Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Oric Harfard

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Oric Harfard

• Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Jujiggum) 23:11, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: It would seem that I lied about not having any more Fate of the Jedi: Outcast noms. Oh well, I've gotta do something to keep myself busy.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. Graestan^(Talk) 03:33, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
2. CC7567 ^(talk) 04:21, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
3. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 11:14, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
4. SoresuMakashi^{(Everything I tell you is a lie)} 08:21, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
5. --Darth tom (Imperial Intelligence) 11:27, 31 May 2009 (UTC)

Object

1. Cloned
   • "where he got into an argument": too colloquial.
     • Changed.
   • "Mon Calamari Master Claghari" is too much context. Is the species really necessary?
     • Removed.
   • "Cilghal delayed him": delayed who?
     • Specified.
   • The "natural dislike" isn't really appropriate; unless it states that he intended to dislike the Jedi all along, it's not the best wording choice. I would suggest removing "natural", because it's not the clearest choice of words, and it implies too much, such as if he was actually born to hate the Jedi.
     • Removed.
   • CC7567 ^(talk) 23:21, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
     • Thanks for the review. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Jujiggum) 23:28, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
       • I'll put a vote in soon, but I'll be checking over the article again. CC7567 ^(talk) 04:42, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
   • "Jedi Knight Seff Hellin, who was suffering from the same disease as Horn, attempted to rescue Horn from the prison": the "Horn"s are slightly redundant here; try to see if you can replace one. CC7567 ^(talk) 08:04, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
     • Replaced. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Jujiggum) 11:58, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments

• Not an objection, but you ought to unstiffen the prose in the bio some. Change it up a bit. Graestan^(Talk) 03:33, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
  • I changed some things around a bit; reworded a few things here and there. Feel free to change anything you see fit. Thanks! Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Jujiggum) 03:52, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:11, 31 May 2009 (UTC)