Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Radanthus Mandelatara (second nomination)

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Radanthus Mandelatara

  • Nominated by: StarsiderSWG (talk) 22:22, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Just wanted to get around to re-nominating this article. I was bit tied down by things during the last nomination, which is why I neglected it. I want to clarify that this character wasn't mentioned in any of the SWG guides, so that's why I don't list those as sources.

(4 ACs/5 Users/9 Total)

Support

  1. A shame it had to be archived as failed in the first place, unless Tope had other objections beyond that prelim. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 22:40, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
  2. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:20, May 23, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:00, May 29, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 02:53, June 1, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:29, June 16, 2013 (UTC)
  6. There were quite a few things that needed to be fixed in my copy-edit. Please take a look at them, and be more careful in the future. Also, I'm voting in support in good faith that you'll take care of Tope's and Dogma's objections to satisfaction.—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 16:20, June 26, 2013 (UTC)
    • If I were to give my own two cents, I feel like it doesn't matter if one pipelinks to color at first opportunity, or links to all individual colors, so long as it's consistent through the article. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 18:22, July 20, 2013 (UTC)
  7. 501st dogma(talk) 12:01, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Winterz (talk) 20:12, July 19, 2013 (UTC)
  9. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:01, July 25, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • Could you link to the Moenia hotel in the intro and on the first mention of the hotel in the body?
  • Could you try to vary the wording a little bit more? The intro and bio and almost the same words.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 01:13, May 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Linked the Moenia hotel in the arrangement you requested... also tried my best with making the text more varied, though it's difficult to get too creative with such limited material on the subject. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:18, June 1, 2013 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • I would like to see a significant expansion on his clothing. I'm to understand that Galaxies provides a canonical name and description for pretty much every major clothing item in the game, particularly the armor outfits worn by Rebel soldiers. If you take a look here, for example, you'll see that I was able to mention and link to every single item of armor that is visible on this character's person. That's how this character should be treated as well. All of this information should be moved into an "Equipment" section and you should look into which of these items should have articles created for them if one doesn't exist already. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:40, June 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • The personality and traits section mentions he wore a vested jacket (which is the a actual name of that clothing item in the game). But I can also create an equipment section if needed. Not sure if there's any screenshot showing what pants/shoes he wears... but if there is, I'll add that info too. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:02, June 2, 2013 (UTC)
      • Okay, I think I found some info on the rest of his clothing. I should get around to adding equipment section today or tomorrow. StarsiderSWG (talk) 21:12, June 5, 2013 (UTC)
        • Now added the equipment section with full clothing list. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:18, June 7, 2013 (UTC)
          • It's looking good, but what I notice is that his outfit is just about identical to that worn by Luke Skywalker while on Hoth, down to the same belt buckle. I thought at first we could connect what he's wearing to the Alliance Cold Weather armor, but it seems that doesn't work exactly, and I don't see any other named armor set on the SWG wiki that would apply. Given that, I think it's important that the article specifies that he's not just wearing some random vest, pants, etc., but he's wearing standard-issue Alliance military clothing. Try to work that into that sentence somehow, and make sure to mention the belt as well. Also, I think you should mention the piece he's wearing under his brown vest, since those are two separate items of clothing. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:05, June 12, 2013 (UTC)
            • It's funny, because I never realized Luke wore that jacket (but it seems he actually does). Thing is though, this was also the standard jacket worn by Imperial Surface Marshals. A better pic can be seen here ( http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/File:Stronghold3.jpg ). In any case, I can expand the description. I'm not sure if the belt has an official name (it was just a intrinsic part of the jacket), but I can describe its general appearance. StarsiderSWG (talk) 21:17, June 12, 2013 (UTC)
              • Expanded the equipment section some more. The vested jacket was worn by Imperial Surface Marshals, Rebel Recruiters, Luke Skywalker, and other Rebel Troopers during their stay on Hoth. StarsiderSWG (talk) 15:52, June 15, 2013 (UTC)
                • Ok, good job, it's looking much better. I've done a lot of work with the Rebel Echo Base armor outfits in recent days, so I made some revisions to that section to link to the specific clothing items that the text is referencing. It's very good that you're also referencing the differences in clothing between Mandelatara's and the Rebels' outfit, but what I think really needs to be pointed out is that the padded collar is inverted between the two. If you look at the Echo Base outfit, you'll notice that the padded collar is on their outer vest, while Mandelatara's padded collar is actually part of his under-jacket (which I figure is just one of many Galaxies screw-ups). Try working that into the sentence where you begin to discuss how his jacket is different from the Rebels and Imperials. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:21, July 10, 2013 (UTC)
                  • Sure, I'll get that worked in by tomorrow. Thanks. StarsiderSWG (talk) 02:25, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
                    • Sorry for the delay on this. I added the line, "However, his jacket differed from those worn by Rebel's on Hoth, in that the padded collar was an integral component of his under-jacket, rather than the vest." Feel free to make any tweaks to it if you think it should be rephrased a little. I didn't want to make it sound too convoluted. Thanks for your careful attention. StarsiderSWG (talk) 23:25, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
A picky objection from dogma
  • "...which the Alliance to Restore the Republic defeated the Galactic Empire at the Battle of Yavin in 0 BBY." Here it sounds like the Alliance the defeated the entire Empire at Yavin, which is not the case. I know this is picky, but perhaps you could word it differently? 501st dogma(talk) 15:50, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I see what you mean. I'll find a way to rephrase that in a bit. StarsiderSWG (talk) 21:29, June 28, 2013 (UTC)
      • Okay, I changed "defeated the Empire" to "won a decisive victory against the Empire." Hope that's better, but if not, I know of another way it can be rephrased. When I get the chance, I'm also thinking of adding an image of the Moenia hotel. StarsiderSWG (talk) 01:49, July 6, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 00:01, July 25, 2013 (UTC)