- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Peleg Ryn
- Nominated by: Lewisr (talk) 02:18, 23 January 2025 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- Date Archived: 20:50, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
- Final word count: 684 words (166 introduction, 484 body, 34 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 768 words (166 introduction, 568 body, 34 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS WP:PRIDE WP:THR
(4 ACs/0 Users/4 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
Assuming below sorted —spookywillowwtalk 19:20, 16 March 2025 (UTC)
Panther436 (talk) 00:02, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
CometSmudge (talk) 03:10, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
OOM 224 20:49, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
Object
Panther
I think it would serve the article to mention that Ryn was a part of Yoda's effort immediately when it's introduced in both the intro and the body. Especially the body, as there are four straight long sentences where Ryn is not mentioned when they easily could be. It makes it feel like it's an article about Yoda or the event, not Ryn. My suggestion would be something like: "Ryn took part in Master Yoda's effort..." in the 1st paragraph and then focus on "During Ryn's shift..." for the 2nd if that makes sense.The second to last sentence of the bio ("The Miralian then...") seems unnecessary, again feels like it belongs in an article about Yoda or Rwoh, not RynI don't think the last sentence of the P&T is necessary, it's already sufficiently covered in the S&A and fits better in that section. The frowning lends itself more to their strain than their personality or an inherent trait.- Review note: Did a copy-edit, one thing was that when the 'temple' was referenced I changed it to 'shrine' or 'Sith temple' to clarify that it was referring to the Shrine in the Depths, not the Jedi Temple, since they're sort of in both and both are mentioned Panther436
(talk) 02:54, 15 March 2025 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:49, 17 March 2025 (UTC)