Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Wilek Nereus

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Wilek Nereus

  • Nominated by:Andykatib 21:02, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I hope I did enough work on it.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 17:40, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Before anything else, sourcing is required throughout the entire article. CC7567 (talk) 21:08, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
    • I managed to source the whole article with all the sources that I used. But, I'm not very sure if it would need a powers and abilities section. What do you think? Andykatib 21:41, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
      • You also need to source the infobox and the succession box at the bottom. --Eyrezer 00:58, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
        • You oversourced the article completely. You only source a paragraph or a sentence if it is from a different source. Otherwise, you don't source a sentence if the paragraph itself with that sentence is from the same source—you source it at the end of the paragraph.
        • Bio- "[…]he had personally killed as trophies, and he liked to dispose those who got in his way by infecting them with various alien parasites.[3] He had several adipose louse eggs in his possession, considering the parasites to be potentially useful for disciplinary purposes. By 4 BBY, he had teeth from predators from seventeen worlds, including the Bakuran cratsch and the ketrann of Alk'lellish III. [3]" You see the two [3]? Only source if a statement comes from a different source. Otherwise, source it at the end of the paragraph, if it is from the same source. JangFett Talk 01:33, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
          • Thankyou very much for your advice. Now I understand how to source an article properly. I managed to deal with the sourcing bit but I can see that I will have to do a bit more work. I'll do my best to comply I promise. Thanks very much for your counsel. Andykatib 05:57, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
            • Much Better :) Now make sure you specify what source did the following paragraphs with sources: "[3][2][4]" came from. I see that you do this frequently with different paragraphs. If the content comes from one source, choose one of the sources and eliminate the rest.
            • "As an officer in the Imperial Navy, Nereus eventually became the captain of a cruiser.[1]In 1 ABY, Bakura was occupied by Imperial forces who sought access to its repulsorlift industry which was dominated by the Bakur RepulsorCorp. Due to the internal unrest amongst the Bakuran people, Imperial forces were able to quickly conquer the planet with minimal losses and resistance. Shortly afterwards, Nereus was appointed as governor which marked his first foray into politics." The ending part of this paragraph is missing a source. Or you forgot to move that source to the end of the paragraph. JangFett Talk 06:31, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
  2. From the Council Chambers:
    • His gender and species should be mentioned both in the intro and at the beginning of the bio.
    • Context needed on Bakur RepulsorCorp.
    • "Nereus's plan was to allow the Ssi-ruuk to capture Skywalker, only to have the trichoids hatch and begin multiplying and killing the Ssi-ruu went over to Skywalker's apartment near the spaceport.": This makes no sense. What are you trying to say here?
      • Managed to deal with points one and three. I also did some extra research on his early life and found out some more useful information. Andyaktib 05:51, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
    • A large portion of the P&T appears to have simply been copied and pasted directly from the bio. Two examples: "As with many Imperial civil servants, Nereus disliked dealing with aliens on equal terms and subscribed to the views of Human High Culture prevalent throughout the Imperial bureaucracy then." and "He had several adipose louse and olabrian trichoid eggs in his possession, considering the parasites to be potentially useful for disciplinary purposes." There are numerous other instances of this; please reword all of them so as to avoid repetition.
      • Done. I even reworded the introduction to emphasize the Belden family. Andykatib 06:18, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
    • The BTS needs expansion. The main thing is to include all sources and appearances (including "mention only"s), since there's not very many of them.
      • I managed to deal with the BTS and I think I might have dealt with point 4 by modifying the bio so that there are no repetitions. What do you think? Andykatib 21:11, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
        • The BTS looks good, but I still see some repetition between the P&T and the bio. Check items in the first and especially fourth paragraphs of the P&T. Also for future reference, it's best to note that you've addressed each objection separately under the respective objections rather than using one note for multiple objections. You can see an example of that from one of my previous GA noms here. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:08, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
    • Speaking of appearances and sources, The Essential Guide to Characters is listed in the references but not under sources. Is there a reason for this?
    • Addendum to the sourcing issues above: There's no need to provide multiple references for a single piece of info. Example: "His second-in-command Thanas relinquished his Imperial rank and defected to the Alliance.[3][2][4]" Pick one of those three refs and exterminate the others. Multiple refs are only necessary if you're dealing with speculation in the BTS or for controversial issues such as the Jedi Exile's gender.
