- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Unidentified Squib trader (Kabal)
(2 ECs/1 Users/3 Total)
(Votes required: Additional 2 user or 1 EC vote required to pass.)
Support
- #Justiceforthethieves. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:47, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
QuiGonJinn 
(Talk) 18:38, June 19, 2020 (UTC)- Corellian Premier
The Force will be with you always 23:13, June 22, 2020 (UTC)
Object
Tommy
The formatting of both Fair Prey and Star Wars Gamer 1 is inconsistent. This is the exact same objection I had for Ginder yesterday, which is disappointing to see you haven't learnt from.Links should never be in the bold (title) element of the body.Tommy-Macaroni 12:06, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
In-universe articles should never start with "This ..."Article is listed in Category:Merchants, but the term Merchant is never linked in the body.QuiGonJinn(Talk) 12:19, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
Gender should be mentioned outright in the body rather than being linked to the first pronoun.Zed42 (talk) 20:57, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
Spooky
"She bartered with the Tynnan thief Dawson, who was interested in securing the latter item from her; offered a coil of golden wire in exchange for the toy, she rejected Dawson's offer and insulted him, much to the amusement of the red-haired beings accompanying her." I believe this can be split into two sentences. It runs-on, and has a lot going on within it.—spookywillowwtalk 22:42, June 17, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
- Please mention that the Squib was a female in the first sentence, and specify that she was a trader in the second sentence. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
- No, you didn't have to join the two sentences via semi-colon. I want you to refer to the Squib as a female in the first sentence and as a trader in the second. Imperators II(Talk) 14:39, June 30, 2020 (UTC)
- Per the Layout Guide, a full publication date must be provided for the magazine issue. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
- I'm not buying the Cargo Bay's September release date. Can you confirm that from another source? Several other sources (the ones listed on the issue's article) mention that the magazine's release would have coincided with RPG product releases in November, plus that the magazine would be bi-monthly, with the second issue's release put in February. Imperators II(Talk) 14:39, June 30, 2020 (UTC)
- An Oxford comma must be used in the sentence listing the merchant's wares. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
- In the source, the red-haired "beings" are further identified as "aliens." Please specify this, and go over the source once again to see if there are any other details you've missed. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
- Please refer to the novelty toy in the way it is formatted in the source. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
Ayrehead
The source doesn't say that the red-maned aliens were accompanying her, just that they were onlookers lingering nearby.Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:16, July 13, 2020 (UTC)I think you can go into more detail about the distraction, since the Squib catches the Quay after it's thrown and then made a joke about it.Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:16, July 13, 2020 (UTC)- The body is now 176 words so you'll need to take this to GAN. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:49, July 20, 2020 (UTC)