- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Tucker
- Nominated by: --Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:02, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: An occasionally clone, ca. 450 words.
(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
- Kreivi Wolter 18:23, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
Object
- Fett
Intro is still too similiar to Axe. Mind rewriting some of it?- Better ?
The first three paragraphs of his bio are very similiar, or better yet, exactly the same as Axe. Please rewrite them.- Better ?
"Soon, Tucker was under attack under a bunch Vulture droids and he was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." "a bunch" is too colloquial. Rephrase.- Changed, to a group.
Lee, I'm still seeing an resemblance to Axe. You can rewrite Tucker's bio in your own words instead of copying from the Axe article. I know Tucker had a small role, and his role was similiar to that of Axe's, however, copying an article is unprofessional and frowned upon. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask. Once you're done with rewriting sections within Tucker's bio, I'll give it a copyedit and list objections if needed.JangFett Talk 05:11, 23 August 2009 (UTC)- It is now better ? If not contact me. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:49, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
- Minor expanding
At least one quote?- Don't have them in English.
- Are you sure? I haven't saw the episode for a while, but I do remember that all clones of Blue Squadron reported to Ahsoka before they launched their attack.--Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Well, the problem is that i have the quotes only in German and not in English. So i need them in English, because a translation would not be correct.
- I see. Hopefully someone will add them in future.--Kreivi Wolter 18:23, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Well, the problem is that i have the quotes only in German and not in English. So i need them in English, because a translation would not be correct.
- Are you sure? I haven't saw the episode for a while, but I do remember that all clones of Blue Squadron reported to Ahsoka before they launched their attack.--Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Don't have them in English.
- "
However he was overwhelmed by the mass of Vulture droids during the battle of Ryloth and killed." This just repeat the info given in biography. It should be rewrite to something like "However, he wasn't able to..." or so on.--Kreivi Wolter 05:40, 27 August 2009 (UTC)- Fixed.
Techno Union Foreman Emir???--Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)- Removed emir. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:19, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:22, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
- Attack of the Clone
For starts, as I've maintained for months now, there is absolutely no way to tell which clones died in the episode, which is what you have his death sourced to, besides Axe. This is not the first time I've had to tell you to "make sure that the information you provide is properly attributable to your sources."CC7567 (talk) 01:34, 31 August 2009 (UTC)- Sorry, CC. Corrected.--Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- You've done nothing about this, there are still mentions of his "death" in the article. —Unsigned comment by NaruHina (talk • contribs)
- CC in the episode guide it stands that he is killed. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:36, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- Ahsoka's squadron starts to become overwhelmed. Tucker's fighter is blown away by droid fighters. Here is the source. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:39, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- CC in the episode guide it stands that he is killed. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:36, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- You've done nothing about this, there are still mentions of his "death" in the article. —Unsigned comment by NaruHina (talk • contribs)
- Sorry, CC. Corrected.--Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- "My Name is O'Malley!"
"He served in in Blue Squadron, a Republic starfighter unit led , using the callsign "Blue Five" and participated in the Battle of Ryloth around 22 BBY." After I changed the latter part, adding a comma, I made this more obvious but the sentence cut at "led."- Fixed.
Overlinking and underlinking.- Fixed.
"the leading cruiser of the blockade" move this to when you give context on Tuuk, to extrapolate why they were specifically going after his ship.- Fixed.
No mention is made of the Republic until the final paragraph of the Bio. This should be moved to when you talk about clone troopers.- Fixed.
"Tano finally obeyed" Why did she obey?There is no mention of the Separatist reinfocements in the Bio.The image doesn't say which fighter is Tucker's."However, he wasn't able to defeat the mass of Vulture droids during the battle of Ryloth and was overwhelmed and killed." Double "and." As well, this is choppy.NaruHina Talk
03:11, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- Fixed.
- This is still poorly worded, but I won't fix it because this is another reference to his death.
- Fixed.
- This is still poorly worded, but I won't fix it because this is another reference to his death.
- Fixed.
- Think I get them all. Thanks for the review. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
- Fett will look again.
Lee, I'm still not satisfied with this article because it still completely resembles Axe. However, I'll give it another review.You must include that Tucker was "Born on Kamino" in both the intro and bio.- Fixed.
Lee, please read the third and forth paragraphs in the bio. You mention Skywalker and Yularen ordered Blue Squadron to retreat two times. This is the result from copying from another article. Please go back and correct this.- Fixed.
