Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/The Clone Wars: Bait (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

The Clone Wars: Bait

  • Nominated by: Kilson(Let's have a chat) 05:35, April 17, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Another OOU nom. Let the torture being. MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (Insert lightning in the background)

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Menkooroo 06:59, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:53, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:57, April 29, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:57, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 20:19, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Continuing from IRC...
  • I think that the characters are supposed to be alphabetical by article title, so first name rather than last name. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
    • Menkooroo, you are wrong. Menkooroo 06:53, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
      • K. Sorry about that. Menkooroo 06:53, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
  • I think you should leave in something like "Tano is skeptical of the plan," as right now, "Skywalker replies that the Confederate's battle droids are so idiotic" doesn't make sense. Going from our IRC convo, though, I think that "Skywalker believes" would be better than "Skywalker replies," as talking about characters' motivations seems less play-by-play than recounting what they say.
  • All I got! Menkooroo 06:45, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
QGJ
  • I believe that you should mention when the events of the comic take place, i.e. around 21 BBY. Maybe a Bts mention to the extent of "Star Wars Annual 2011 established that the events of The Clone Wars take place in c. 21 BBY, so this comic must also take place around this time." You can probably figure out a better wording, though.
    • Added the info to the Infobox and the Conception section. What do you think?
  • Can you use something less harsh than "idiotic" to describe the droids? It just feels too excessive to me and strays close to POV. "Not so smart," "not very bright," "unintelligent" maybe? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:52, April 26, 2011 (UTC)
Moffship
  • "With Skywalker in his fighter, the Twilight releases the starship—appearing disabled—into the ice field, as well as a broken hyperspace docking ring." - While I know what you're getting at with this, the sentence just seems a bit choppy to me. Perhaps it could be improved if you mention that Skywalker boards his fighter in a separate sentence, and then reword this sentence to eliminate the need for the dashes. (I would do it myself, but I'd rather get your opinion before changing anything.)
  • Otherwise, good work. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 19:57, May 4, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review Tranner.

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:19, May 4, 2011 (UTC)