Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Elscol Loro

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Elscol Loro

  • Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:41, January 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Did she mention the Empire killed her husband?

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Nice work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:33, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
  2. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 22:29, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 21:23, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:00, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Nicely done. Supreme Emperor (talk) 20:59, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 22:35, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cadeth
  • Intro: could you maybe give some context on what time she lived? Currently the Galactic Civil War isn't mentioned until the bio.
  • Intro: Context on Rogue Squadron?
  • Bio: In the first paragraphs, where Throm is mentioned, I think it'd be better if you referred to Elscol by her first name. It gets kind of confusing otherwise. Specifically, "By 1 ABY, Loro married Throm Loro", "and he and Loro became the leaders of the local anti-Imperial resistance group.", and "Loro's husband was killed".
    • Changed the two in the first paragraph, but I think the third should be clear enough. Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:16, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • Bio: Context on the Rebel Alliance and Galactic Civil War?
  • Article for Loro's family's home that was destroyed?
  • Article for the Alliance contact, or is it unclear or already specified?
  • Context for the New Republic and its link to the Alliance.
  • "Loro agreed to rearm Rogue Squadron in exchange for their help against Tascl." Didn't she just give them their weapons back in the temple?
    • She gave them their blasters, but that's not the same as rearming the squadron. It's the comic's wording, but I've changed it to resupply to avoid any ambiguity. Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:16, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll continue soon. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 21:51, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • The first sentence of the Mission to Tatooine sentence is rather long. Any way you can break it up?
    • Rearranged the first two sentences. How's that? Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:11, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • A {{Main}} template might be appropriate in this section as well.
    • I'll add it if you insist, but it's already linked in the body and that template's mostly used in subsections of equipment, owners and operators, etc. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:11, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • Is the gang war large enough to deserve its own article?
    • We never really find out anything about it beyond Olan trying to seize power, so I don't think so. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:11, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • What exactly did the contest entail? It could use a little more explanation, I think.
    • They hooked them up to some computer stuff that made them imagine a race across Ryloth to retrieve a ball. It takes some explanation and Loro isn't actually involved. I've changed "contest" to "race" to make it a little clearer. Let me know if that works. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:11, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'm not really sure about the placement of the picture with Loro and Groznik; he's dead by 7 ABY, right? I won't call for its removal, but if there's any way you could alter the caption to reflect his fate by that time it would be great.
    • It's a generic picture from the Handbook put there to break up the text since there's a lot of text in that section and no related images. The caption says what it is and I don't really see why it would need to say anything else. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:11, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • "a skilled pilot of both landspeeders and starfighters, who was especially effective against Imperial targets." I don't think who is the correct word here; do you mean "in which she was" or something similar?
  • That's it. Good work. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 22:23, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
O M I

*Quote in Rogue Squadron: typo or is is misspelled in the source? <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 22:00, March 6, 2013 (UTC)

Cav
  • Isard fled the planet and was killed by Rogue Squadron. - given the events of Isard's Revenge, this isn't entirely accurate since it implies that she died at Thyferra (although this is what the NR believed at the time). I know that the events from that book shouldn't have any bearing on the article, but maybe a little something about how she was eventually killed years later at Bilbringi(?) would be more appropriate? Same for the end of the bio.
  • Can you shift the first mention of Targeter and the context of her to the first mention of an Alliance contact in the previous paragraph? Or are they separate individuals?
    • Probably the same person, but it's not very clear so I was leaving it ambiguous on purpose. Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:43, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • Article for Tascl's palace? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:22, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
    • Already linked in the previous paragraph. Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:43, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
SE
  • In the intro could you add the date her husband died? Also, could you link to the Battle of the Cliffs in the intro?
    • Linked it, but I don't think we have a date. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:43, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • At the beginning of the biography you have two redlinks for her parents and her sister, could you fix these?
    • FANs are allowed to have up to three redlinks per rule 8. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:43, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • In that same section you mention her husband died in the battle of the cliffs, could you add a date in that line?
  • There's a redlink for her home in this section, could you fix it?
  • Will finish my review later tonight Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:48, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
  • Alright these are my only objections, otherwise nicely done. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:32, March 17, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:35, April 7, 2013 (UTC)