- Still remains.
- They ordered her two times to retreat.
- However, they sound similiar. I don't believe that this was your first intention to do this, Lee. I'm still considering that this is the result from the copying/paste. Please go back and try to either rephrase the sentence in the forth paragraph, or remove it. JangFett Talk 11:44, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
- Fixed.
- However, they sound similiar. I don't believe that this was your first intention to do this, Lee. I'm still considering that this is the result from the copying/paste. Please go back and try to either rephrase the sentence in the forth paragraph, or remove it. JangFett Talk 11:44, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
- They ordered her two times to retreat.
- Still remains.
- Fixed.
"Tano finally obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Resolute, as more Separatist fire attacked the Republic Venator-class Star Destroyers." Finally obeyed? While you did not mention that Ahsoka disobeyed previously, "Finally" doesn't work here.- Fixed.
- "Tano obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Star Destroyer." Quite confusing. While "and" is repetitive in this awkwardly phrased sentence, you are adding too much of Ahsoka's poi than the general squadron. Due to Tucker being a relativity unknown character during the space battle, you should just state "Tano obeyed, and the squadron..." or something similiar, in your own words of course.
- Fixed.
- "Tano obeyed this time, she and her squadron turning back toward the Star Destroyer." Obeyed this time? Sounds like she is completely disobedient. While she did not obey the order to retreat the first time, she did the second time. However, the way you stated it makes it sounds too factually incorrect. Please remove this short choppy sentence and mention that she obeyed, but not say "this time".
- Fixed.
- "Tano obeyed this time, she and her squadron turning back toward the Star Destroyer." Obeyed this time? Sounds like she is completely disobedient. While she did not obey the order to retreat the first time, she did the second time. However, the way you stated it makes it sounds too factually incorrect. Please remove this short choppy sentence and mention that she obeyed, but not say "this time".
- Fixed.
- "Tano obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Star Destroyer." Quite confusing. While "and" is repetitive in this awkwardly phrased sentence, you are adding too much of Ahsoka's poi than the general squadron. Due to Tucker being a relativity unknown character during the space battle, you should just state "Tano obeyed, and the squadron..." or something similiar, in your own words of course.
- Fixed.
"Blue Squadron was then at, seeing that the Republic forces had no change, tacked by a group Vulture droids and he was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." Improper English, please reword this sentence.- Fixed.
" As more Vulture droid fire attacked the Republic Venator-class Star Destroyers, Blue Squadron was attacked by a group Vulture droids and Tucker was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." "Vulture droid" is repetitive. Please, Lee, double check and reread your paragraphs. I'm still seeing a repetition of already mentioned facts, such as: "Blue squadron under attack by Vulture droids." and "Skywalker and Yularen ordered Blue squadron to retreat." Please double check. Also, it is unclear to how many Vulture droid groups there were. You mention one group attacking the Star Destroyers and another attacking Blue squadron.- Fixed.
- Still remains, Lee. It sounds like they told Ahsoka to retreat once, and then later in the battle, they tell her again. "Yularen and Skywalker ordered Blue Squadron another time" This is factually incorrect.
- Fixed.
- Still remains, Lee. It sounds like they told Ahsoka to retreat once, and then later in the battle, they tell her again. "Yularen and Skywalker ordered Blue Squadron another time" This is factually incorrect.
- Fixed.
- Fixed.
P&T-"Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids that opened fire on them during the Battle of Ryloth." "that opened fire?" "On them?" Please clarify. Who opened fire on what and who is "them?"- "Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids, which opened fire on the squadron during the Battle of Ryloth." I understand that he was unable to escape death, however, after "a mass of Vulture droids," the ending of the sentence is rather confusing. "Which" needs to be replaced.
- Fixed.
- "Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids, which opened fire on the squadron during the Battle of Ryloth." I understand that he was unable to escape death, however, after "a mass of Vulture droids," the ending of the sentence is rather confusing. "Which" needs to be replaced.
The entire BtS is rather confusing. Please rephrase the entire paragraph. You should mention "Tucker was first featured in Storm over Ryloth," rather than beginning the BtS with the series name.- Fixed.
- Still remains.
- Fixed.
- Still remains.
- Fixed.
- More to come.
