Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Andor

< Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.

Andor

  • Nominated by: Goodmind (talk) 20:41, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:CO

(0 ECs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 2 EC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 1 EC vote required to pass.)

Support

Object

Star Wars: Andor
  • Context for Duchess Thax, Prince Lumon.
  • Mission to Thermis is conjectural, please reword it to establish that.
  • (Review note) Is there a better image available? — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 20:48, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Fixed --Goodmind (talk) 00:52, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Change "the mission" to "a mission;" also, what about the image? — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 12:00, 27 May 2022 (UTC
        • That's the only depiction in the comic, unless you mean better resolution --Goodmind (talk) 12:32, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
          • I meant another depiction.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 19:40, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for the Clone Wars.
  • Please change your paragraphs so you don't have a big one and a single line one
    • Fixed --Goodmind (talk) 12:42, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Context for the Clone Wars? — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 19:40, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
  • "Who served as a commanding officer…" Are there others? — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 12:00, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Remove the duplicate link.
  • "The admiral was a loyal officer who carried out the orders.[1]" Was he only given some orders?
  • Correct capitalization for titles. — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 19:40, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Adding objections from Discord:
    • "Andor, who would not hesitate to destroy the fighter as ordered," What fighter?
    • "whose starfighter was hurtling toward the moon," Is that the fighter mentioned above? Context at the first mention in that case.
    • "whose starfighter was hurtling toward the moon, sabotaged by the agent of the Separatist Duchess Thax in an attempt to discredit him" Why does Thax wish to discredit him?
    • "While Andor reported starfighter's destruction" Missing something.
    • "the Jedi Master survived and returned to Themis with a scrap of the droid that had sabotaged his vessel. " A scrap of the droid? What droid? Is that Thax's agent?
    • "The admiral was a loyal officer who carried out any orders.[1]" Wouldn't that be "who carried out his orders"? Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 13:33, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
  • "who would not hesitate to destroy his fighter as ordered, and persuaded them to fire on his ship precisely on time." shouldn't it be "who did not hesitate…"?
  • I don't really know if it's necessary, but you introduce Prince Lumon and Kenobi's return to Thermis without saying what happened afterward. Could you establish that Kenobi informed the prince of Thax's treachery and Themis joined the republic? Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 20:31, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you give a brief summary of the biography in the intro? Like, the introduction only states who they were and it's not not telling that he collaborated with Obi-Wan Kenobi, etc. (Example)
  • You should also state that he was part of the Thermian fleet, and everything currently stated in the intro in the biography. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 09:42, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Themis.
  • The last "him" in the biography is not clear.
  • The article passed the word count some time ago, therefore it is ineligible for CAN. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 18:07, 10 June 2022 (UTC)
Braha
  • You should link the Galactic Republic in the intro.
  • The second sentence of the bio has to many parts in it in my opinion. I would highly recommend splitting it to introduce the Republic mission and Kenobi's situation in the first one, and then Andor's part in the second.
  • "who would not hesitate to destroy his fighter as ordered" are you able to provide some context for these orders beforehand? Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 03:26, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
Manoof
  • The body is a bit confusing around the sequence of events. Can you clean it up a bit so the sequence is correct? If I understand correctly, Lumon directs/orders Andor to destroy Kenobi's ship, Kenobi requests Andor to destory him at the right moment, which Andor complies with? This doesn't seem to make sense why he would delay, especially when it explicitly states Andor would not delay. Does the source clarify? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 05:52, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
    • That's the right order, Kenobi wants to time the ejector seat --Goodmind (talk) 06:04, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
      • So that needs to be made clearer, you mention Kenobi contacting Andor, then mention Andor would destroy it without hesitation, then Kenobi persuading Andor. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:31, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
  • "planet's explosive moon's" needs to be reworded as it is currently saying the moon is exposive Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 05:52, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
    • That's right, the moon has explosive ore --Goodmind (talk) 06:04, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
      • Yes, but the moon itself isn't explosive Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:31, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
  • discredit would be to bring doubt to Kenobi's claims, but it sounds like the droid was wanting to kill Kenobi, so is this the right word choice and does it need further clarification/context? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 05:52, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Not sure what you mean --Goodmind (talk) 06:04, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
      • You say the droid was planted to discredit Kenobi, but it had sabotaged his vessel. That's sabotage or a failed assassination attempt rather than discrediting Kenobi, if it is discrediting his abilities or capabilities or the Republic's decision in sending him or something that needs to be explained. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:31, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Should mention his boots. Check your wordcount as these objections may take it over to GA Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 05:52, 13 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Droid is notable and should get its own article Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:31, 13 June 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • I cut out some extraneous stuff, so hopefully that's not a problem --Goodmind (talk) 01:47, 28 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Just want to point out that the article is at 250 words, and seeing as there are requests for more info, it is highly unlikely this CAN can stay up. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:47, 11 June 2022 (UTC)