Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Theoretical Serias species

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Theoretical Serias species

• Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 15:53, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Never done an article on a species that may or may not exist before. ~ SavageBob 15:53, March 29, 2011 (UTC)

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. Kilson 13:30, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
2. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 10:52, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
3. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:19, April 26, 2011 (UTC)
4. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 19:41, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
5. Karohalva 20:15, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Kilson

• You repeat "later" a couple of times in the intro. Might want to change one of them.
• "the Serianan system's secrets and began their own analysis" secrets sounds a bit too vague, could you change it to ruins or something similar?
• This is more of a personal style issue, but I feel you should switch the phrase, "After the New Republic scout Korren Starchaser..." from the B&a section with "Scout Korren Starchaser, a member of the New Republic Scout Service..." in the History section. The reasoning behind this is: you want to state Starchaser's official position or employer first in the body, and then say "the scout Korren Starchaser" or something like it later on in the body. It's up to you though.
• You should make clear in the History section that the non-human scientists are not affiliated with the New Republic when you first mention them.
• "Later, a group traveled to the Serianan system to search for the missing alien statue," Put spacer in here somewhere like you did in the intro. Also, you mention later on that they are working for a "patron." You need to move that into this sentance as well.
• You probably should expand the intro a little to give some more context on the pirates and the spacers.
• Overall, not bad. Nice job Bob. Kilson 00:42, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
  • I chose "mysteries" instead of "ruins," since it's unclear whether these artifacts are still in use or not. As for context on the pirates and spacers, there really is none to add (nor on the patron) since it's all from a very vague and terse adventure seed. What do you think? Thanks, too, for the very thoughtful review. ~ SavageBob 05:33, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
    • Understandable. Nice job with the objections. Kilson 13:30, March 30, 2011 (UTC)

Cav

• You mention that Serias is inhabited - do we know by whom?
• Later, a group of spacers traveled to the Serianan system to search for the missing alien statue at the behest of their patron. Does the patron deserve an article? - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:34, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
  • The article is a bit silly in that we're told the scouts came to the system, detected sentient life on the only inhabitable world, and then decided to spend the rest of their time investigating artifacts in an asteroid field. Makes little sense. :) So, unfortunately, we don't know by whom, and I didn't want to imply that it was necessarily the same group who made the artifacts, although it's strongly implied it is. As for the patron, the adventure seed is incredibly vague. I could make an article, but it would basically say, "this individual or group sent a group of spacers to investigate a series of ruins in the Serianan system," or something like that. It's not a big deal to create an article, but I felt that due to the extreme lack of detail known about this person or persons, it didn't warrant it. But I could be wrong. :P ~Savage 15:10, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
    • I'll leave the patron information up to you; we have articles for less, but its been a while since I read the original source material :) - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:19, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

Karohalva the Infallible Pumpkin

• Consistency in use of the possesive case. "...the species's existence..." and "...due to the asteroids' density..." in the intro, for example.
• Noting that the cavern was nicknamed the Gulch in both "Biology and Appearance" and "History" seems redundant, and I would only keep the mention in "History", but that's just me.
• I would prefer "...several scout ships placed end to end..." be written as "...several scout ships placed end-to-end..." but that's just a peculiarity of my education.
• "Nevertheless, word reached Starchaser that his find had been leaked." Call me choosy, which I am, but "that news of his find" sounds more encyclopedaic to me.
• That's about it from me, and as you can see, it's nothing worth wrangling over. You can heed me if you wish, but, meh, I'll vote for it anyway. Karohalva 20:14, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review! To respond to your concerns, the possessive should be OK; in the case of "species," the word is singular, so either s-apostrophe or s-apostrophe-s is OK. I prefer s-apostrophe, but one of the other reviewers changed it, and as both are OK, I'm willing to leave it be. However, in the case of "asteroids," the word is plural, so the only correct choice is s-apostrophe. As for "end to end", I've always been taught that compound adjectives and adverbs only take the hyphens when placed before the noun/verb they modify but not after. That's why it's that way in the article. And for your last concern, I honestly think "word" should be fine here. I'll take a look at your "Gulch" concern later; I'm pressed for time at the moment. Again, thanks for taking a look. :) ~Savage 20:24, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
    • Good enough for me. My objections were mere formality anyway. As I said, nothing worth wrangling over. Karohalva 20:28, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
      • Actually, I procrastinated from my other work to remove the first Gulch mention; as you suggested, it wasn't necessary in the B&A section. Thanks again! ~Savage 20:30, April 30, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:30, April 30, 2011 (UTC)