Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/SSA-1015

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

SSA-1015

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. JangFett Talk 17:16, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
  2. How can you not love Decipher-based articles? MauserComlink 11:14, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
  3. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 17:29, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote --Eyrezer 04:42, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
  5. Yet another B1 GA. Kilson Likes PIE 13:19, 1 July 09 (UTC)
  6. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 19:50, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 16:11, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
  8. Sorry I kept ya waiting so long, QuiGon. IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 17:13, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Floyd:
    • Didn't Gunray already know that the Jedi were aboard the ship? Because the article makes it sound like he had no idea and they secretly infiltrated the ship.
      • Addressed.
    • "However, when Gunray was informed about the Jedi presence aboard the ship, he ordered to kill them, following the command of the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Sidious with whom he was secretly in alliance." Ordered who to kill them?
      • Reworded.
    • Other than that, no problems. Nice job.
    • —Unsigned comment by Ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing (talk • contribs)
  2. The Grand Master
    • Intro: Is "squadmates" an actual phrase? Either way, it would probably be better to just say something along the lines of "the rest of his squad".
      • Jang addressed this one.
    • Bio: As I recall, Valorum/the Jedi Council sent the Jedi, not the Senate.
      • Valorum dispatched Jinn and Kenobi JangFett Talk 22:32, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
        • True. Rephrased.
    • Bio: "However, when Gunray was informed about the Jedi presence aboard the ship, he ordered to kill them, following the command of the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Sidious with whom he was secretly in alliance." This is awkward and grammatically incorrect; please rephrase.
      • Again, reworded.
        • Better, but "When it became known to Gunray that the ambassadors were in fact Jedi", is still awkward, and "and asked what to do with them" is a little colloquial. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:59, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
          • Addressed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 08:25, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
            • Hmm, I hate to be a pain in the neck here, but "treat" seems like it's giving off the wrong connotation. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 21:19, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
              • I reworded it again. If you still have some problems with it, please just change it to something you like, because I'm running out of ideas. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
    • Bio: "The poisonous dioxis gas soon filled the conference room." This is placed rather randomly, with no explanation. Please work this into the paragraph a little better.
      • Addressed.
    • Bio: "SSA-1015 was one of several droids that were dispatched to check if the Jedi had been killed." As I recall, they were supposed to destroy the Jedi's remains, not check if they were killed.
      • Addressed.
    • P&t: "His programming assured him that a Jedi could be subdued, which was ultimately proven wrong." This didn't prove that Jedi couldn't be subdued, just that this droid was unable to defeat them.
      • Addressed.
    • Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 22:25, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
  3. Fett's 2 cents
    • Intro:"SSA-1015 was a member of the squad that was dispatched to make sure that Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi had been killed by the poisonous dioxis gas that filled the conference room of the ship." Actually, Gunray dispatched SSA-1015 and his squad to destroy what's left of the Jedi—after Gunray assumed that the dioxis killed them.
      • Addressed.
    • "The Senate sent two ambassadors—Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi—to Naboo to negotiate with the Federation.". Chancellor Valorum sent Jinn and Kenobi, not the Senate. Gunray thought they were ambassadors, and not Jedi. TC-14 told Gunray that the ambassadors are Jedi Knights—which he then contacted Sidious, and the Dark Lord told Gunray to kill them. Thus Gunray ordering to set off the dioxis and dispatching SSA-1015 to destroy what's left of them.
      • Yeah, I guess it was too long since I watched TPM. Reworded everything.
    • Overall, good work :) JangFett Talk 22:42, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
  4. Kilson's time to shine (as if I don't already :P)
    • Could you give a small mention to the Blockade of Naboo in the intro
    • You might want to mention in the body that the Jedi survived the gas because they used the force.
    • Other than that, nice job dude. Kilson Likes PIE 12:41, 28 June 09 (UTC)
  5. A small one, but is "Theed Palace Limited" supposed to be italicized, placed in quotations, or something else? The reason I'm asking is because the template places it in italics, while you use quotations. It would be preferable if some consistency is used. CC7567 (talk) 23:22, 2 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 17:27, 7 July 2009 (UTC)