Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Moogan/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Moogan

  • Nominated by: Riffsyphon1024 08:56, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Bumped up to GAN due to word count over 250 words, after previous CAN nomination.

(4 ACs/3 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Assuming the sectioning question gets sorted, and I'm sure it will. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 05:50, July 1, 2011 (UTC)
  2. ACvote—Tommy 9281 Friday, July 1, 2011, 23:39 UTC
  3. ACvote Kilson(Let's have a chat) 01:59, July 2, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Excellent article, Rs, and sorry if my review seemed never-ending. I hope you'll consider more species (from Clone Wars or otherwise) in the future. :) ~SavageBOB sig 14:52, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
    I'd be lying if I said it didn't seem like an eternity. But it's only my first time. ;) -- Riffsyphon1024 10:27, July 16, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote --Eyrezer 02:19, July 17, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Redundant vote is redundant :P JangFett (Talk) 02:15, July 19, 2011 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Nice work. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:54, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Kilson
  • No quotes?
    • Added one that exemplifies the greed factor.
  • We don't use Eras templates for species articles, because they are considered "timeless."
    • Removed.
  • In the infobox and body, when you mention colors, such as "green", you have to pipelink it to either the Color article or the Green (disambiguation) article.
    • Both linked.
  • In the Intro, "A group of Moogans arrived at Mandalore in order to distribute bottled tea with a chemical inside, which when mixed would increase their profits." You need to mention a time frame here, such as "during the Clone Wars" or "Circa 21 BBY." Also, you can insert another sentence saying that their operation was eventually thwarted by Satine Kryze and Padmé Amidala.
    • Time and info added.
  • The same thing applies for the Moogans in the galaxy section. Please mention the year all this took place and the fact that they were stopped and arrested by the New Mandalorians.
    • Time frame added.
  • In the History section, give some context on Almec.
    • Title of Almec given to indicate level of corruption.
  • Also, give some context on the Borderland Regions, i.e. they had split loyalties between the Empire and the New Republic.
    • Worked around in the following sentence.
  • "The Perkell sector held out for several years until the Yuuzhan Vong War, in which the nearby Aargonar system was specifically attacked." A few things here. First, "held out" sounds as if it the Perkell sector was fighting against something or trying to prevent invasion. It would better to say the sector "remained independent" or something along those lines. Also, please specify that the Vong attacked the Aargonar system, as it is unclear in the way you phrased the sentence.
    • Unclear sentences touched up.
      • I rephrased it a bit to sound better. What do you think?
  • "It was unclear if Mooga was one of the conquered worlds, however many worlds surrounding the system were under Yuuzhan Vong control." This sentence sounds speculative. Try rephrasing it to make it sound less so, such as, "A number or worlds around Mooga were conquered by the Yuuzhan Vong." or something along those lines.
    • Rephrased.
  • After you have addressed these, I'll re-review. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 12:14, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
    • Should be more bearable this time. Thanks! -- Riffsyphon1024 07:40, June 27, 2011 (UTC)
  • You need to ref the "Circa 21 BBY," to the Star Wars Annual 2011.
  • I think the majority of the second paragraph of the History section belongs in the Moogans in the galaxy section. However, I am not an expert on Species articles my any means, so I think you should not change that part of the article before you get a few more opinions, especially from a User that knows Species articles better.
    • Yeah, I was feeling there was some redundancy within the body on the one event that we saw in the Clone Wars. Not changing just yet then. -- Riffsyphon1024 06:00, June 29, 2011 (UTC)
      • I'll hold off my support till we find a solution to this. I hope that is OK. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 02:00, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
        • Hmm, how long will this go without activity... I'll ask Eyrezer for existence, as he seems to have background with species articles. -- Riffsyphon1024 07:41, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
          • Expanded the Moogans in the Galaxy section with more details, to compare against. -- Riffsyphon1024 05:42, July 1, 2011 (UTC)
            • I like the way it is currently. It details the activities of the Moogan in the MitG section, but does draw the connections with Moogan contact with the galaxy in the History section. --Eyrezer 08:11, July 1, 2011 (UTC)
              • So a little bit of redundancy between paragraphs is okay then? -- Riffsyphon1024 04:45, July 2, 2011 (UTC)
  • Otherwise, nice job. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 19:21, June 28, 2011 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • I think the intro could use some small expansion. 1358 (Talk) 22:44, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
    • I added a bit more about the events on Mandalore. -- Riffsyphon1024 05:42, July 1, 2011 (UTC)
Jangsworth
  • I think the reference notes relating to TEA could benefit page numbers. Since you mention quite a few of page headers from the book, perhaps if you add page numbers instead, it would work better.
