Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified Sith emissary

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Sith emissary

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Frankly, I liked this book. Plagueis327 (talk) 02:06, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Good job handling the objections. Winterz (talk) 21:55, December 23, 2012 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Nice job working through the objections. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:24, January 7, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:42, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 21:38, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:39, January 13, 2013 (UTC)
  7. Supreme Emperor (talk) 05:39, January 18, 2013 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:15, January 19, 2013 (UTC)

Object

  1. Don't worry, be happy
    • You must write in the article that he's force-sensitive (including in the P&a section).
      • Done.
    • The section History is not used for characters, switch it for "Biography", the respective layout form for characters.
      • Fixed.
    • You use "The Sith" way too much, try not to repeat it that much, especially in followed sentences (for example, you can go for "the Sith emissary").
      • Taken care of.
    • In the quote, Mandalore only says that the Sith (as in the Sith Order) betrayed him, I'm not sure if that quote is the best for the article, you have any other? Are you sure that there's an inidividual?
      • There is an individual, the only one Mandalore met as far as I know. Revan speaks to Canderous Ordo about him on page 148-149 of the novel. As for the quote Revan speaks of him when he tells Canderous the story of how the Mandalorian Wars came to be. Could do better depending on if para-phrasing the quote is allowed.
        • Does it say that he's a Sith Lord? Also I did a cut, which I thought was necessary to shorten it, in the first citation. Check it out.
          • The Old Republic: Revan does not, however The Essential Reader's Companion does.
    • It would be great if you could reduce the size of the intro ;)
      • Is it really needed. As far as I know the intro should summarize the article in as few words as possible, which I feel the intro does.
        • Then you must expand the body!
          • There really isn't any more to add. All I have written about him is from what Revan told Canderous, and all that's covered.
    • Context on Mandalore the Ultimate and the Mandalore's title.
    • It's good to have you back in this area of the Wookieepedia, keep them coming. Winterz (talk) 00:36, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
    • I really think you need some overall work in the article still, use commendable articles like these two (Meetra Surik's Jedi Master and Darth Wyyrlok (II) to guide you, especially in the P&t section.
      • Looked at them and added a change to the P&a section. Added some info to the article.
    • Remember to mention that he serves the Sith Empire in the body (with context on it too).
      • Done. Not sure how to context it all that's known of his service to the Empire is when he was chosen as the emissary to Mandalore.
    • I understand you removed some of my additions to the grammar, and though I know I'm not a master at it, the one I had was correct indeed Revan. "Their defeat of" is the same as "defeating the" but more grammatically suitable there, I think. Winterz (talk) 02:42, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
      • "Their defeat of" is still there, may have been changed by Jedi Kasra when he edited the article, but according to recent edits wasn't me, however it's still there. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 03:13, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
    • Let's do it this way, Revan, accompany me on this adventure to expand the body (will have to be for tomorrow though)! You must read the article as if you were a new guy, with only basic knowledge of Star Wars, then point out things you don't understand. Those things must be contextualized. Also I think it would be great if you could add what really happened in the Mandalorian Wars and how did the Sith (including the emissary) betray the Mandalorians. Winterz (talk) 03:36, December 19, 2012 (UTC)

Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 13:19, December 19, 2012 (UTC)

    • Okay first, he isn't simply a Sith Lord, as that sounds like if he was born with that title. He served as or achieved that title in the X faction. You should reword that in the bio.
      • Taken care of.
    • Secondly, you must clarify this part "to help in his search for his enemy's tomb", that makes it sound like if he was the emissary's enemy when he was in fact, the Sith Emperor's.
      • Taken care of.
    • In the P&a section, you must specifiy what a Sith Lord means, for instance read that section in this article, considering that he served both as the Emperor's emissary but also having one of the highest ranks in the Empire.
      • Also taken care of.
    • There's also a few objections above, which I don't think you noticed. Winterz (talk) 13:42, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
      • Should be taken care of, doesn't look like I missed any, unless you think the way I took care of them should be changed. Also added info about the Mandalorian Wars hope this helps. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 14:00, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
        • Well I didn't mean that much. Your context is too large and it redirects the reader from the Sith emissary story to the Mandalorian Wars'. Just say that Revan and his faction joined the war, turning the table and eventually defeating Mandalore, also leave that part from "Only as Mandalore (...) of their existance", which is pretty good. Do that, and that should be all from me. Winterz (talk) 21:12, December 23, 2012 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Does the intro quote directly pertain to this particular Sith? If not, it should be changed.
    • Yes.
      • Alright then. It just seemed somewhat vague to me. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:25, December 31, 2012 (UTC)
  • "Around 3,978 BBY the Sith Emperor sent this Sith Lord as an emissary to Mandalore in order to convince Mandalore the Ultimate to help them in their search for his Master's enemy's tomb." This is rather awkwardly worded. Whose Master? Who was the enemy? Why were they searching for his tomb? The same wording is present in the bio.
    • Taken care of, however it was never explained why they were looking for the tomb neither in the novel, nor in The Essential Reader's Companion.
  • In the bio, you mention that he retrieved remains, with no prior context to why he did this. I would imagine that this will be rectified, at least partially, by fixing the above objection, but it is still a problem.
    • Should be taken care of.
  • I'm seeing some linking issues. Go through the article and try to get what you missed.
    • Got them all I believe, can't seee anything that needs linked that isn't already. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 18:57, December 27, 2012 (UTC)
      • Is there an article for Revan fighting the Mandalore? IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:25, December 31, 2012 (UTC)
        • Yes, its about the full battle of Malachor V however not just that confrontation between Revan and Mandalore. Now linked. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 01:35, December 31, 2012 (UTC)
  • Fix these and I'll continue. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 04:23, December 26, 2012 (UTC)
  • No P&T section.
    • Reason for that is nothing is known about his traits or personality.
      • Not necessarily. Stuff like his skin being red goes in the P&T, to avoid having infobox-only info. Also, you can extrapolate some things from his actions. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 04:29, January 6, 2013 (UTC)
        • Ok added section. Should have enough info, let me know if you want more added, or if you want it re-worded.DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 04:40, January 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • "around the time prior to the Mandalorian Wars. Around 3,978" Double "around" in regards to time. Try to avoid this type of repetition.
    • Taken care of.
  • "Mandalore, Mandalore the Ultimate, the leader of the Mandalorians." There needs to be more context on all of this.
  • Fix these and I'll give it another look. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:10, January 3, 2013 (UTC)
Cav

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 01:15, January 19, 2013 (UTC)