- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Rodrigu Battle
- Nominated by: Bonzane10
(holonet) 09:39, 31 July 2023 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- Date Archived: 01:01, 1 November 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1011 words (181 introduction, 793 body, 37 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP: COMICS
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:34, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
Here's hoping he did survive the fall.. Lewisr (talk) 04:08, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
Nice work! Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 16:14, 22 October 2023 (UTC)
—spookywillowwtalk 23:01, 23 October 2023 (UTC)- Cyborg Commando (talk) 07:25, 31 October 2023 (UTC)
- Great job! Panther436 (talk) 19:38, 31 October 2023 (UTC)
Object
Lew
Per the manual of style, human is not to be captialised in canonLewisr (talk) 15:11, 31 July 2023 (UTC)Context for Corellia in the intro, and it being a planet/in the Core is not citeable to issue 21 so that'll require a source- Added
I think it's worth including the bit with T'onga and Losha visiting the arena, and Losha originally believing they were there for Rodrigu. You could even include Losha's line about her believing he could take on the Empire himself in skills/abilitiesLewisr (talk) 15:51, 6 August 2023 (UTC)I'm not sure that the current top quote is the best choice compared with the other options that could be addedLewisr (talk) 17:45, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Context for Cadeliah is needed in the intro- Added
'Battle fought against Leech and was once again defeated, losing his right leg from being cut off, and falling off a high platform.' I tried to cut a bit of the intro, but the last part of this sentence (after losing) didn't entirely make senseLewisr (talk) 18:39, 12 August 2023 (UTC)Following an earlier objection, I should have noticed at the time before striking so my mistake, but when you talk about T'onga and Losha being at the arena, you should specify why they are there. Currently you just say Losha believed they were there for Rodrigu, but it would be unclear for those not famiiliar with the source as to why.- Added
I think it would be including the date for the Corellia mission, even if it's only between 3 ABY and 4 ABY'along with the ruthless Trandoshan bounty hunter Bossk'wassak'Cradossk' I'm unsure of whether you need to include the ruthless bit, unless there's a source- Removed
You should find a way to include the bit where he tells Tasu to accept his 'inevitable defeat with honor' and when he corners Tasu. The first bit could certainly perhaps find a way into the P+T at least'gloating at his opponent's potential demise' I'm not sure I read the issue the same way in regards to gloating about a demise, he says he hoped he survived. And some of what Tasu says here feels it could fit in the skills and abilities about his own thoughts towards Rodrigu's abilities'In a match, he often striked first' Do we know this to be the case, we only saw the start of one of his fightsLewisr (talk) 20:50, 13 August 2023 (UTC)I spoke with Anil before putting this one since he had originally suggested putting it in P&T. But I think it would be better to move the language stuff to skills and abilitiesLewisr (talk) 21:08, 13 August 2023 (UTC)Do you think there's another image that could be used in the skills and abilities section which showcases Rodrigu's skills/abilities better? Or how do you feel about swapping the image with the one in the Corellia section? Lewisr (talk) 20:34, 10 October 2023 (UTC)Nar Kanji in the intro could use one small bit of contextLewisr (talk) 17:34, 18 October 2023 (UTC)- Done
I'm looking at the quote in equipment, is there no other choice? Or a way to make the current seem relevant to the section?Lewisr (talk) 17:34, 18 October 2023 (UTC)- Changed it. The current one I think fits better given his arm attachment/replacement.
I think you could maybe beef up the 2nd paragraph in "Against an underdog" by taking some from the first as the two are pretty notably different size wiseLewisr (talk) 17:34, 18 October 2023 (UTC)
Anil
- (Reviewing note) Per the Manual of Style, image captions that constitute full sentences should receive a period (full stop).
- (Reviewing note) Also per MoS, double hyphens (--), which are quite common in comics, are replaced with an em dash in quotations.
- (Reviewing note) This is not a rule or anything, but I'd strongly recommend checking out the instructions in {{Quote}}. It lists several optional parameters that make our job much easier! :)
I think there are several instances ("ending the fight fairly quick," for example) that have slight NPOV issues. Could you please revise them?- Changed
- Nice work!
Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 14:32, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
- Nice work!
- Changed
Can you specify which limb Leech cut during their first match?- Added
About the section on the kidnapping of Vukorah, I believe that part could use some restructuring to present the event more chronologically. For example, it currently mentions that it was a planned attack to kidnap Vukorah later as a revelation, in the same order as it is revealed to the reader.Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:21, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
- (Reviewing note) While comics often use boldfaced wording for emphasis, you can transcribe the emphasis in Wook quotes by removing italics, per the Manual of Style.
- Noted
I think Personality and traits should include Battle's knowledge of languages. Like, he could speak Basic and he was capable of, at least, understanding Jablogian per Bounty Hunters 15.Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:28, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
We know that Bounty Hunters 21 take place between V and VI, but I don't think the issue itself is enough to source its placement between the Escape from Cloud City or the Rescue of Han Solo, especially since these events are not mentioned in it. This Good article, for example, uses a SW.com article to source the timeframe for another Bounty Hunters issue.Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 13:00, 26 August 2023 (UTC)
One last thing from me: The current wording of Battle and Leech's first fight inherently suggests that the latter cut Battle's real left arm, though I think the arm was already replaced with a blade and Leech just severed that part again along with some of his horns. Could you please clarify that?Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 05:08, 21 October 2023 (UTC)
Macaroni
I'd encourage merging the Early life section with the next one since it's only two sentences.Can you describe his reputation in a better way than "very good"?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:10, 20 August 2023 (UTC)I'm a little confused by this sentence – what is the significance of Cadeliah and why would that aggravate the leader? "T'onga simply reminded her about the true heir of the criminal syndicate, Cadeliah, aggravating the grand leader."- Review note: please take a look at my copy-edit for minor fixes and tweaks. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:25, 4 September 2023 (UTC)
Panther
Worth including in some form that the announcer referred to him as the "Breaker of bones" and "Crusher of spirits"- Added
Can you make it clear that Battle and Leech are fighting with blades in the pit fight when it's introduced? Tasu having a knife sort of comes out of nowhere otherwise.- Added
The few instances of saying that Tasu cut off Battle's hand are confusing considering Battle already didn’t have a hand and had a blade instead. Recommend changing the wording.Panther436 (talk) 15:18, 29 October 2023 (UTC)- Per the objection by Anil above. Bonzane10
(holonet) 07:51, 30 October 2023 (UTC)
- My objection goes along with Anil's as now it almost implies that he cut off his real hand. I just mean that instead of saying Tasu cut off Battle's hand and then clarifying that Battle didn't have a hand, just simplifying/clarifying it to cutting off the blade/attachment from his limb so it's more straightforward. Panther436 (talk) 12:26, 30 October 2023 (UTC)
- Per the objection by Anil above. Bonzane10
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:34, 31 October 2023 (UTC)