- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Unidentified planet 24 (Dilonexa system)
- Nominated by: Riffsyphon1024 09:36, October 31, 2011 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: As part of Wookieepedia's First Shed Scorcher
(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
- Good work, Riff. Nice to see you out doing articles. :) --Cal Jedi
(Personal Comm Channel) 18:43, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks Cal. I'm trying to retain a presence in some form, even as I might be preoccupied by RL events. -- Riffsyphon1024 21:47, November 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Now I need to get out and write the articles I said that I would write.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 02:49, November 13, 2011 (UTC) 
Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 19:25, November 16, 2011 (UTC)- ~Savage 14:40, November 18, 2011 (UTC)
- Fantastic work, Riff. NaruHina Talk 20:52, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:59, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 20:14, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
Object
From the Council Chambers:
Not even close to 250 words, and missing a lot of information from the shed scorcher's template article to boot.Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Monday, October 31, 2011, 15:30 UTC- Please specify what I might have missed. -- Riffsyphon1024 00:51, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- I think he's referring to the fact that one of the GA requirements is indeed "over 250 words". If this article doesn't meet that requirement, it needs to be taken to the CAN. 1358 (Talk) 00:58, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Yes, and per EJ below, this can reach 250 and thus should not be on CAN. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Sunday, November 6, 2011, 01:56 UTC
- Do give it another look now. -- Riffsyphon1024 03:16, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Yes, and per EJ below, this can reach 250 and thus should not be on CAN. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Sunday, November 6, 2011, 01:56 UTC
- I think he's referring to the fact that one of the GA requirements is indeed "over 250 words". If this article doesn't meet that requirement, it needs to be taken to the CAN. 1358 (Talk) 00:58, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Please specify what I might have missed. -- Riffsyphon1024 00:51, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
Still needs a "Description" section.Infobox-exclusive information is a no-no; the same goes for the intro. Every detail in the intro and/or infobox must be in the body as well.Unless I'm misreading it, the orbital position in the infobox is wrong.- Take care of these, and I may give it a full review. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Sunday, November 6, 2011, 03:22 UTC
- Have since corrected/added the necessary items needed for inclusion. -- Riffsyphon1024 04:12, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
The article for the first planet in the system has both a description and a history section. I believe you should add similar information for this article, which would allow you to meet the GA word count.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 01:03, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- And just to make sure it is not the exact same information as Dilonexa I, that section should be rewritten completely from scratch? I ask as this is an interesting case, in which the other 39 worlds will essentially have the same information, and the Shed-Scorcher infers that. -- Riffsyphon1024 01:10, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Yes, that's the whole idea of the shed scorcher: for several Wookieepedians to essentially rewrite the first article 38 different ways. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Sunday, November 6, 2011, 01:56 UTC
- That's what I was wondering. You guys have really created a mini-monster haven't you? ;) -- Riffsyphon1024 02:11, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- I went through the Atlas and triple-checked a few things. Quite extensive system history there now. -- Riffsyphon1024 03:16, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- I thought that the history section looked pretty good. But just for the record, (and for anyone else that looks at this as a sort of template for future Dilonexa articles) we're not supposed to have the whole history section filled up with stuff about the Centrality. It should have stuff about the planets. As stated in the Shed-Scorcher: "Soon an old acquaintance of his with whom NaruHina had shared many "YO"s and "OY"s with over the preceding years, "ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing", alerted him that in his inclusionism had been overzealous and that instead of an article on the history of this planet he had written a history of the Centrality, the planet's sector." Like I said, though, this one looks pretty good. Just wanted to make sure that it was out there. :) --Cal Jedi (Personal Comm Channel) 18:43, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
- That is essentially what I ended up writing. Because there is such little information about these planets themselves, the history has to be built up around it in the form of the surrounding system and sector's history. Now we just have to do this 30-something more times. -- Riffsyphon1024 21:47, November 12, 2011 (UTC)
- I thought that the history section looked pretty good. But just for the record, (and for anyone else that looks at this as a sort of template for future Dilonexa articles) we're not supposed to have the whole history section filled up with stuff about the Centrality. It should have stuff about the planets. As stated in the Shed-Scorcher: "Soon an old acquaintance of his with whom NaruHina had shared many "YO"s and "OY"s with over the preceding years, "ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing", alerted him that in his inclusionism had been overzealous and that instead of an article on the history of this planet he had written a history of the Centrality, the planet's sector." Like I said, though, this one looks pretty good. Just wanted to make sure that it was out there. :) --Cal Jedi
- I went through the Atlas and triple-checked a few things. Quite extensive system history there now. -- Riffsyphon1024 03:16, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- That's what I was wondering. You guys have really created a mini-monster haven't you? ;) -- Riffsyphon1024 02:11, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Yes, that's the whole idea of the shed scorcher: for several Wookieepedians to essentially rewrite the first article 38 different ways. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Sunday, November 6, 2011, 01:56 UTC
- And just to make sure it is not the exact same information as Dilonexa I, that section should be rewritten completely from scratch? I ask as this is an interesting case, in which the other 39 worlds will essentially have the same information, and the Shed-Scorcher infers that. -- Riffsyphon1024 01:10, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
"By 1,004 BBY, a toe of proclamation occurred out to the Centrality..." I am sorry, but I am not sure what this means. Could you either explain this to me or reword it so that it makes more sense? Other than this the article looks great.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:43, November 12, 2011 (UTC)
- In this case, according to the map cited, the region surrounding Centrality sits away from the main control of the Sith, save for a bleb of control that juts out and covers the Centrality. Thus a toe of proclamation. However, I understand the confusion and can try to reword it. -- Riffsyphon1024 23:04, November 12, 2011 (UTC)
- And reworded. -- Riffsyphon1024 23:09, November 12, 2011 (UTC)
- In this case, according to the map cited, the region surrounding Centrality sits away from the main control of the Sith, save for a bleb of control that juts out and covers the Centrality. Thus a toe of proclamation. However, I understand the confusion and can try to reword it. -- Riffsyphon1024 23:04, November 12, 2011 (UTC)
Ohay, someone actually wrote one.
The Slice was not a region of the Outer Rim. The planet is in an area where the two large regions overlap. Thanks for writing this! Great job.NaruHina Talk 23:23, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
- I went ahead and clarified this separation in the article. -- Riffsyphon1024 07:05, December 7, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
I think it's only fair to forewarn you that many a reviewer has a natural disinclination toward the use of the word "this" in articles, since it carries a certain OOU connotation, something that has been widely discussed across different article reviews over the past two years or so. As a result, we tend to try to avoid using it. I'm not quite as gung-ho on the idea as some, but given the steady precedent of not using it, it may be a good idea to try to reword this phrase a little bit to avoid its use here before someone else objects to it: "...this celestial body was located in a portion of the Outer Rim Territories"In addition to the previous objection, that should go for all further uses of the word throughout the article, where appropriate. I've attempted to reword where possible when I came across one.- Seems I got all of them. Thought there might have been another one in there somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:59, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
- Very nicely written. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:35, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
- "This" replaced in favor of "the". -- Riffsyphon1024 08:30, December 15, 2011 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:17, December 15, 2011 (UTC)