    • One more sourcing issue: don't reference BTS info that is self-sourcing. Here's an example: "Wilek Nereus was first created by Kathy Tyers for The Truce at Bakura in 1994." The sentence itself clearly states the source—The Truce at Bakura—so references are unnecessary for that sentence.
      • I managed to deal with points seven and eight. I have to admit that I do oversouce on many occasions. Andykatib 22:17, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
    • I'll take a closer look once these are addressed. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:30, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. From the Council Chambers: (part 2)
    • "Protests occurred and only worsened after news of Orn Belden's death was leaked. [...] Worse, Organa was rescued from a rural retreat by Han Solo,": "Worse" is a bit repetitive here as it's used twice in three sentences. Can you change one?
      • Fixed it. Andykatib 08:52, 17th July 2009 (UTC)
    • "Luckily, Gaeriel was rescued by the local Imperial staff.": "Luckily" is POV, as not all sides would consider it lucky. Please reword.
      • Got to it. Andykatib 08:52, 17th July 2009 (UTC)
    • "It was then that Luke Skywalker arrived.": This reads more like a novel than an encyclopedic entry. Please rephrase.
      • Fixed it, thanks for pointing that out. Andykatib 08:52, 17th July 2009 (UTC)
    • "[...] but he lacked both the dignity and self-control. In keeping with his ideal of an Old Republic politician, Nereus let the Bakuran police quell riots as often as possible without deploying the garrison's stormtroopers.": This appears to be the last remaining instance of bio/P&T duplication. Please reword one of them.
      • Fixed it. Andykatib 08:46, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
    • Each article should be linked once in the intro, once in the infobox, and once in the body, upon the first mention in each. The intro and infobox are good, but I'm noticing quite a bit of overlinking in the body. I've removed a few excess links, but you should go through and check yourself.
      • I am a little bit confused by what you mean. Andykatib 08:46, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
        • What I mean is that upon the first mention of something (say, olabrian trichoids) in the body, it should be linked to. After that, it should not be linked to again for the rest of the article. With the example I gave, I count five links to it—one under "Imperial career", one under "An unworkable truce", one under "A desperate gamble", and two in the P&T. Only the first link should be kept; the other four should be removed. There are numerous other instances of this throughout the article. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 17:19, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
          • Got to it finally. Andykatib 07:47, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
    • Lastly, remember in the future that links should never be placed in quotes unless that is the article's only mention of the subject. I removed those links myself in my copyedit. I'll give the article a final look once these are addressed. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:48, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
  4. The Council's final report:
    • "By 4 BBY, he had teeth from predators from seventeen worlds": "From" is repetitive, please replace one.
      • Fixed it. Andykatib 05:13, 21st July 2009 (UTC)
    • "However, with Skywalker now in their hands, the Ssi-ruuk rescinded their secret deal with Nereus by launching a full scale attack on Bakura an hour later, striking at the orbital station that hovered over Bakura. However, Gaeriel was rescued by the local Imperial staff.": Two consecutive sentences start with "However"; can you reword one?
      • Got to it. Andykatib 05:13, 21st July 2009 (UTC)
    • "For a moment, it seemed that victory would be achieved with the vanquishing of the Ssi-ruuvi threat.": Is this sentence really necessary? It reads slightly like a novel, and "vanquishing" is repetitive with the beginning of the next section, which effectively begins by repeating the important part of this sentence. Consider removing it.
      • Fixed it. Replaced with the more appropriate term "neutralized" Andykatib 05:13, 21st July 2009 (UTC)
    • "You're infest us all!": This excerpt from the "A desperate gamble" section quote is grammatically incorrect; it should be "You'll infest us all!" If this error is also in the source, it needs to have a [sic] added; otherwise it should be corrected.
      • Got to it as well, my mistake. Andykatib 05:13, 21st July 2009 (UTC)
    • Looks good to me otherwise. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:40, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
      • Thankyou so much for your counsel and support. Do you want a Wookiee cookiee? Andykatib 05:13, 21st July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

  • Dammit, I was about to say the same before CC edit conflicted me. :P I'll give it a good review tomorrow. Before I do, I'd suggest you take a look at our GA guidelines and check the article conforms to it, as you've obviously missed out the sourcing idea. Good luck with what I believe is your first GAN. :) --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 21:10, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
  • Edit conflict here too on the same issue. :P I'll give it a close look later tonight. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:13, 9 July 2009 (UTC)

Vote to remove (AC only)

  1. ACvote I'm sorry, Andykatib, but this article is over 3,000 words and per Rule 17 at the top of this page, it exceeds the GAN word count limit. I encourage you to take this to the FAN, but it doesn't belong here. CC7567 (talk) 00:25, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Feel free to FA it, as CC said. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:27, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Per Chack and CC. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:28, 25 July 2009 (UTC)