Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified admiral (Vallt's sector)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified admiral (Vallt's sector)

Nominated by: Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:42, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
Nomination comments: More Catalyst noms, yes.
WookieeProject (optional):

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Corellian Premier^MTFBWY 23:06, 11 February 2022 (UTC)
UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:45, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
—spookywilloww^talk 04:27, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:25, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
1358 ^(Talk) 15:18, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

The CP

Hello Editor, it looks like this sentence in the bio is duplicated: "Lieutenant Commander Orson Callan Krennic, going outside of the chain of command, came to the admiral for permission to launch an attack on Vallt, which had fallen in a Separatist–backed coup several months prior, to the admiral." Corellian Premier^MTFBWY 20:21, 5 February 2022 (UTC)
- Addressed Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:15, 7 February 2022 (UTC)

Luca

~~A disambiguation page for Unidentified admiral is needed.~~
- Done, located at Unidentified admiral (disambiguation) Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:21, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
  - It should actually be at Unidentified admiral, since disambiguation pages override redirects. LucaRoR ^(Talk) 09:38, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
    - Done Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:51, 17 March 2022 (UTC)
~~Per WP:DASH, galaxy-wide shoudln't use an ndash.~~
- Added normal dash Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:09, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
~~The last biography paragraph has a sentence that goes on for several lines without a full stop. Could you please reword it?~~
- Addressed Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:14, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
~~The last two biography pargraphs barely mention the admiral, I think you should wither cut them down a bit or explain how the admiral is relevant to those events.~~ LucaRoR ^(Talk) 07:53, 3 March 2022 (UTC)
- Thoughts? Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:14, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
  - Looks good, but it could use a paragraph break. LucaRoR ^(Talk) 09:39, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
    - Made sizes more equal Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:48, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
~~Tone suggestions:~~
- knew nothing about that -> knew nothing about it;
  - Did something slightly different, but good? Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:48, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
    - Perfect. LucaRoR ^(Talk) 20:03, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- although is preferred over though (or even though) when they are synonyms.
  - Addressed Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:50, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
- "During the mission, Krennic lied to the Ersos by claiming the mission, which proved to be a success and opened up the chance for Vallt to become a staging ground, had been approved by the highest levels of the Republic." This sentence could be split up to be easier to read. "During the mission, Krennic lied to the Ersos by claiming it had been approved by the highest levels of the Republic. The mission later proved to be a success and opened up the chance for Vallt to become a staging ground." LucaRoR ^(Talk) 09:38, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
  - Addressed Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:53, 17 March 2022 (UTC)

Spooky

~~With a cursory search, I don't see that Amedda's specified to be the Vice Chair in Catalyst. Would it be better to leave that as a pipelink to 'Vice Chancellor' since the novel uses that term?~~
~~It would be nice if the bio specified Vallt was a planet, as the intro does.~~—spookywilloww^talk 20:37, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
- Both done Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:24, 12 March 2022 (UTC)

Ayrehead

~~Should the coup not have its own article?~~ Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:05, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
- Always meant to make that page like a year ago, done Editoronthewiki (talk) 11:39, 7 April 2022 (UTC)

Ecks Dee

"To make sure Galen had not revealed details about naval efforts within Vallt's sector to the Separatist government, although Erso truthfully knew nothing about military affairs, the admiral allowed the attack, which was designed to give the world's pro-Republic legions a chance to regain control." This sentence is a bit awkward - particularly the clause about Erso's oblivion - and a run-on. Please see if you can split it up and/or reword for better flow.
- Better ? Editoronthewiki (talk) 11:14, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
~~I kind of rewrote your date note because it felt a bit confusing. See if you think it's okay now and if it's still appropriately sourced.~~
- Yeah still looks good Editoronthewiki (talk) 11:14, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
Reviewing note: only when hyphenating compound words should an endash be used. "Separatist" is just one word so "Separatist-backed" gets a normal hyphen. Same with "pro-Republic". 1358 ^(Talk) 16:15, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
- Oh did you already edit those to be corrected? Editoronthewiki (talk) 11:14, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
  - Yep, I got them in my copy-edit. 1358 ^(Talk) 15:18, 13 April 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 15:18, 13 April 2022 (UTC)