, Nachkt began to reveal the droid's secrets to the General." Please clarify why this is here. I haven't been given any reason to believe that Nachkt was "revealing the droid's secrets" to Grievous when he arrived. If you mean that Grievous ordered him to take apart R2, please either move this down to where it chronologically happens or remove it.
    • "and take the information from him and give it to the general": so Nachkt was stealing R2's memory? Again, I haven't been given a reason to believe this; please reword.
    • "information which Skywalker felt would be devastating to the Republic in the hands of the Confederacy": well, yes, it was implied, but wasn't Kenobi the one who specifically mentioned this? I would recommend just removing Skywalker in this sentence, as I'm quite sure many Republic officials and Jedi would agree with this, not only Skywalker.
    • "Nachkt, having been working on taking the droid apart": please change verb tense to something more appropriate.
    • "as the droid was worth more to the general": really? I believe it would be more appropriate to say that Grievous himself stated this.
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • Nevermind; please just reword this and mention that Grievous found the information more valuable than what he originally thought. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • Is the P&T quote really appropriate? I don't find that a lack of personal hygiene entirely dictates one's personality.
      • Well, any quote can only cover so far. I mean, one quote can cover perhaps one aspect of a personality, and this is one aspect of a personality covered by one quote. "He's a typical smuggler - prone to lying" as a completely made up quote would only cover the aspect of lying in a character's personality. Same here, but with a different aspect. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • I don't understand what you're saying; yes, you're correct in that a quote can only cover one aspect of someone's personality, but the flatulence quote is just unnecessary and inappropriate here. The P&T quote should highlight the most important aspect of his personality (or at least a more important one), and flatulence does not fall in that category. A lack of hygiene implies a lack of care for oneself, yes, but it is not essentially part of the personality. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • Nachkt's lack of care for "withholding his flatulence" needs a source; the episode isn't a source.
    • The flatulence is rather overly embellished upon. Is a few sentences (vs. one sentence) really necessary to be dedicated to one's hygiene rather than one's personality?
    • "Nachkt was liable to lie and hide things from people if he felt being honest would mean he would loose any merchandise he would otherwise be able to sell." A few things:
      • This sentence is choppy and needs rewording.
      • "Liable" isn't an appropriate choice of words; it's usually "liable to experience something", not "liable to commit something".
    • "when they came searching for him": colloquial; please mention the Vulture's Claw somewhere in there.
      • Yep. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
        • Please check this again; both objections still remain. It's still colloquial, and the Vulture's Claw still needs to be mentioned. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
    • "Nachkt was also somewhat greedy": it's either he was or he wasn't; don't leave room for speculation. Didn't his ability to be bribed by Argente further prove this? Also, that ability to be bribed needs to be mentioned here in the P&T.
    • "In both episodes, the webcomic and in the series of The Clone Wars in general, Nachkt is the only character to be prone to such flatulence as he is." This is too trivial and is in need of a nuking.
    • The episodes aren't sources for the tradition of a Trandoshan having three fingers.
    • "The seats of Nachkt’s ship, Vulture’s Claw, are similar in design to those in the Millenium Falcon, the ship owned by the smuggler Han Solo." If anything, this should have been mentioned in the ship's article; however, this is too trivial as well to be worth a mention.
    • Please just go through this article and improve things in general. Awkward wording seems to be prominent where better wording could be used, and less colloquial wording can be used in multiple places. Good luck with these. I'll take another look once they're addressed. CC7567 (talk) 05:32, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
    • "Gha Nachkt, as a Trandoshan, had a distinct lack of personal hygiene in comparison with what humans and other sentients such as Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano deemed to be civilized." First of all, Skywalker and Tano's reactions in the episode are not a source of their beliefs on civility. Also, the "Trandoshan trend" of a lack of personal hygiene requires a source. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. Fett's 2 cents
  3. Second attack
    • I believe that the intro can be shortened. Two paragraphs will be fine, but I don't mean for you to do this simply by merging paragraphs.
      • It's a pretty small intro, really, and I can't see much use of shortening it, especially when compared to a lot of other intros... --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
    • "Despite Nachkt's neutrality to both factions, Nachkt would deal with both the Republic and the Confederacy." The neutrality already says that; the sentence is redundant in itself.
    • "At some point, Nachkt was approached by Wat Tambor, a member of the Confederacy. Tambor was Foreman of the Techno Union, a commerce guild affiliated with the Confederacy." There's a tad of excess context here, and it's not supporting the flow. Please either say that he's a member of the Confederacy or that he was foreman of the Techno Union; otherwise, it's redundant.
