Wookieepedia:Inq/CT-27-5555 (second review)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a reduxed featured article. The result of the discussion was Featured article status lost. Please do not modify the page.

• Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. The recent major update was lengthy enough to merit some Inquisitor attention.
• Date added: June 18, 2011

(+1)

Support

1. Menkooroo 08:17, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

Object

1. The Clone
   • Why exactly is {{TCWRetcon}} being used for the article? My understanding was that it was meant for pre-TCW articles that have actual chronology issues, like Anakin Skywalker, Asajj Ventress, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the like, not just as a general tag to stick on TCW articles. Please clarify.
     • Basically the reason why I added the tag into the article is because of Even Piell's mediocre retcon death mentioned in the intro and in the bio itself. Unless, of course, you want me to remove the tag, I just felt it was necessary to insert the tag in the article. JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
       • Ah, okay. I see your point, but I still feel it wouldn't be necessary because Piell's canon conflict isn't directly related to Fives—Fives's article doesn't even mention that conflict, while it's necessary for Piell's to, so I think if used on Fives, {{TCWRetcon}} would be pointing to something that isn't outlined in the article. CC7567 ^(talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
   • "Fives continued his service in the 501st Legion and joined Rex and his men on the planet Umbara." It's up to you whether you want to include this pre-release Season Four info in the article, but if you do, it needs to get mentioned in the body with proper referencing. A question, though: does any source explicitly state that the video preview scenes with Fives and Rex are on Umbara, if that's the source you're drawing from?
     • I believe there was a minor trailer or a screenshot somewhere showing all the clones on Umbara, and Fives is seen standing next to Rex. I think this was it: [1]. I think I'm going to wait until I find a better, high quality image. JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • This is rather nit-picky, but instead of starting off the article body in the same manner as the intro, can you employ a little more variety, maybe? Maybe something like "CT-27-5555 was a clone trooper who was bred from Jango Fett to serve in the Grand Army of the Republic." Feel free to adjust it to however you like, but please try to lessen the redundancy.
     • Addressed JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
       • I still think it would be good to mentioned that he was "cloned" for service in the Grand Army before saying that he "served" in it. The final decision is up to you, but that's what I would suggest to be more thorough with his early life. CC7567 ^(talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
   • "Fives and Domino Squad trained within the planet Kamino's capital, Tipoca City. Within the city's military complex, Domino Squad was overseen by the Siniteen Sergeant Bric, who oversaw the clone cadets practice in combat simulations, which placed them head-to-head with battle droids." Please take a good look at this section. There are several minor errors that nevertheless should not be there.
     • Addressed JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • "Clone Commander Colt, an ARC trooper, was to watch the clone cadet's final combat simulator test. If one past the test, the troopers within the squad would be promoted to a clone trooper." Some of the possessive forms here and the plurality aren't matching up here. Please check and correct.
     • How's that?
       • "If one past the test, the troopers within the squad would be promoted to a clone trooper." I still see a strangely placed "past" ("passed" instead, maybe?), and there's still plural problems in the latter part of the sentence. CC7567 ^(talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
   • Defenders of the Republic pages 118 to 120 has a good deal of info about what happens between "Rookies" and "ARC Troopers." Please take another look at it and see what you can incorporate.
     • Thanks for pointing that out, CC. How's that? JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • "Once Fives and Echo told 99 about the suspected Confederate invasion of Kamino, 99 departed to the facility's weaponry room to gather weapons for the clone troopers. Soon after, Fives and Echo met with an ARC trooper in a docking bay": I believe between these two sentences, the battle had already started, so it would be more prudent to state that here rather than later, as it currently goes. Please see what you can do.
     • Addressed JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • Is there any image that might be more appropriate to the placement within "Citadel mission" besides File:EchoFivesARCarmor-TC.jpg? The only reason I ask is because the current image about Echo's and Fives' ARC trooper armor doesn't really match up with the article's plot. If not, that's fine, but it might be worth a look.
     • Meh, I try to avoid those Citadel episodes as much as I can. :P I could possibly ask JMAS for a new image. JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
       • I can help out if need be, since I have the iTunes versions; just let me know. CC7567 ^(talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
   • "Soon, however, Sobeck and a team of droids arrived, mounted on separate STAP speeders. The Citadel warden attacked Tarkin, but Tano killed Sobeck. Plo Koon then arrived on a LAAT/i gunship and rescued Fives and the team members. The group returned to Coruscant soon afterward." This part feels a bit rushed, and Koon's attack fleet doesn't even get mentioned. Can you provide more context here? What about the island rendezvous point?
     • How's that? JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • The P&T doesn't incorporate anything beyond "Rookies" and some supplementary material. Please take another look at the other episodes and see if there's anything you can do to expand this section.
     • Yeah, I am currently taking care of that. I haven't gotten to his P&T or add an equipment section. JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • Equipment section, maybe? I'm sure that there's a lot that can be said about his three distinct sets of armor, two of which currently aren't mentioned.
   • "Fives's clone designation number—CT-27-5555—was revealed in the episode's accompanying guide." If I remember correctly, he actually states his designation to Rex and Cody during the episode itself, when he first meets them. I'm not sure what you want to do with this, but if you want to keep it, please adjust for factual correctness.
     • I do remember this, but I was told otherwise by another user. I'll correct it. JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • Please source all of those episode dates—they aren't self-sourcing.
     • Addressed JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • Can anything be said of his appearance in LEGO Star Wars III in the Bts? Did he do anything that was notably different from "Rookies"? If you don't have the game, you can probably find a walk-through that will show the cutscenes on YouTube.
     • I do have the video game, and I'll take a look at it. JangFett ^(Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
   • There were a significant number of errors remaining throughout the article—mostly small, grammatical ones, but ones that I was very disappointed to find. I strongly encourage more thoroughness for all involved parties, because all of those errors could have been easily corrected if more time was taken to proofread and review. I really hope that this will not be a problem in the future. CC7567 ^(talk) 01:00, August 7, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

• .... JangFett ^(Talk) 06:52, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
• Sorry for not addressing your objections sooner, CC. I'll get to them soon. :) JangFett ^(Talk) 19:07, August 17, 2011 (UTC)
• Removed from Redux (and article stripped of FA status) per Meeting 44. CC7567 ^(talk) 02:45, September 11, 2011 (UTC)