Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/The Clone Wars: The Valley

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

The Clone Wars: The Valley

  • Nominated by: Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 02:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Wow, this one was empty.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

  1. Before I even begin, you are missing sourcing in the infobox and BtS. The intro needs expanding. Please refer to TCW comic GAs to get a sense of what needs to be added in TCW comic OOU articles, i.e The Clone Wars: Procedure, The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen, The Clone Wars: Cold Snap, The Clone Wars: Transfer, and The Clone Wars: The Dreams of General Grievous. JangFett (Talk) 02:46, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
    • Roger roger! Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Xd
    • Serious underlinking in plot. --Xd1358 Talk 17:42, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
      • Roger roger! Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 03:08, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
    • Captain Typho goes to investigate, and finds three B1 battle droids.. You forgot the tactical droid.
    • and the unreliability of the sensors in the valleys may have fooled the sensors what?
    • spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike. You forgot the tactical droid here as well.
      • This one still remains.
        • Changed to spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid.
    • Captain Typho contacts Queen Neeyutnee and Sio Bibble via hologram. Who is Bibble?
    • The Valley explains why Senator Amidala was on Naboo during the events of Blue Shadow Virus. What Blue Shadow virus?
      • Added clarity. It's a Clone Wars episode.
    • Xd1358 Talk 07:15, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
      • Roger roger! Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:38, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
    • Plot: Who is Bow and Chrin.
      • Added clarity.
    • Intro: Underlinking, check again. Xd1358 Talk 11:14, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
      • I think I got it. Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 16:27, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
    • That sentence Suddenly, a security officer spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid. is still pretty unclear. According to this image, there was no B1 on the speeder bike.
      • Fixed.
        • "Chrin shoots the speederbike with a missile launcher; it and its pilot are immediately destroyed." The following sentence still implies there were two passengers on the speederbike.
          • Fixed.
    • The droids are destroyed, and Senator Padmé Amidala is called back to Naboo to help. So, the droids are destroyed and she is called back. Nothing else? Xd1358 Talk 16:33, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
      • Unfortunately, nothing else. The comic ends there.
  3. The Grand Master's first look
    • Just a couple small things right off the bat that I noticed that normally I would fix myself; however, I wanted to bring these up so that you know to avoid them in the future: please don't use an & symbol or parenthases in an article's prose.
      • Addressed.
    • The layout of the BTS does not match up with established precedents. Please see other TCW comic GAs for appropriate examples.
      • Addressed. Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 18:19, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
        • Good, but please check your sourcing. Right now, you have left a previously sourced statement unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 18:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
          • Addressed. Darth KarikaPlease leave a message after the beep. *boom* 00:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
            • This remains. The last statement of that paragraph was sourced before, but it isn't now. Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 03:43, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
              • Fixed (I hope).
    • Possibly more to come. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 05:09, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
  4. The Grand Master II
    • Missing minor info in the intro (see other web comic GAs to see exactly what I mean)
    • Why is the fact that it's the first appearance of Chrin and Peppi Bow listed in the BTS? Is it really necessary?
      • Addressed.
    • "There is not much left of the droids that attacked, but he will analyze the scraps anyway." Who does "he" refer to? Bibble or Typho?
      • Addressed.
    • You should make an event for the battle in the article. Maybe "skirmish in the valley" or something similar.
    • You should also probably make a page for the valley location itself.
    • I'm seeing lots of missing things in the Appearances section. (i.e. the Palace was mentioned, as were sensors, a hologram, the titles of Senator and Boss, etc.) Please review the comic and your article and make sure you have every appearance listed.
      • Hopefully fixed.
        • Normally this would fall under {{sofixit}}, but I want to make sure you know to avoid these in the future: The list is still incomplete. You have failed to list the titles "Senator" and "Captain," and the organization Naboo Royal Advisory Council. Make sure the pages you link are the actual pages and not redirects, and make sure you properly use the bullets (i.e. the "Theed Palace" should be a sub-bullet of "Naboo," because it is located on Naboo.) Also, make sure you list them correctly as well—according to the current list, Neeyuntee actually appears, but the title "Queen" does not. If Neeyuntee appears, and they call her "Queen," then Queen does appear, and shouldn't be listed as (Mentioned only), as you currently have it listed. Also, make sure you add the event and the valley appearances as well once you've created the pages. And I would also suggest making a page for the other Security trooper with Chrin and Typho in the valley, naming him something along the lines of "Unidentified Royal Naboo Security trooper" (and don't forget to add him to the appearances, too!). Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 22:33, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
    • When does the 3PO droid appear? You have it listed under appearances, but it is not mentioned in the summary at all.
    • Please link each article only once in the infobox.
      • Taken care of. --Xd 15:05, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
    • Also, as a note: in the future, please watch your linking. There were several things in the body that linked to redirects or that were not linked at all, that I took care of during my copy-edit.
    • Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 15:00, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Nomination now has three-week-old idle objections today, and the nominator has not bothered to edit the article or evidently seek any help during that time. Thus, the removal vote. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:26, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:27, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 19:28, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Make it so. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 19:28, April 3, 2010 (UTC)