Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Azrakel

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Azrakel

(6 Inqs/1 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 00:19, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Graestan(This party's over) 19:35, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 22:12, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:18, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:19, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Jaina Solo(Talk) 21:17, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Imperialles 11:37, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

    • From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
    • "Palpatine and Vader's death" is either incorrect or awkward.
      • Addressed.
    • "With the aid of Grand Admiral Afsheen Makati, Azrakel killed Kadann, though later discovered that this was but a weak impostor."—Subtle tense issues.
      • Addressed.
    • Weak last sentence of the intro; anticlimactic.
      • Addressed.
    • "Little is known"—Reword; worn cliché.
      • Addressed.
    • "The aforementioned"—Same.
      • Addressed.
    • "Dark side experiment" in two consecutive sentences is stilted.
      • Addressed.
    • "Series of covert mission"—Pluralize.
      • Addressed.
    • "Preferring to operate."—...?
      • Addressed.
    • Serial commas missing.
      • Addressed.
    • "Claiming to be simply be a"—Yeah.
      • Addressed.
    • "Kadann was among those struck down by his bitter apprentice, before being killed himself."—Specify.
      • I can't, I'm afraid. Evil Never Dies just says "Azrakel managed to destroy a number of the flabbergasted Prophets, including Supreme Prophet Kadann, before being permanently put down. Though the surviving Prophets thought they were now safe, within minutes of Azrakel's death, the Dark Lady Lumiya and her apprentice Carnor Jax finished the job." I assumed it was the Prophets who killed him, but CUSWE has Lumiya as the killer, and Ataru said in IRC that it's too ambiguous to say who did it.
        • It's not what I meant; I am stating that the sentence sounds like it is establishing that Kadann died—twice.
          • Ah. Addressed.
    • Source the BtS.
      • It sources itself.
        • I still would like to see it sourced.
    • —Graestan(This party's over) 01:32, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Pounded Desk Thing
    • "Soon after Azrakel severed ties with the Empire, both Palpatine and Vader were killed aboard the second Death Star at Endor, and Kadann and the remainder of the Prophets went into hiding." - Too many "and"s.
      • Addressed.
    • That's all. Thefourdotelipsis 07:32, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. File:Kadann.jpg needs to be cropped. File:Azrakel.jpg and File:AzrakelHS.jpg are distorted and need to be re-scanned. --Imperialles 17:33, 11 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by Inquisitorius 14:48, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

  • A very interesting character. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 00:19, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Hmm. Not sure about this one--reads a bit fanboyish, e.g. 'his past is shrouded in mystery' and such and such, if you know what I mean. Unit 8311 20:13, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Is that the only problem, or is it just an example? If its the former, could you please be more specific? I'm happy to work with you here, but such vague comments are quite difficult to address. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:19, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
        • What I mean is, in a few places the prose seems a bit cheesy for a Wiki. employing many techniques he hoped would break the young man and turn him into a mindless slave of the dark side, loyal to Palpatine until the end, his mind made completely empty by the dark side that sort of thing. I can give you more examples if you want. Does that clarify things, or shall I explain further? Unit 8311 21:24, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
          • I'm reluctant to do anything about it at the minute; largely because I'm away and don't have the sources with me, but also because 4 inqs don't seem to mind. Thanks, -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 09:13, 4 January 2008 (UTC)