Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Darth Stryfe

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Stryfe

• Nominated by: Grunny ^(Talk) 08:39, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Upgrading from GA to FA now that the Storms story arc is completed.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)

Support

1. CC7567 ^(talk) 07:50, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
2. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 11:11, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
3. Thefourdotelipsis 02:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
4. Very good. Chack Jadson ^(Talk) 19:07, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
5. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 20:02, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
6. — Fiolli ^{{Alpheridies University ComNet}} 02:30, 1 June 2009 (UTC)

Object

1. Attack of the Clone
   • Not sure what your standing on this is, but in the intro, you might want to consider mentioning planets as, well, planets.
     • Done.
   • "In that same year, after Krayt's Hands, Darth Nihl and Darth Talon, let former Jedi Cade Skywalker, who Krayt sought for his healing ability, escape the Sith Temple on Coruscant, Stryfe was named Krayt's new Hand to replace Nihl." Maybe use dashes somewhere? The flow is a bit awkward.
     • How's this? :)
   • Context definitely needed for Coruscant, both in the intro and body.
     • Done.
   • "Darth Wyyrlok appeared, stopped the fight, and took Stryfe down to the chamber." Slightly choppy.
     • Hopefully less so now :-).
   • Stryfe's identification as male is currently only in the intro.
     • Addressed.
   • Where was K'Kruhk at the time of his injury?
     • Done.
   • Context needed for Had Abbadon.
     • Done.
   • "Krayt must die" seems to be in the wrong tense. Maybe change it to "Krayt had to die", although I think it can be worded better.
     • Better?
   • Korriban needs context.
     • Done.
   • In the P&T, "brutal" is used twice; can one be changed?
     • Changed one.
   • "Stryfe was easily manipulated by Skywalker's taunts which infuriated him": rather awkward wording; please try to change if you can.
     • Changed it a little, see what you think :-). Grunny ^(Talk) 07:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
   • Looking good. CC7567 ^(talk) 07:46, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
2. From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
   • In the intro, I'm seeing an overuse of "Stryfe." Could you replace a few of these with pronouns?
     • Changed a few :).
   • Is Captain Meeshal specifically referred to as Stryfe's aid? If not, you should rephrase that.
     • Rephrased.
   • A bit more context on the Hidden Temple, please.
     • How's that?
   • Context on Darth Reave.
     • Contextified.
   • "During the attack, Reave had been bitten by an ancient and thought-to-be extinct form of Sithspawn—known as a rakghoul—while fighting Skywalker and his companions..." - I think it would be better if you reword this sentence to read "Reave had been bitten by a rakghoul—an ancient and thought-to-be extinct form of Sithspawn—while fighting..."
     • Indeed, reworded :-).
   • In the next paragraph, you mention Muur contacted Krayt. Was this via hologram, or through the Force?
     • Added "via hologram".
   • Well done. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 14:19, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
     • Thanks for the review, Tranner :-). Grunny ^(Talk) 06:06, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
3. The intro could be pared down a bit to be more proportional. Thefourdotelipsis 01:53, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
4. You say he was created by Jan Duursema and don't mention John Ostrander. The comic is credited to both so you'd probably need a source for him being her character specifically. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 19:55, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
   • That was a relic of it's previous state before I rewrote it (neglectful of me) and I can't find a source which confirms it so I have rewritten that part of the Bts. Thanks for the review GT :-). Grunny ^(Talk) 01:42, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:19, 1 June 2009 (UTC)