- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
New Republic task force (Kal'Shebbol)
- Nominated by: Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 23:49, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: DarkStryder + Boredom = this nom. Enjoy :P
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 20:56, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Once you're done with all the battles, you'll nominate the remaining characters of the Command crew? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:18, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
Grunny (talk) 02:39, April 9, 2010 (UTC)- Cav's DarkStryder stuff = good read. -- 1358 (Talk) 04:42, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
CC7567 (talk) 05:00, April 10, 2010 (UTC)- SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 13:18, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
Object
- Skippy: Let's Kathol
Intro: "The task force battled Sarne's forces, but were unable to prevent the Moff from escaping the planet when Page's Commandos were successful in lowering the shields, allowing the New Republic to take Kal'Shebbol. " Four important events in the same sentence. Also: Suggests that the task force's failure to stop the Moff was decisive in the New Republic victory. Could please reword it?- Broken up, reworded a little.
Intro "was given three days" Three days of what? R&R? Training? Briefing?- Contextified.
Hist: If "time" was linked in the intro, why is it unlinked in 2nd paragraph? Ditto for the admiral; watch that linking.- Linked and linked.
Hist: Context on Virgilio- Changed to "New Republic officer Sarin Virgilio"
Hist: Are you looking for Petty officer instead of Petty Officer?- Probably. The source capitalises it though, so I pipelinked.
- Yes but, when will we see the battle of Kathol? Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:03, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, judging by the semi-chronological progression of the noms, I foresee the Battle of Kathol being produced around November 2011 :P - Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 20:45, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, judging by the semi-chronological progression of the noms, I foresee the Battle of Kathol being produced around November 2011 :P - Cavalier One
- Soresu
Shouldn't the NR Navy be in the Affiliation field?- The Navy is the Defense Force. It's a combined service. The redirect for New Republic Navy points to the Defense Fleet, which is the common name for the navy as part of the Defense Force. Confusing, I know.
The task force arrived in the Kal'Shebbol system at a specific time, which allowed a freighter carrying elements of Page's Commandos to infiltrate the planet and bring down the planetary shields. The task force battled Sarne's forces, but were unable to prevent the Moff from escaping the planet in the Carrack-class light cruiser Ambition. However, despite this setback, Page's Commandos were successful in lowering the shields, allowing the New Republic to take Kal'Shebbol. The chronology is unclear here. From what I see, the task force arrives, the commandos take out the shield, the forces begin to engage, Sarne escapes, shields are lowered (again), and Kal'Shebbol is captured. This contradicts the timeline in the body. Please clarify.- Clarified.
Again, in the body, it sounds like the shields are lowered by the commandos before the force proceeds to bombard the shields. After that, the commandos lower the shield again?- No, it tells you the battleplan is to lower the shields, then tells you it is done.
- One thing left: Does Sarne escape before or after the shields are lowered? In the body it sounds like after; in the intro it is before. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 21:46, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Rejigged. Should be good now. - Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 08:10, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
- Rejigged. Should be good now. - Cavalier One
- One thing left: Does Sarne escape before or after the shields are lowered? In the body it sounds like after; in the intro it is before. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 21:46, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- No, it tells you the battleplan is to lower the shields, then tells you it is done.
Lieutenant Page, the planner of the mission, wanted the Admiral in command to release a ship from his task force to undertake the mission, but the Admiral refused. Unclear which admiral it refers to, and it sounds like "the mission" refers to Ackbar's mission to defeat the rogue Imperial.SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 03:10, April 9, 2010 (UTC)- Clarified. - Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 21:36, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
- Clarified. - Cavalier One
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 17:43, April 14, 2010 (UTC)