Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified Klatooinian outcast 1

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Klatooinian outcast 1

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. I can't have enough of Order of Outcasts. By my count, if this passes, it will be five GA's from the one short comic. Fe Nite (talk) 14:52, October 7, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 23:06, October 9, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:02, October 18, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 02:39, October 22, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 21:58, November 3, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:54, December 6, 2013 (UTC)
  7. Note that clothing does not count as equipment, so thus I removed that stuff from the equipment section. If only we had a set in stone Equipment section of the Layout Guide. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 05:05, December 6, 2013 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:37, January 9, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st
  • First of all, don't link in the bolded text in the intro.
    • No? Alright, done. I didn't know that.
      • However, you should still link to Klatooinian somewhere in the intro other than the bolded spot.
        • Okay.
  • "...and may of been something close to a second-in-command." This seems a tad like speculation and is uncertain. You could say that he had a leadership role or something along those lines.
    • How is that sounding now?
  • Intro should have some time context - here it is the Clone Wars.
    • How about that? Or should I add more?
  • Body - context on the Clone Wars
    • More or is that good?
      • I would say who it was between.
        • Okay.
  • In the intro, you refer to the LAAT as a Republic gunship, while the body has its name as the long form of the LAAT. You should be consistent on how you refer to it.
    • I wasn't sure if the full name for it was necessary for the intro, but I added it in now.
      • You can abbreviate it via pipelink to LAAT.
        • Oh, okay.
  • "Gaan however thought that his men opened fire without the signal..." You have no mention of them attacking the clones in retaliation here.
    • Not sure if I understood this, but how about now?
      • That's good.
  • "The Klatooinian and the others faced the clones,[1] but whether he survived or not is unknown. If he had survived though, he most likely would have escaped into the deserts with Gaan and Sah." You should cut the part about his undetermined fate out. Instead, just mention that he engaged the next clone wave. You can mention as a side note if you want that Gaan and Sah went into the desert.
    • Alright, a side not it is.
  • "It isn't known if he had succeeded in killing any of the clone troopers though." Once again, cut out the uncertainty here.
  • Good work. Nice to see you on the GAN page. 501st dogma(talk) 00:37, September 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll continue my review after I give it a copyedit, and after you complete the top objection. 501st dogma(talk) 23:23, September 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • I personally think that the intro could be shortened. Usually in intros you are not required to give context to most things, so you could take some out. Try to condense it a bit.
    • How is it now?
      • I think you should re-add the part about the missile taking out the gunship. To shorten it, kill context on the Clone Wars, and maybe the part about the planet being in the Outer Rim.
        • I can re-add the rocket launcher bit, and can remove the Clone Wars context, but as for the noting of of Ragmar V being in the Outer Rim, I've been noted to before that the planet's location should also be mentioned. So in that case, who to believe now? Or at least I did that with my last article in which case I believe it said to be required, or rather, someone else edited in if I didn't.
          • You can leave it in if you want to. Try to look through it once more and see if you can find anything to cut it down just a bit. As a side note, I would not use "turncoat" as a word to describe the clones, as they are not betraying the Republic, but the Jedi. 501st dogma(talk) 20:58, October 1, 2013 (UTC)
            • "Turncoat has" been omitted then. Anyways, tried to slice it down a bit. How does it look now? Too much? Too little? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:39, October 2, 2013 (UTC)
              • That'll do. 501st dogma(talk) 19:26, October 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Article for the settlement?
    • None that exists, oddly. Should I link it anyways then and just leave it as a redlink and fill it or let someone else fill it in later?
      • Link to it, even if it doesn't exist. You can't leave it as a redlink though, as it is in the intro. 501st dogma(talk) 18:02, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
        • Eh, I just made it a page.
  • Also, in the intro, it sounds like there are more than one Jedi. Could you maybe clarify that there is only one?
    • How about that?
  • After Order 66 happens, is Gaan still in the street? It's confusing because he is suddenly talking to the Klat, who is on the rooftop.
    • Tried to clear it up. The Klat is calling from the rooftop during the scene, pointing in the general direction of the clones.
  • The second and third sentences of the P&T, first paragraph, seem very similar. Perhaps you should take one of them out?
    • Done.
