Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Pax Chizzik (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Pax Chizzik

  • Nominated by: DFaceG (talk) 08:35, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:Novels

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, 22 June 2022 (UTC)
  2. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 09:16, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:03, 3 July 2022 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:47, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
  5. Check my edits, need to specify what is pictured if the caption doesnt make it clear Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 04:19, 13 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • Is Hanna Ding being the same age as Esterhazy notable info?
    • Info removed.DFaceG (talk) 08:26, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
  • " with it being stated that he was intelligent" Stated by whom? Fan26 (Talk) 04:34, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Rephrased.DFaceG (talk) 08:26, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
  • "It was said that he was "born to play a dashing prince in some romantic epic of the last age." Said by who? Fan26 (Talk) 18:32, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Rephrased. DFaceG (talk) 01:44, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
Spooky
  • The born c. 30 BBY is infobox exclusive.
  • Could references 3 and 4 not easily be merged into one by noting the competiton's dating after the knots as part of the novel's events? It seems repetitive to have the same, "this book occurs in 19 BBY according to..." in three references, when it could be done as two.—spookywillowwtalk 23:10, 29 March 2022 (UTC)
  • The intro could use a bit of expansion given the overall article length.
    • Made an attempt at expanding it. DFaceG (talk) 18:45, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
  • In Appearances, the formatting of the audiobook should not include the parenthesis per precedent.
  • Does he have any dialogue that could be used as quotes for The Apprentice Tournament/After the tournament sections?
    • Added pretty much the only other quotes that he had of note. DFaceG (talk) 18:45, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
  • I'm feeling that the quote descriptions under Learning to be a Jedi and the P+T come across much more like image captions; perhaps those could be tweaked a bit to reflect who he's speaking to instead? Or to not be as sentence-like.
    • I personally disagree, because the descriptions provide context for when and why Pax had said those things and there is no reason for there to be an explicit disconnect between how image and quote captions are formatted. DFaceG (talk) 18:45, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
      • After the input gotten from when asked in Discord, it seems that the MOS states that the captions should not have periods at the end, and that other precedent would have the captions be presented in present tense. With the removal of the periods, that would solve my issue of them being sentence-like.—spookywillowwtalk 19:23, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
  • "He was regarded as a natural leader.." - regarded by who?
    • Rephrased. DFaceG (talk) 18:45, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
  • In reading the P+T I think a lot of that content might be a better fit for a Skills and abilities section.
  • He should have an equipment section to reflect the lightsaber he wielded.
    • There isn't substantial information regarding the lightsaber. We know only that he used one. The section would be a brief sentence and nothing else. DFaceG (talk) 18:45, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
      • It seems like even if an Equipment section is short for Jedi, it's still denoted in it's own section because it doesn't change the fact that it is equipment that was wielded by the character. Nim Pianna comes to mind; can pull other examples if you'd like.—spookywillowwtalk 19:23, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
  • The article should avoid the instances of contractions (spotted a wouldn't offhandedly).
  • {{CSWECite}} should be implemented.—spookywillowwtalk 09:32, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
Luca
  • Context for Coruscant is missing.
    • Added. DFaceG (talk) 09:32, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
      • It's still missing in the intro. LucaRoR Sigil of House Serenno (Talk) 17:45, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
  • The last sentence of the first biography paragraph isn't clear. Is it missing a "during" or something similar?
  • It is not clear to me how the quote under "Learning to be a Jedi" relates to the paragraph.
    • It entails how Chizzik applied what he learned in his training. I'll rephrase the caption to make this more clear. DFaceG (talk) 09:32, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Additionally, the image next to the paragraph could/should be moved below since it does not have a connection to it.
  • The third reference could be simplified to something like this: "According to The Essential Reader's Companion, the events of Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, which include the Apprentice Tournament, occur in 19 BBY. As Enwandung-Esterhazy having assisted Chizzik in practicing the knots is described as having occurred prior to the events of the novel, it must have occurred by 19 BBY."
  • You use many pronouns in the second paragraph of the "The Apprentice Tournament" paragraph. It would be nice if you replaced a few of them with the names of the two Jedi.
    • Attempted to fix. DFaceG (talk) 09:32, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • A touch of context for the Agricultural Corps would be nice.
  • Since you already state that in Equipment, I see no need to say that he wielded "a green-bladed training lightsaber." in the body.
  • "Chizzik acts with honor" is this stated by the source? Otherwise, I'd suggest rewording it and using a more neutral sentence since honor can be subjective.
  • Similar reasoning applies to "egotistical" and "enormous spirit and charm."
    • Rephrased the former, but the latter is stated by the source. DFaceG (talk) 09:32, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • "Scout" is intro-exclusive and should be either reflected in the body or removed from the intro.
  • (Review note) Please, make sure to be ok with my copy-edit. LucaRoR Sigil of House Serenno (Talk) 15:25, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Looks good. DFaceG (talk) 09:32, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
CC-8
  • Tallisibeth's last name is hyphenated, so "Enwandung-Esterhazy" needs to be used each time she is mentioned
  • As a force-sensitive character, Skills and abilities should be replaced with Power and abilities per the layout guide
  • Could use an image of the Jedi Temple in the P&T or S&A. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:05, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 05:51, 13 July 2022 (UTC)