Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Temple baths

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Temple baths

Nominated by: DarthSkyll (talk) 06:56, 7 December 2023 (UTC)
Nomination comments: Renominated as GAN after 250 word limit was exceeded
Date Archived: 00:08, 13 December 2023 (UTC)
Final word count: 275 words (43 introduction, 199 body, 33 behind the scenes)
WookieeProject (optional): WP:THR

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Hope to see more from you!—spookywilloww^talk 23:31, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
Lewisr (talk) 00:54, 12 December 2023 (UTC)
Nice work! Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 18:11, 12 December 2023 (UTC)
UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:02, 12 December 2023 (UTC)
Booply (talk) 00:06, 13 December 2023 (UTC)

Object

spookly

(Review note) I've removed the reference from the intro; something to keep in mind, as we don't add them there.
~~"Core Worlds" as Coruscant's context should be moved up to the Description for Coruscant's first mention, instead of having it down in the History.~~

It would be great if you could add one more sentence to the intro, preferably including a link to 231 BBY somewhere in.

You'll need to work a Jedi Order link somewhere in the article body so that it supports the infobox affiliation. It's often easiest to shove it in description, I've found.

Second sentence of the Description would be better suited to be moved down, to be the top sentence of the History, since it's not a physical trait of the location and rather usage/historical.

"The Journeyman had been hit by a piece of debris from the Legacy Run following the Great Hyperspace Disaster."—I'm unsure if this is necessarily relevant to the baths themselves, and rather should be included on Journeyman related articles. It may be advisable to alter the sentence mentioning 231 BBY (currently the first sentence in the History) to be "Following the Great Hyperspace Disaster in 231 BBY, the transport ship…" to still include some of that context, but not have it be on its own sentence mentioned afterward.

Per the Manual of Style, "couldn't" contractions and similar cannot be used in articles themselves, it should be expanded to "could not."

"Later, upon arriving on Coruscant…" this sentence could be split after "but"; is a bit of a run-on.

Image caption should expound a bit more on Silas's relevancy to the article, other than only his name. "Silas talked about the Temple baths..." or any number of possibilities.

~~Looks like Baths is missing an infobox ref and first paragraph of the History is missing a ref.~~—spookywilloww^talk 17:57, 8 December 2023 (UTC)
- Sorry, I won't add a reference to the intro in the future.
- I added 232 BBY to the intro (you said 231, but you meant 232, or did I miss something?) I also added a Core Worlds and Jedi Order link to the description.
- I moved the "During the High Republic Era" part to the history section, but left the rest in the description section because it describes what the baths are for. But I can change that.
- I removed some of the Journeyman details.
- I changed the "couldn't" and split the Cohmac sentence.
- I expanded the image caption and added the missing references. DarthSkyll (talk) 22:59, 9 December 2023 (UTC)
  - Ah; yes, 232 BBY indeed. Sorry, been writing so much of The Rising Storm that my autocorrect loves it. I've made a small copy-edit here; only things of note is to be a touch careful of redundancy of the same words/phrases used too consecutively, merged the top sentence to avoid the 1-sentence being alone, and "however" can often be a good replacement for "But" at the beginning, to avoid conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence (while technically grammatically allowed, status articles tend not to). Excellent work on the rest <3 —spookywilloww^talk 23:31, 9 December 2023 (UTC)

Lew

~~I think the last sentence in the intro cause use a little more expanding~~ Lewisr (talk) 06:20, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
~~I think Template:Location should be used instead of the current infobox~~ Lewisr (talk) 06:20, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
- I expanded the intro a little bit, by adding that Reath was helping with an evacuation and I changed the infobox. DarthSkyll (talk) 09:02, 10 December 2023 (UTC)
  - As the page currently suggests it was both during the evacuation (in the intro) and after they had assisted in it (body), can you just clarify on the page which is the case Lewisr (talk) 17:04, 11 December 2023 (UTC)
    - I changed "while" to "after". DarthSkyll (talk) 17:41, 11 December 2023 (UTC)

Anil

(Reviewing note) Per the Manual of Style, image captions that constitute full sentences should receive a period.
"it was acceptable for Jedi to go immediately to the Temple baths after a mission." Unless that's how the source words it, it's usually best to avoid passive voice as we don't know by whom "it was acceptable." I'd actually suggest removing that bit altogether since it's deduced from Silas's intentions, which are already covered in the article. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:30, 12 December 2023 (UTC)
- Into the Dark says: "Upon arriving on Coruscant, it would've been acceptable for Cohmac to go immediately to the baths". Should I change it anyway? DarthSkyll (talk) 10:56, 12 December 2023 (UTC)
  - Oh, it's fine as it is then. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 18:11, 12 December 2023 (UTC)

Boop

~~Is an article named similarly to the Evacuation of the Journeyman notable enough for an event page of its own, to then be linked here?~~Booply (talk) 20:13, 12 December 2023 (UTC)
- I thought so too when I created this page, but forgot about it. I added it. I'll create the page "Evacuation of the Journeyman". DarthSkyll (talk) 23:28, 12 December 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 00:07, 13 December 2023 (UTC)