Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/B'rknaa

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

B'rknaa

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:21, May 17, 2013 (UTC)
  2. --Eyrezer (talk) 19:54, May 29, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ~SavageBOB sig 16:49, June 2, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 22:54, August 21, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 20:14, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
  6. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 20:32, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
  7. Sad fate for the species. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 14:59, September 15, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd
  • "Jace Forno, a Human female from Corellia, once sold a single crystal for fifty thousand credits. Forno intended to steal as many clusters as she could and put them for sale on the open market in order to gain substantial income." Shouldn't this just stay in the History section?
    • Well, I wanted to have that part there because it helps understand how powerful (and thus valuable) the crystals are. But I can remove it if you like. --LelalMekha (talk) 01:59, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Are all the double refs really necessary? IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:51, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • Most of them weren't, obviously. I only left one, because you actually need the two sources to prove that the B'rknaa were primitive by galactic standards: you've got to see how they live (in the comic) and check what the standard tech levels are in the reference book. --LelalMekha (talk) 01:59, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
Savaged…
  • What about moving the information about how valuable their crystals were on the black market to a new "B'rknaa in the galaxy" section? While they didn't go into the galaxy on their own volition, they did have a presence there in the form of black-market crystals. As it stands now, the information about how valuable the crystals were seems out of place to me in "Biology and appearance." But it would be a nice way to add a short "In the galaxy" section, IMHO.
  • The third paragraph of "History" goes a bit too far into play-by-play detail about the events of the comic. Can you pare it down a bit, removing the extraneous details about who said what to whom, etc.? ~SavageBOB sig 12:59, May 31, 2013 (UTC)
    • I tried to pare it down. See if you think it's sufficient. --LelalMekha (talk) 20:22, June 1, 2013 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • The intro looks a bit long, and the third paragraph's rather in-depth for an intro. I'd suggest dropping the sentence about The Jedi Path, and try to rework the rest of the paragraph to be more concise and not so detailed. You can then merge it with the small second paragraph.
    • I tried to reduce it as you asked. See if that works for you. --LelalMekha (talk) 20:10, August 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'm not sure, but I think a caption in the infobox image stating that the image is of a B'rknaa husk and not the crystals themselves.
  • "Scientists of the Jedi Order theorized that the Force itself allowed species to develop barriers that could redirect its flow." Is there a word missing between allowed and species? I'm kind of confused by the sentence.
    • Does it work better with "certain species?" --LelalMekha (talk) 20:10, August 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • In the society and culture section, you've got "onsidered archaic by galactic standards.[8][1]". When you have two references right next to each other, the references should be sorted numerically, so the Droids reference should come before the new Alien Encounters reference.
  • Good work otherwise. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 19:43, August 18, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • The body of the article doesn't seem to explicitly state anywhere that the B'rknaa were a sentient species, so that would be worth adding if you can find somewhere to do so.
  • "one large B'rknaa specimen was enough to handle all the systems power of a planetoid": I'm not entirely sure, but is there a possessive apostrophe missing here (perhaps for "systems")?
    • There may indeed lack a possessive apostrophe, but it's not an oversight on my part. The comic says: "Look at that energy transfer rate. One of these could handle all the systems power of a small planet!" --LelalMekha (talk) 16:08, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
  • I would recommend trying to limit the use of quotation marks for terms such as "younglings" (in Society and culture), "offspring" (in Biology and appearance), and "locals" (in the second paragraph of the History). I understand the reason for putting them in quotation marks, but overusing them in this manner can sometimes come off as not very encyclopedic. See what you can do, and keep the quotation marks that you think are necessary; the rest, I'd advise removing.
    • Got rid of those, except "offspring" and the tile of a chapter from The Jedi Path. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:08, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
  • Skirmish on Indobok needs to be linked somewhere in the intro.
  • Please use {{WebCite}} for ref 15.
  • Please keep on the lookout for linking, including to disambig pages; stone and rock are examples of this. CC7567 (talk) 15:24, September 12, 2013 (UTC
    • One thing regarding this: please note that stone is a disambiguation page, and disambiguation pages should not be linked in the IU portion of an article. CC7567 (talk) 16:13, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
      • Ah! Here is the misunderstanding. I thought you wanted those words to be linked, and that was just the opposite. --LelalMekha (talk) 16:25, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
        • Yeah, sorry for the confusion. CC7567 (talk) 20:14, September 12, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:38, September 15, 2013 (UTC)

  • I wanted to GAN it, but with the new rules on GA length, it became impossible. Please note that I can't explain what "one large B'rknaa specimen was enough to handle all the systems power of a planetoid" means. That's what the source says, and there's no explanation whatsoever as to what "systems power" means. --LelalMekha (talk) 13:27, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
    • I love this!! What ambiguity. --Eyrezer (talk) 19:55, May 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • I think you are missing a ref in the first paragraph of Biology and appearance, otherwise you are reffing their colour to Alien Encounters. --Eyrezer (talk) 22:58, June 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • Thanks for pointing that out. --LelalMekha (talk) 23:03, June 1, 2013 (UTC)