- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Shara'Tam
- Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:43, 25 November 2022 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- Date Archived: 14:39, 10 February 2023 (UTC)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST
(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Loqiical (talk) 00:46, 26 November 2022 (UTC)
—spookywillowwtalk 02:02, 30 November 2022 (UTC)- Imperators II(Talk) 18:09, 30 November 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 16:49, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- AxMech (talk) 12:33, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:21, 10 February 2023 (UTC)
Object
Spooky
At first pass, the last sentence of the intro seems to be worded a bit awkwardly—though it does make more sense after reading the full article. Might there be a way to split that sentence or, if deemed not necessary, to remove the "and ended up in his family" from it to make it more concise? Didn't know quite how best to tweak it, but it seemed like it was a run-on in the way that I'd forgotten the first part's relevance to the moon by the sentence's end.- Gave it a tweak.
Seems like the story's page has a redlink for Pathfinder team that I feel could be made then introduced to link in this article to one of the group/team mentions.—spookywillowwtalk 00:47, 28 November 2022 (UTC)- Stubbed and added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:41, 29 November 2022 (UTC)
AxMech
The "History" paragraph needs to be updated with a section about the moon's ancient inhabitants (since Sturm's expedition confirmed their existence) AxMech (talk) 14:40, 27 January 2023 (UTC)- All we know about them is already there: "a valuable statue on the moon revealed that a sentient race had lived in the system, confirming Umbrik and Janssen's theory." Unless you mean an "Inhabitants" section? Which I think would be a little redundant. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
- No, I mean that before the mention of Sturm's expedition you should mention "in ancient times, a race of sentient aliens used to live on the planet and erected a statue" or something like that, since, chronologically, this happened before the expedition in the Republic era.AxMech (talk) 11:55, 30 January 2023 (UTC)
- Sure, chronology sounds good. Added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:01, 1 February 2023 (UTC)
- No, I mean that before the mention of Sturm's expedition you should mention "in ancient times, a race of sentient aliens used to live on the planet and erected a statue" or something like that, since, chronologically, this happened before the expedition in the Republic era.AxMech (talk) 11:55, 30 January 2023 (UTC)
- All we know about them is already there: "a valuable statue on the moon revealed that a sentient race had lived in the system, confirming Umbrik and Janssen's theory." Unless you mean an "Inhabitants" section? Which I think would be a little redundant. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:39, 27 January 2023 (UTC)
Ayrehead
I think you should mention the holographic display in the body as well as the BTS.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:50, 3 February 2023 (UTC)- Added to the body, was already in the BTS. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:18, 5 February 2023 (UTC)
Comments
- Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 14:21, 10 February 2023 (UTC)