  • "...perhaps indicating that they were both members of a Klatooinian subspecies." Unless a source says that they were from a subspecies, I wouldn't put that in the P&T. If you want to keep it, you can put a note in the BtS. 501st dogma(talk) 00:08, September 27, 2013 (UTC)
    • How does it look now? -Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:06, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
      • Did the Klatooinians in TPM have only three digits as well? 501st dogma(talk) 16:18, September 29, 2013 (UTC)
        • Good point...
  • "The Klatooinian took a Rodian, a Bith, and a human female to the roof of a building and from there waited for Gaan's signal to fire." Aren't all of the other pariahs supposed to be on the roof? Why do you only mention him taking these three up? Or are these the ones on the same roof as him?
    • Just the same roof as him. I've reworded it now so that it explains this, as well as where the building was in accordance to Gaan, as it would make more sense then that the Klat was in a building close enough that where he could shout to Gaan from a roof and be able to be heard over blaster fire.
  • Mention of eye and skin color should be added to P&T. 501st dogma(talk) 00:21, October 7, 2013 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • First off, you don't need spaces in your infobox.
    • Removed them. THe spacing just looks better when editing so not everything looks crammed. I should probably remember to remove them when done though, though...
  • What do you mean by outcasts? Outcasts from what?
    • Never explained. Society maybe. They're called the Order of Outcasts, and Gaan refers to themselves as outcasts, and then calls Joc one after O66.
  • "Human" should be capitalized.
    • Done.
  • Article for the skirmish?
    • It has been linked.
  • "The pariahs gathered to make a stand as a sign of protest to the Republic" Protesting what exactly?
    • Again it's never revealed. Republic Arrives. Gaan says "Ew, lets stand up and fight 'em." Hilarity ensues. There's also really no motive for him wanting to kill the Jedi. He just wants too. Anyways, I removed the word protest anyways, and just replaced it with "their own reasons", because it is never revealed why the disliked the Republic.
  • Linking should definitely be improved. Always be sure to check everything.
    • I'll keep looking. I generally forget that's a lot of articles on here for things that otherwise simple.
  • I'm not really seeing anything about a "protest" in the body.
    • Used Protest sort of generically, as they were making a stand against the republic. Why? Lord knows. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:01, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Take care of these and I'll give it another look. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:11, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Because this is one of your first nominations, I'm going to be raising objections to things that I would normally fix in a copy-edit/review (see "Sofixit") so that you can keep an eye out for them in your other articles, as well as in the future.
  • Please take note of the policy on punctuation in image captions, and adjust the article as appropriate.
    • Okay
  • Also, please take note of WP:DASH and adjust the article where appropriate. (In the intro, em dashes do not require spaces around them; also, please make sure to use the correct dashes instead of the double hyphen, "--," in the quotes.)
    • So even if the double hyphen was used in the exact quote in the book, I should still use a normal dash? Regardless of how the original quote was written?
      • Yes, that's proper and allowed. CC7567 (talk) 19:30, October 20, 2013 (UTC)
  • For any conjecturally titled articles (such as this one), the infobox name needs to reflect exactly what the article is titled. I'm having trouble finding the policy page regarding this, but I'll link it when I do.
    • Well I'll change it anyways. I sorta forgot about this actually. But even the "1" then?
      • Yeah, it's required for consistency. CC7567 (talk) 19:30, October 20, 2013 (UTC)
  • I realize that other users have already raised objections regarding linking, but I wanted to give you the chance to look over the article again and see if there are any more linking issues, whether for articles that need to be linked or articles that are incorrectly linked more than once (see the linking policy). A useful tool for linking is using your Internet browser's "find" function (CTRL + F on most browsers) to check if an article is properly linked the first time it is mentioned, and then not linked after that. Again, this is just to encourage you to double-check the article; I'll go through specific instances when I review the article in full.
  • I'll do a full copy-edit and review of the article once these preliminary objections are addressed. CC7567 (talk) 19:03, October 20, 2013 (UTC)
    • You might have t let me know when enough is enough. I did find a few more to link on another comb-through, but there's probably more. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:49, October 30, 2013 (UTC)
Hang me for a sucker
  • "He was still there by 19 BBY, the final year of the Clone Wars, a war that had begun during 22 BBY on the Outer Rim world of Geonosis, set between the Republic and a band of rogue star systems known as the Confederacy of Independent Systems." - Detail on Geonosis is extraneous. You need only mention that it is a pan-galactic conflict and the combatants.
