Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified Mandalorian commander

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Mandalorian commander

• Nominated by: End0 da Baker
• Nomination comments: A lot of work from me and from Ruthless Xero (and all others who helped) has brought it a long way!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. Ruthless Xero 02:07, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Object

1. Naru's Shinigami Eye
   • Neither the body or the intro specifically says he dies while the infobox does. This needs to be stipulated.
   • Shouldn't this article be called Unidentified Mandalorian Commander? This is his title, not a name.
   • He was not "The Mandalorian Commander." There were others. All instances of this should be changed to reflect that.
   • Whats so special about this datapad? Why did Revan need to insert it in this swoop bike?
   • The intro needs great expansion. It is supposed to be a summary of the whole article and what happened to this man.
   • In the Bts, you should detail that Revan may not have been able to save the wookiee and the light/dark alternatives having to do with that.
   • That's my cursory look in all its glory. I'll look again after these are fixed. Eat plenty of apples. NaruHina ^Talk 09:05, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
2. Grunny's first look:
   • This is a conjecturally-titled article, so the title of the article should not appear at the start of the article or anywhere else.
     • Done NaruHina ^Talk 17:29, 21 March 2009 (UTC)
   • Nearly all the info in the intro isn't addressed in the article body: his sex, species, allegiance to the Neo-Crusaders, and the Jedi Civil War. There should be no info in the intro that isn't addressed in the article body. The intro should also be expanded.
   • The Bts needs to include that he first appeared in KotOR.
   • "The Commander also believed in reuniting the Mandalorian clans, indicated by his dialoge with Canderous Ordo, if he was present." The second half of this sentence is speculative, since it depends on whether or not Ordo was present. This should be removed, and the speculative part addressed in the Bts.
   • "His decision to attack only weaponless opponents after deactivating a cloaking device were seen as acts of cowardice by the Wookiees and Canderous Ordo, and his orders were even questioned by his own men." Is Canderous Ordo considering it an act of cowardice dependent on if he is present? If so it is the same as for the previous objection.
   • Revan needs context.
     • Done NaruHina ^Talk 17:29, 21 March 2009 (UTC)
   • The Jedi Civil War needs context.
     • Done NaruHina ^Talk 17:29, 21 March 2009 (UTC)
   • Star Map needs some explanation as to what it is.
     • Done NaruHina ^Talk 17:29, 21 March 2009 (UTC)
   • "This does not result in any alignment change." This may be confusing to those who haven't played the game, therefore explain a bit.
   • I'll take another look after you address these :). Grunny ^(Talk) 09:08, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
3. The article should be at whatever he's called in the game - when he's selected by the player - with {{nickname}}. He's probably in the strategy guide. BtS needs work. Whole thing needs expansion. Have a look at some other KotOR NPC GAs to get an idea. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 19:23, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
   • I took care of the naming issue of this NPC. Cylka^-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
4. Kilson's objections
   • I have not played the game in a year or two, but I do believe his men call him Mandalore on their datapads in the game. If this is true, then please change his name and address this in the article.
   • You should put in the intro about how he attack unarmed opponets and that Revan killed him during his search for the Star Forge. Overall, when your done the intro should be at least a good sized paragragh.
   • I know this dude only appears in the Shadowlands, so hence the large abudence shadows and overall blackness, but the main image is very dark and it's hard to see the guy. If you can find an image that's better quality, you should put it up, but if you can't it's fine.
     • I have uploaded a new image that is clearer. Cylka^-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
       • Much better, thank you. Kilson Likes PIE 1:39, 10 March 09 (UTC)
   • Address these and the previous objections properly and I will support it. The aricle has potential, and it's a lot better than half the stuff I've written. :) Kilson Likes PIE 23:33, 07 March 09 (UTC)
5. Cylka:
   • I don't believe that you can claim he is a Human since that is not stated anywhere in the game.
   • Nevertheless, he had been ordered to test the stealth field generators, and he followed the order to the letter. - Who ordered him to test the generators? Furthermore, this information needs to be introduced earlier in the article as a way to explain why they were there.
   • Revan and his companions drew the Mandalorian poachers out by unequipping their weapons and entering clearings marked with Wookiee corpses. - First, "unequipping" sounds too much like game mechanics. I would change it to something such as hiding or putting away their weapons. Second, this needs more context. You need to explain that Grrrwahrr told Revan that if the Mandalorians saw the group's weapons, they wouldn't show themselves.
   • It would be worthwhile to expand on what happened after Revan inserted the datapad into the swoop bike. This is after all the moment when the Commander shows up, and it should be detailed as to what happens.
   • In the P/T you could add in that he fought with both a melee weapon and a blaster, for example. Add in as much detail as you can.
   • I believe that you can expand a bit on the dialog between Canderous and the Commander.
   • You need to explain the second point in the Bts more clearly. First you need to state that this is in the game, and give a brief explanation about what it means to get light or dark side points in the game.
   • Please take care of these objections, and I'll look over the article again. Cylka^-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments

• I will review this article in the near future, but I would like to make one comment now. So far I have read of three requests to change the name of this article. I would advise not changing the name of the article, until the name of the NPC can actually be determined. Otherwise there are going to be a mass of broken redirects and a mess in the article. Cylka^-talk- 11:45, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
  • I have played through the quest, and his name appears as "Mandalorian Commander," however I have moved the article name to "Mandalorian commander" per the de-capitalization guidelines. The KotOR games actually capitalize almost every name, so you can't always go by that. He also retains the {{nickname}} since he is only one of many commanders. Cylka^-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Remove nomination (AgriCorps vote only)

1. Long-dead, in my opinion. Abandoned by nominator, defended by a user who seems already spread too thinly. Graestan^(Talk) 17:49, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
2. Per Grae. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 17:52, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
3. He gone. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:55, 8 April 2009 (UTC)