    • "Tambor offered to pay him to sell a protocol droid to Magistrate of the Corporate Alliance, another commerce guild, Passel Argente, would have no idea of the droid's true programming, and so the droid would be able to spy on Argente and report back on his dealings to Tambor." There's a definite lack of flow here for reasons that I've already stated in my first look. Also, the sentence is a run-on and isn't making sense; please reword.
    • The first paragraph of the Bio's section section has too much on R2-D2; please cut it down and only leave what's necessary to Nachkt. I don't think Kenobi even requires a mention.
    • The paragraph regarding Nachkt's transfer of the droid to Argente is very choppy in sentence flow. Please reword and merge sentences where you can.
    • CC7567 (talk) 04:30, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
  4. Blacklist:
    • "Nachkt sold Tambor's droid to Argente in return for credits from Tambor; the droid being able to report on Argente's dealings to Tambor without Argente knowing." Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but I can't make sense of the second part of this sentence.
    • "During the war, Nachkt scavenged the debris left over after battles for items he could sell to the Republic or the Confederacy. Nachkt would deal with both the Republic and the Confederacy." the same wording used at the end of both sentences in too close succession.
    • Likewise, you use "scavenging the debris after the battle" rather often for an article not of any considerable length. Consider altering your word choices here & there.
    • Decent otherwise. Though I cleaned it up, be mindful of underlinking, among other things.—Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG (No quarter given, all exits sealed) 21:10, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
  5. You seem to repeat too often how he is a scavenger that sells to the Republic and Confederacy. Plus, both times you mention the Clone Wars, you don't need to say how it was fought between the Republic and Confederacy. Once in the body is probably enough. The intro doesn't usually need such specifics. —Xwing328(Talk) 05:24, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
  6. Toprawa:
    • A passing objection: Have you checked The Clone Wars Campaign Guide, CSWE, and The Clone Wars Season One article in Insider 106 for information? Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:07, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
  7. Chack Attack:
    • "Confederacy" isn't linked.
    • Give context on it by giving the full title.
    • Actually, you can remedy the first two with this: explain what the factions are when first mentioned, ie "either of the two fighting factions, the Galactic Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems."
    • You use Nachkt too many times. Vary it by using "he" or "the Trandoshan". The same with Tambor.
    • Context on Separatist Council.
    • "Tambor anticipated that the Koorivar Passel Argente, an adversary of his, would come to Nachkt to buy a droid. Tambor contacted Nachkt to sell Argente a spy droid, and Nachkt agreed." These need to be combined or something, because it's quite awkward as is.
    • After mentioning this, you jump too suddenly into the next bit. How did Nachky know to head to the battle? Explain that stuff a touch more.
    • How did Skywalker and Tano know that the droid was on his ship? Did they encounter him at the battlefield, or what? Explain that a bit.
  8. More to come once you deal with these. I'm aware that some of these are {{sofixit}} but I think it would be best if you fixed them, partly because I'm not sure exactly how to word some things, and also because I think you'd benefit from it; it helps teach a bit about this process. Chack Jadson (Talk) 21:38, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
    • More stuff now.
    • "Tambor anticipated that the Koorivar Passel Argente, an adversary of his, would come to the scavenger to buy a droid. The council member contacted the Trandoshan to sell Argente a spy droid." If he anticipated that he would come, then why does Tambor need to contact him?
      • It really wasn't clear; the comic didn't really specify how. Argente came and left, and then Nachkt contacted Tambor, but it still wasn't clear. CC7567 (talk) 18:45, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
    • "Argente arrived at the Vulture's Claw to buy a droid to spy on Tambor. Nachkt sold the Separatist council member's droid to Argente in return for credits from Tambor." So Nachkt sold him Tambor’s droid? This is confusing.
      • Hopefully that's cleared up now. I gave it another once-over, and hopefully that'll compromise some of the future objections. CC7567 (talk) 18:45, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
    • More to come once you've dealt with these. Chack Jadson (Talk) 15:56, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
    • Ok, last one: how did Skywalker know that Nachkt had his droid and was going to send it to Grievous? Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:45, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
      • Addressed. Thanks, Chack. CC7567 (talk) 03:29, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
  9. Discount
    • Even thought the article seems to be ready to be featured, the events happened in Discount should be expanded. In article, it isn't noted what truly happened during the meeting with Argente.--Kreivi Wolter 14:30, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
  10. Intro-"In retribution, Grievous killed him." This sentence needs expanding. How did Grievous kill Gha? JangFett Talk 16:56, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:12, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

  • Since I have no idea when Darth tom is coming back (it was supposed to be two days ago, but I haven't seen him around), and since I want to get this off the page, I'm going to try and address the remaining objections until he gets back. Hope no one minds. CC7567 (talk) 18:45, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
  • Thanks, CC. :) --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 19:33, 7 August 2009 (UTC)