- Thanks for the review. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 07:50, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
- They could be captured. Or dead. Or captured and dead. GASP! Or captured AND dead!
That Tano retreated only after her squadmates, and Tucker's, were killed is important, it should be included. As the sentence stands now, it is also a double "and."Not really relevant to Tucker.- It's relevant to Tucker because his squadmates died. Perhaps this being half the motive for Tano leaving is not but that they died is, it should get at the very least receive a small mention.
- Should be included now.
- It's relevant to Tucker because his squadmates died. Perhaps this being half the motive for Tano leaving is not but that they died is, it should get at the very least receive a small mention.
"Soon, more Munificent-class frigates as reinforcements joined Tuuk's blockade, neutralizing Blue Squadron's attack run." This reads very awkwardly.- Fixed.
"After the Republic force had been caught in a trap..." What trap?"Blue Squadron was attacked by a group Vulture droids and Tucker was shot down..." The sentence before this establishes that Blue Squadron was attacked. The sentence here is just a restating of the sentence prior, actually. Rephrase.- Fixed.
There is a skip between the second and third paragraphs of the bio. The second states that Blue was attacked by Vulture droids, it then jumps to when they are approaching the enemy flagship. Fill in the blank.- That's being take care of right now, Naru. Per my objection above. JangFett Talk 23:51, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
- The jump still remains and I don't see an objection for this above. NaruHina Talk 02:05, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
- Should be taken care of. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:38, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
- The jump still remains and I don't see an objection for this above. NaruHina Talk
- That's being take care of right now, Naru. Per my objection above. JangFett Talk 23:51, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
- "While Blue Squadron approached Confederate Captain Mar Tuuk's command ship, the flagship of the blockade." What's the "while" for? NaruHina Talk 12:22, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
- Removed. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:58, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
- "Don't Ever Be Alone." "He's making that wierd voice again!" NaruHina Talk 05:36, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
- The Grand Master
"who served in the Grand Army of the Republic Navy". The GAR and Republic Navy were two completely separate military forces that simply worked together, so he can't be a part of the "GAR Navy".- Fixed.
- You fixed it in the intro, but not the bio.
- Fixed.
- You fixed it in the intro, but not the bio.
- Fixed.
- In the intro, you don't say how or why Tucker was killed. Did Tano disobey her orders? Did they just not get to safety quick enough?
- Fixed.
- Now it sounds like Tano disobeyed originally, Tucker was killed, and then she obeyed. Is this what happened? Even if so, it should be worded more clearly.
- Clarified.
- "after declining her superiors' request, Tucker was killed"... More grammar problems: in this case, your "Her" would technically be refering to Tucker, which is incorrect, as Tucker is male. Once again, this is something I would normally fix myself, but it's not the job of the AC to fix your english for you. Please continue working on this and be very careful with your grammar.
- That wasn't from me.
- I don't care who it was from; the matter is still not fixed. Now all you've done is make it sound like Tano is male.
- That wasn't from me.
- "after declining her superiors' request, Tucker was killed"... More grammar problems: in this case, your "Her" would technically be refering to Tucker, which is incorrect, as Tucker is male. Once again, this is something I would normally fix myself, but it's not the job of the AC to fix your english for you. Please continue working on this and be very careful with your grammar.
- Clarified.
- Now it sounds like Tano disobeyed originally, Tucker was killed, and then she obeyed. Is this what happened? Even if so, it should be worded more clearly.
- Fixed.
Are you sure your linking to the prime clone belongs where it is?- The link wasn't from me and I removed it.
"a starfighter squadron in the Republic's clone navy" The way I understand it, the Republic Navy was for all people serving in the Republic Navy, it is not exclusive to clones.- Fixed.
- "to allow the ground forces to land, assist the starved Twi'leks..." What ground forces? What starved Twi'leks? You've mentioned neither of these before.
- Added some contect.
- That doesn't resolve the issue. What Twi'leks? You've never mentioned any starving Twi'lek's before. This seems like it's randomly thrown in, especially since you never mention them again. What Republic ground forces? You've never mentioned these ground forces before. This also seems like it was randomly thrown in for no reason. I don't necessarily want you to remove this, but the Twi'leks and ground forces need to be mentioned sooner, so that people know what you're talking about here.
- The Twi'les were mentioned and it is the first mention of the ground force. I don't know why they should be mentinoed earlier.
