Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Toomer

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Toomer

Besides that one comment, it's a good article. Kilson 20:55, March 20, 2011 (UTC)
Clones. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 10:36, March 22, 2011 (UTC)
You cloned the wrong man. Menkooroo 13:45, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 19:33, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:34, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
1358 ^(Talk) 19:16, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 20:28, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

~~Shouldn't VX-391 be italicized in the last paragraph of the bio section?~~ <-Omicron^{(Leave a message at the BEEP!)} 15:38, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
- It should. Next time, just go ahead and fix it :) QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 17:24, March 22, 2011 (UTC)

Can the bit about the slave rescue be cut out? It seems relevant to the mission but not that relevant to Toomer. Simply mentioning that the Jedi and Rex commandeered the ship and then tractored Toomer in, but leaving out the slaves mention, might be more focused and to the point. Thoughts? Menkooroo 18:24, March 25, 2011 (UTC)
- Addressed. Yeah, it now looks more focused on how Toomer got to ~~da choppa~~ the frigate. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 12:03, March 26, 2011 (UTC)

Can the P&T be rephrased a little bit? It sounds like a piece of biography that got it's own section, as opposed to unique info that is meant to go there. I know you can't really add anything outside of what's explicitly in the comic, but I think the one sentence could be reworded/expanded with a little creativity.
- Good now?
I don't know how many other clone articles are like this, but by starting with ""Toomer" was the nickname of a clone trooper" it kind of makes it sound like the article is about the nickname, and not the trooper. If you could rearrange to say Toomer was a clone trooper and then in the bio clarify that it was a nickname, that would be good. Or saying A clone trooper nicknamed Toomer blah blah blah. I'll leave that up to you. Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 07:59, March 27, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, pretty much every clone article is structured like this, but I think A clone trooper nicknamed Toomer is also good. Addressed. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 18:44, March 27, 2011 (UTC)

~~The last sentence of the intro's first paragraph seems a bit unwieldy to me. Could you split this into two sentences?~~
- Addressed.
~~In the bio, you mention that Gwori was "a droid-only zone." However, if I recall correctly, there are multiple organic beings on the planet. Please rephrase this.~~ Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 20:05, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Actually, it's called a droid-only zone in the comic, so I'd like to keep this term. I've tweaked the sentence a bit to make it more clear, though. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 16:31, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
  - Much better. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 20:28, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:28, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Is it at all possible to expand the Pts section? Does the comic state why Toomer was disapointed to miss the mission?
- I don't think so. The lead quote marks the final words spoken in the comic. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 20:59, March 20, 2011 (UTC)