Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Vylagos

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Vylagos

(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Oops. My apologies. Forgot to support. Kilson Likes PIE(The Bakery) 22:30, April 11, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Jinzler 20:54, April 25, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 15:21, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 07:52, May 3, 2011 (UTC)
  5. I chose my destiny. ~SavageBOB sig 15:40, May 4, 2011 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:36, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Return of the PIE
  • Don't bold the name in the body. That's against the layout guide.
  • You need to include the info in the last sentence of the Bio into the end of the intro.
  • You need to state that Vylagos is a male in both the intro and the body.
  • You also need to mention he's from Skako in the intro.
  • In the Bio, "...it was accidentally activated by the Galactic Republic's 313th Legion and Jedi Master Po Banadis, sending Confederate General Terrus, the 313th's clone troopers, and the Jedi Master off-world in a matter of seconds." How was the wormhole activated, did the Republic attack the facility or something? Give more context here.
  • In the bio, you might want to mention that Vargus is a clone.
  • After you object those, I'll re-review. Also, watch your grammar, I corrected a few mistakes. Kilson Likes PIE(The Bakery) 03:17, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
Cav
  • Is there an article for the planet that the 313th get transported to? If not, should one be created? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:07, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
    • Stub made. Bonslywizard Naboo (Send a transmission) 21:58, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
      • That article should be moved to a more IU-appropriate title. Specifically, the parenthetical descriptor should reflect an IU name or terminology, not the title of the OOU text. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:59, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
Jinzler
  • Page 146 of the source mentions that Vylagos made another invention that was used by the Separatists, so you need to add something on that. --Jinzler 21:39, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • In the "Biography" section, it currently mentions Ando Prime after the disappearance of the 313th is discussed, and it does not make it clear that Vylagos developed the device on Ando Prime and the 313th disappeared from Ando Prime. This needs to be clarified.
  • Also on page 146, Bandis says "Skakoans will do anything for money" when Vylagos is mentioned, suggesting that Vylagos is motivated my financial gain. I think you could construe something from this to add to the "Personality and traits" section.
  • Are you sure that the book states that Skako was a ecumenopolis? If not, you need to source that to something else.
  • As there are plenty of quotes available, you might want to consider adding one to the "Biography" section.
  • Page 44 reveals that Vylagos spent "many months" at the base on Ando Prime, this needs to be mentioned.
  • The BTS currently details how Vylagos can be encountered in the medic and recon strands of the novel, but unless I am mistaken, it doesn't currently mention how he can be encountered in the demolitions strand, when the clones encounter him on page 44. What do you think? --Jinzler 15:31, April 22, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nice work so far, this should be the final point from me: Page 44 mentions that Vylagos had been developing the device while under the protection of General Terrus. The article doesn't really make this clear at the moment, so I would like you to clarify this. --Jinzler 10:36, April 24, 2011 (UTC)
Moffship
  • You might want to mention that Vylagos aided Excelsior Company in the intro.
    • ...No I wouldn't. Vylagos only helps Excelsior Company in a certain number of story strands, not all of them, so putting that kind of info in the intro would be inappropriate.
      • Simply stating that Excelsior Company was sent to Ando Prime is not appropriate for the intro of this character. Stating that Vylagos interacted with Excelsior Company, on the other hand, would be.
        • Oh, now I understand what you meant. Better now, then? Bonslywizard Naboo (Send a transmission) 01:25, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
          • I probably could have been a bit clearer originally, and I apologize for that. There's just one more thing - is Vylagos interrogated by Excelsior Company regardless of what path is chosen? If so, I think a mention of that would be more appropriate than a generic "they encountered Vylagos." Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 20:51, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
            • Hey, no worries. Okay, so here's the thing. For every path that involves finding Vylagos, there are two other paths: either the main character screws up and Vylagos escapes or dies or whatever, or the main character gets Vylagos to be interrogated - so that's only half the time. The clones "encountering" Vylagos is really the best I could do. =/ Bonslywizard Naboo (Send a transmission) 21:21, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
              • Then it would probably be best to move the last sentence of the bio's first paragraph (or the second part of the sentence, for that matter) into the "assumption" section. That should be enough to avoid any confusion. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 21:26, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
  • "Before the wormhole creator could be perfected, however, it was accidentally activated by the Galactic Republic's 313th Legion and Jedi Master Po Bandis during a battle on the Mid Rim planet Ando Prime, where Vylagos had spent several months experimenting under the protection of Confederate General Terrus, sending Terrus, the 313th's clone troopers, and the Jedi Master off-world in a matter of seconds." - this sentence should be split up to establish Vylagos's presence on Ando Prime before you mention the battle.
  • Speaking of the battle, is there an article for it? I created a redlink for the time being.
  • Same thing for the "snow beast" mentioned in the BTS.
  • That's all for now. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 21:32, April 27, 2011 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • You never explain in the BTS why you chose the particular path that you did. What makes this path the most likely canon one? Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, May 2, 2011 (UTC)
    • Well, if anything happens to Vylagos (that is to say if he doesn't die before he does anything), this happens. I added a little something in the Bts. Thanks for your time! Bonslywizard Naboo (Send a transmission) 22:47, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:36, May 4, 2011 (UTC)