- You say "to allow the Republic ground forces to land, assist the starved Twi'leks on Ryloth, and depose Tambor". What Twi'lek's? The reader doesn't know anything about any starving Twi'leks. What ground forces? Why are there ground forces? The reader doesn't know anything about "the ground forces". These both seem irrelevant and random because you have not mentioned them before.
- Removed the.
- Are the Republic ground forces supposed to be the ones to free the Twi'leks and depose Tambor? If so, please make this clearer, as right now it sounds like these were all part of Tucker's tasks.
- Fixed.
- Again, please check your grammar & tense.
- Fixed.
- Are the Republic ground forces supposed to be the ones to free the Twi'leks and depose Tambor? If so, please make this clearer, as right now it sounds like these were all part of Tucker's tasks.
- Removed the.
- You say "to allow the Republic ground forces to land, assist the starved Twi'leks on Ryloth, and depose Tambor". What Twi'lek's? The reader doesn't know anything about any starving Twi'leks. What ground forces? Why are there ground forces? The reader doesn't know anything about "the ground forces". These both seem irrelevant and random because you have not mentioned them before.
- The Twi'les were mentioned and it is the first mention of the ground force. I don't know why they should be mentinoed earlier.
- That doesn't resolve the issue. What Twi'leks? You've never mentioned any starving Twi'lek's before. This seems like it's randomly thrown in, especially since you never mention them again. What Republic ground forces? You've never mentioned these ground forces before. This also seems like it was randomly thrown in for no reason. I don't necessarily want you to remove this, but the Twi'leks and ground forces need to be mentioned sooner, so that people know what you're talking about here.
- Added some contect.
- You go from Blue Squadron being confronted by Vulture Droids to suddenly approaching Mar Tuuk's ship. What happened? Did they defeat the droids?
- Fixed.
- You make it sound like they attacked the Vultures before moving to Tuuk's ship, whereas I believe their mission was only to attack Tuuk's ship. (Changing your use of the word "confronted" could probably fix this.)
- (Hopefully) adressed.
- Now all you've done is switch tenses to present tense.
- Fixed.
- This remains.
- Fixed.
- You have still not made any changes here.
- Fixed.
- This remains.
- Fixed.
- Now all you've done is switch tenses to present tense.
- (Hopefully) adressed.
- You make it sound like they attacked the Vultures before moving to Tuuk's ship, whereas I believe their mission was only to attack Tuuk's ship. (Changing your use of the word "confronted" could probably fix this.)
- Fixed.
- The end of the bio isn't very clear. Was Tucker shot down on his way back to the Republic capital ships, or was he shot down after he had already reached them?
- Hopefully clarified.
- "On the way to the enemy flagship"? Lee, you just said they are on their way back to the Republic capital ships, or maybe they'd already gotten back (which is what I wanted you to clarify to begin with), now you're telling me they're on their way to the enemy flagship?
- Better?--Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:57, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
- Yes, but you've now changed the meaning. I think what you have now is correct, but please check and make sure that they were on their way to the Republic flagship when Tucker was killed.
- Fixed.
- Check your grammar please. Also please check your change to the P&T. Where does it say that he was trained to pilot "Republic starfighters? How do you know that he was trained to pilot all of these in general, and not just the V-19?
- Fixed.
- This has done nothing to fix either problem. (The first being grammar for Tucker's death in the bio, the second being: what source says Tucker can pilot "Republic starfighters" in general? How do you know it's not just the V-19?)
- Fixed.
- Check your grammar please. Also please check your change to the P&T. Where does it say that he was trained to pilot "Republic starfighters? How do you know that he was trained to pilot all of these in general, and not just the V-19?
- Fixed.
- Yes, but you've now changed the meaning. I think what you have now is correct, but please check and make sure that they were on their way to the Republic flagship when Tucker was killed.
- Better?--Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:57, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
- "On the way to the enemy flagship"? Lee, you just said they are on their way back to the Republic capital ships, or maybe they'd already gotten back (which is what I wanted you to clarify to begin with), now you're telling me they're on their way to the enemy flagship?
- Hopefully clarified.
No quotes available? If none directly realted to Tucker, then maybe one of Tano addressing Blue Squadron going into the battle? (In wich case she would be addressing Tucker)- I asked JMAS.
- Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 20:14, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:02, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
- I'll check the episode and fix the rest tomorrow. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:31, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
- Checked and he was shot down while on the way to the enemy flagship so I removed the false information. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:21, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
- I'll check the episode and fix the rest tomorrow. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:31, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:02, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
- More fixes
- Sorry for the confusion, Lee. However, they're some more issues that should be corrected.
"After other fighter squadrons took over the fight with the droids, Blue Squadron approached Confederate Captain Mar Tuuk's command ship, the flagship of the blockade." What "other fighter squadrons"? Blue Squadron was the only squadron dispatched to destroy the blockade.- No Jang, there were other squadrons.
- "Squadron" and "group of fighters" are different. Blue Squadron, as a whole, was the only squadron out their during the Battle of Ryloth. Are you confused with "Group Two" leader or Ahsoka's group of fighters? All of them are part of Blue Squadron.
- Fixed.
- "Squadron" and "group of fighters" are different. Blue Squadron, as a whole, was the only squadron out their during the Battle of Ryloth. Are you confused with "Group Two" leader or Ahsoka's group of fighters? All of them are part of Blue Squadron.
- No Jang, there were other squadrons.
- Your P&T needs some work. I realize that this falls under {{SoFixIt}}; however, please read this sentence: "Tucker was a clone trooper pilot that flew a V-19 Torrent starfighter as Blue Five of Blue Squadron, to which he was assigned." I see some improper formatting. Furthermore, does this really need to be in the P&T?
- That was from Naru not from me and I removed it.
- "Tucker was a clone trooper pilot trained to fly a V-19 Torrent starfighter." Just a Torrent starfighter? I do believe you should leave that bit out because it looks as if he just knows how to fly a V-19.
- Chnaged.
- I suggest that you omit the entire sentence. You can say something about this piloting abilites; however, please connect it with the other P&T sentence.
- Changed.
- I suggest that you omit the entire sentence. You can say something about this piloting abilites; however, please connect it with the other P&T sentence.
- Chnaged.
- "Tucker was a clone trooper pilot trained to fly a V-19 Torrent starfighter." Just a Torrent starfighter? I do believe you should leave that bit out because it looks as if he just knows how to fly a V-19.
- That was from Naru not from me and I removed it.
- JangFett (Talk) 17:31, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
- No need to apologize. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:36, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
Comments
- Lee, before I begin, I would like to know why you copied nearly the entire Axe article. I'm seeing you replaced "Axe" with "Tucker" for the most part. JangFett Talk 23:03, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
- First, I didn't copied the article. I took it as a assist. Second. If you want I rewrite it. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:52, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
- Well Lee, I would like you to partially rewrite some of the battle because it is based on Axe helping Ahsoka, that's how I wrote the Axe article. Replacing "Axe" with "Tucker" isn't going to help anything. While I see a sentence or two changed to fit in with what Tucker did in the episode, I still see a huge resemblance to Axe. JangFett Talk 15:04, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
- Regardless of whether you used Axe for "assistance", Lee, copying others' work is both unprofessional and unoriginal and does not have a place on this wiki. Please rewrite the article. CC7567 (talk) 08:13, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
- I rewrote it. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:29, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
- Regardless of whether you used Axe for "assistance", Lee, copying others' work is both unprofessional and unoriginal and does not have a place on this wiki. Please rewrite the article. CC7567 (talk) 08:13, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
- Well Lee, I would like you to partially rewrite some of the battle because it is based on Axe helping Ahsoka, that's how I wrote the Axe article. Replacing "Axe" with "Tucker" isn't going to help anything. While I see a sentence or two changed to fit in with what Tucker did in the episode, I still see a huge resemblance to Axe. JangFett Talk 15:04, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
- First, I didn't copied the article. I took it as a assist. Second. If you want I rewrite it. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:52, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
- Just a note for the Acs, I believe Naru Hina is blocked and one of his objections is unstricken. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:54, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
- To me Lee, it looks as if you took Axe, and gave it a new name, then bent a little bit to cover your tracks. It seems that you did a horrible covering job. Please take this article and rewrite it. I know you could probably do better. Gmalek 17:50, November 2, 2009 (UTC)
Vote to remove nomination (AC only)
- Unaddressed objections for three weeks. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 22:40, November 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Getting ridiculous. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:44, November 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Eh. CC7567 (talk) 23:36, November 3, 2009 (UTC)