    • Cut it down a bit and spread it a bit, how does it look now?
  • "as opposed to the more commonly sighted Original trilogy Klatooinians who all had five digits on their hands." - This is too broad to be sufficiently self-sourcing. Please cite the films. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 22:31, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
Attack II
  • Not an objection, but please note that outcast and Droid Army are actually disambiguation pages for other articles, which should not be linked to in the IU portion of an article, so I've removed/adjusted the links to them. Please keep this in mind in the future; articles should be checked before being linked to. (The same goes for outpost, which is actually an article for a starship, and traitor, which is an NJO novel.)
    • Heh, noted that NJO novel a bit earlier I think for something else. For Outcast, well, I thought linking to disamb pages were okay, but I guess not. Will keep that in mind then. Never did check outpost though, whoops...
  • Also, fire is an article for an actual fire. You can link laser instead, if that's what you're looking for.
    • Yah, laser I think would work in this use.
  • It seems like the battle of Ragmar V needs to be linked earlier in the article, when shots start to fire, because that article refers to the conflict between San, the clones, and the outcasts. Please rectify.
    • Whoops, you're right. It does seem to start as soon as shots go off.
      • Please check this; I'm not seeing a change. CC7567 (talk) 18:23, November 3, 2013 (UTC)
        • Whoops. How about now? Linked to where Remy opens fire though, and not the missile launcher. The missile didn't really incite a counter attack, as they just sorta met and talked in the streets: "Hey buddy, you sank my battleship!" "Tough nubs." So linked it to when Remy opened fire instead. I don't know what you were thinking in that regard, or whether what your opinion on "first shots" was, but there. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:56, November 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • For the caption for the P&T quote, it would be worth mentioning that the Klatooinian is one of Gaan's "men," to make sure that the quote is relevant to the article's subject.
    • Errr..... How's that?
  • "during his lifetime and during the fight with Remy's men": this is a bit redundant because there's some overlap in terms of chronology. Please choose one "during" to use, or otherwise reword this somehow.
  • "albeit with his last missile": is this necessary to mention? It seems like it would be more relevant to mention this in the Biography; i.e. after he destroyed the gunship, he was "out of missiles" or something better.
    • For both of these, how about now? Regarding the missile, the other Klat just sorta noted that it was the last missile they had. SO they knew they weren't going to have any more, and then the launcher never appeared again.
  • "There has been no official confirmation as of yet whether or not the three-digit Klatooinians are a subspecies." Is there actual canonical evidence (besides the visual inconsistency) to indicate that the three-digit ones might be a subspecies? If there isn't, I would ask that this be removed—I realize that yes, there hasn't been any official word on this, but the assumption that the inconsistency is due to the existence of a subspecies (and that the inconsistency isn't simply an error—a widespread inconsistency, but still an inconsistency at that) is a bit speculative. Does that make sense?
    • It does.
  • In what way, exactly, is this guy a criminal? The infobox treats him as a criminal (by using the criminal character infobox), and he's listed in the categories as a criminal, but the text of the article doesn't seem to indicate that he's taken part in any wrongdoing. Please clarify.
    • It's somewhat generic, under the fact that he was ambiguously an outcast, hence the name Order of Outcasts. It is speculative, however, I'll admit. Secondly, other than the fact outcast appears to double as having done something criminal to become an outpost, but Gaan's article is also using the criminal infobox. I think it's just something generic.
  • It would be worth noting the release date of The Order of Outcasts in the Bts.
    • Ok
  • Please take a look at the changes (linking and otherwise) that I made during my copy-edit. A useful tool that can be used to rectify overlinking is the "Highlight duplicate links in articles" tool, which you can activate in your Preferences (after you activate it, you can visit any article, and duplicate links will be bordered in red). If you have any questions about the changes I made, I'd be happy to explain them to you. Good work—I'll support once these objections are fixed. CC7567 (talk) 21:28, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • The copy-edit has offered plenty of insight. I'll try to use it as a guide for my other articles then, probably the Rodian outcast first as he's relatable to this character. And I've activated the preference now to keep an eye out for such double linking. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 22:18, November 1, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 10:37, January 9, 2014 (UTC)