Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified Nihil Cloud leader

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Nihil Cloud leader

• Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 21:10, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:
• WookieeProject (optional): WP:THR, WP:NOVELS

(3 ECs/0 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

1. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:40, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
2. Heh, the Cloud leader lives to see another day on the CAN :P Imperators II^(Talk) 18:30, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
3. OOM 224 12:28, 27 May 2022 (UTC)

Object

Imp

• What is the "first wave"?
  • Added.
    • Is that referring to the first attacks on the Chespea temple or some wider campaign involving the Nihil? If the latter, is it the Nihil conflict?
      • No, this is the only attack on Chespea. From my understanding the Nihil conflict article covers the issues with the Nihil that the Republic has been dealing with throughout all of SW:THR (232–230 BBY). The first wave is what we see in the OOU First and Second Wave of THR material. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 16:58, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
        • Well, the context for that has tipped the article over 165, let's see some sectioning. Imperators II^(Talk) 18:47, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
          • Done. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 18:16, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
• I get that you're possibly going for some variety there, but in this case I do think that beginning the article with the likes of "A male individual served as the leader of a Nihil Cloud" would read more friendly to the casual reader who's not necessarily familiar with THR material and would also give you the opportunity to fluidly add some much-needed context for both the Nihil and Clouds.
  • Switched.
• "However, the Cloud leader snappishly clarified that they had transitioned to attacking Jedi directly in order to send a message." — not sure that "directly" is the word you're really looking for here. Even just attacking a Jedi temple in the first place is attacking the Jedi directly. Per the quote, something like "exclusively attacking Jedi" would sound like a better fit to me.
  • Fair enough, done.
• "That goal was ultimately successful as the attack resulted in the destruction of the Jedi temple and the deaths of every Jedi on Chespea." — per the previous sentence, it reads to me as if the goal of the Nihil there was to send a message to the Jedi instead of merely attacking them for the sheer purpose of attacking. So unless we get some info about the Jedi reaction to the attack we can't really judge whether the goal was successful or not based on merely the fact that the attack took place. Imperators II^(Talk) 07:39, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
  • We actually do have that info - added some, is that enough? JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 17:24, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
    • I feel like the "still" bit could use some clarifying context - why was it thought before the Chespea attack that the Nihil no longer posed a threat? What situation did this Cloud leader's actions affect? Imperators II^(Talk) 19:24, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Added a bit more. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 17:30, 25 May 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 20:53, 27 May 2022 (UTC)