- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
The Sickener
- Nominated by: TK-462 (talk) 01:12, 26 December 2020 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Fortunately, I'll only have the mud and barbed wire version of this.
(2 ECs/2 Users/4 Total)
(Votes required: Additional 1 user or 1 EC vote required to pass.)
Support
- DwartiiDelver (talk) 17:05, 31 December 2020 (UTC)
Good work, keep it up! - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 10:35, 20 January 2021 (UTC)- Erebus Chronus (talk) 03:12, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93
(talk) 06:40, 7 February 2021 (UTC)
Object
OOM
Affiliation is infobox-exclusive.Category for location needed.Please reword "Cuy'val Dar training Sergeant Kal Skirata's led his troops […]" I don't quite understand what it's trying to say.The clones being born in 32 BBY and having taken part in the course could not mean the training course was built by 32 BBY. Please revise the date and the relevent reference note.Would it be worth mentioning Kal Skirata threw up during/after going through The Sickener per the article's quote?- - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 23:03, 26 December 2020 (UTC)Context should be given for Fi Skirata in the Quote template.The "t" in "the Sickener" is not capitalised in the CSWE.The article does not establish Kal Skirata being a Mandalorian, so readers might not know who "the seasoned Mandalorian" is referring to. The term "Mandalorian" should either be replaced by something like "sergeant" or be also used earlier in the article to describe Skirata.There's some missing info. from the CSWE. I'll DM you over on Discord.- - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:28, 1 January 2021 (UTC)The mention of nerfs can't be sourced to CSWE.There's still some CSWE information missing from the article.- The Sickener's name's origin
- The instructors saying the course being nothing compared to what clones would encounter on an actual battlefield.
- Skirata earning trust and respect
- Skirata proving that he wouldn't put his clones through any hardship that he wasn't willing to endure himself. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:16, 14 January 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
CSWE reference needs to use {{CSWECite}}."Mandalorian Sergeant Kal Skirata of the Cuy'val Dar endured The Sickener before his troops, which caused the seasoned Mandalorian to vomit." Reads as if the troops caused Kal to vomit.UberSoldat93
(talk) 18:53, 14 January 2021 (UTC)
Context for Tipoca City.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:34, 24 January 2021 (UTC)
- Still not addressed. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:14, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
- Still not addressed. UberSoldat93
Erebus
Category:Kamino locations should be switched out for Category:Tipoca City locations.Erebus Chronus (talk) 20:41, 20 January 2021 (UTC)
Imp
You can't source the fact that the Sickener was located in Tipoca City to the Databank if it doesn't mention the Sickener.Imperators II(Talk) 07:23, 7 February 2021 (UTC)- Grammar issues, first sentence. "The Sickener was a training facility used by the Galactic Republic's Grand Army on[3] the extragalactic planet[4] Kamino that was used in clone commando training[2] by 22 BBY.[1]"
- Grammar issues, last sentence. "[...] Sergeant Kal Skirata of the Cuy'val Dar endured The Sickener, the seasoned Mandalorian vomiting in the process[5] before his troops, thereby earning their trust and respect.[2]"
- I don't see why the double ref is necessary when you can just source the Omega Squad bit to the same following ref 5. Imperators II(Talk) 22:31, 8 February 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Immi Thrax
There are a few places where the refs are mid-sentence rather than after punctuation or after an article link, interrupting the flow of reading. Is this an accurate reflection of what is/isn't in the sources?
- "The Sickener was a training facility used by the Galactic Republic's Grand Army on[3] the extra-galactic planet[4] Kamino that was used in clone commando training[2] by 22 BBY.[1]"
- Does source [4] say they trained on an extra-galactic planet without saying it was on Kamino? Does [3] say the GAR used a training facility, but not say it was on Kamino like [4], and doesn't say it was used for clone commando training while [2] does? The placement of those references raised those questions for me about the sources.
- "filled with the rotting entrails of animals[2] such as nerfs[3] and other decaying matter"
- Does source [3] mention nerfs while source [2] doesn't?
- "the seasoned Mandalorian vomiting in the process[5] before his troops, thereby earning their trust and respect.[2]"
- Does source [5] say Skirata vomited in the process, but doesn't say it was "before his troops" despite the quote indicating a commando's awareness of his vomiting? Does it not say until [2] that this earned him their trust and respect?
If these do accurately reflect the sources, some rewording could help avoid the interruptions-- or if the placements could follow after a link or punctuation, that would also help it read better. Immi Thrax (talk) 01:37, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
- ETA: If adjusting ref placements is simply not possible, that's quite all right and you can just ignore this. My primary concern is confirming/ensuring those placements are accurately reflecting what source(s) has the info. Just let me know :) Immi Thrax (talk) 18:33, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
- ETA again to please note this is deliberately under the comment section and not the objection section, because it's really me having a question about the refs, not objecting to the nom moving forward as-is! Immi Thrax (talk) 18:40, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
Vote to remove nomination (EC only)
- Unaddressed objections from Imperators over 7 days old. TK's userpage says he's at boot camp for the foreseeable future so I don't think he's still gonna be around to see this through. Tommy-Macaroni 08:55, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 08:56, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:57, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