    • I agree, though the page headers refer to specific maps and perhaps I could list both. -- Riffsyphon1024 06:53, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
      • Yeah, that's fine.
  • I'll go ahead and look at the article more closely later on. :) JangFett (Talk) 17:56, July 2, 2011 (UTC)
    • Don't take too long. ;) -- Riffsyphon1024 06:53, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
      • Might wait for Bob to finish his objections. :P If not, I'll take a look at the article (probably) today. JangFett (Talk) 15:49, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
Prepare to be savaged…
  • Lead: I'd be hesitant to state that the entire species had a proclivity for headdresses and sandals; maybe change to "The species had four-fingered hands and feet and green skin, and a at least some had a proclivity for..."
  • Lead: Four-fingered feet? Maybe change to "hands and feet with four digits each" or something.
  • Lead: It's probably worth mentioning in the lead that the group you refer to was associated with Tee Va.
  • Lead: Context on Mandalore. Should be enough to call it a planet.
    • Planetary status confirmed. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • Lead: I think the tea mixture is a bit confused in the lead. Didn't they deliver the chemical slabin or whatever, but not the tea? Or did they deliver both the tea and the chemical? Either way, wasn't the poisonous mixture created on Mandalore and not before they made delivery?
  • Lead: "the capital of Sundari." Again, context. Here, maybe insert an "of Mandalore" just to be clear.
    • "New Mandalorian capital", perhaps? -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • Lead: Context on Kryze and Amidala.
  • Lead: The last "they" is ambiguous, and could refer to Kryze and Satine as it stands.
    • Now referring to smugglers. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • Infobox: Can we really say headdresses and tunics are a distinction of this species? We're not sure Tee Va's group is representative in this respect. Maybe "green skin" or "thin bodies" would be more appropriate?
    • Thought green skin was redundant in the infobox, so I went with "tall, thin bodies" -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • Infobox: Similarly, can we say that their native language is Basic? We don't know whether Tee Va's group is speaking their first language or only using Basic to communicate with the Humans of Mandalore.
    • Then I take it the infobox refers to the Primary Language. If so, then that can removed, altogether? -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
      • I defined the usage in the text a little better. -- Riffsyphon1024 07:14, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • B&A: Is there any reason to believe that Tee Va's sharp teeth are unique to him and not a species trait? With cultural things, like clothing, I'm often reluctant to ascribe a certain style to an entire species, but with biological things like teeth, we're safer to make such associations, I think.
  • S&C: The first two sentences leave it ambiguous whether the bribery bit applies only to Tee Va's group or to the species as a whole. Using the info from the Clone Wars magazine, I think it'd be safe to assign that characteristic to the whole species, but this should be clarified in the wording.
    • This has also been reworked. -- Riffsyphon1024 05:39, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • S&C: Similarly, the last few sentences of the section should be explicitly assigned to Tee Va's group and not the species as a whole, since the UK magazine doesn't mention those as species-wide traits, and we don't know how representative Tee Va's group is in these respects.
    • I may need to request a line by line transcript of the material in the UK magazine... -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
      • This has been reworked too. -- Riffsyphon1024 05:39, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • History: When using Atlas maps, be careful about saying they were aligned with such-and-such a faction or controlled by such-and-such group. Unless their system is depicted on the map in question, the best we can do is to say they were located within territory controlled by such-and-such faction. In particular, I question whether we can outright claim they were controlled by the Commerce Guild or the Seps unless the episode itself states this.
    • IIRC, the episode "Corruption" clearly stated Mooga was under Commerce Guild control. -- Riffsyphon1024 07:01, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • History: "duration of its rule." The "its" here is ambiguous. Does it refer to Mooga or the Empire?
  • History: Again, not sure we can claim they were controlled by the Sith, but we can say they fell within space that was controlled by the Sith. :)
  • MITG: Context on Kryze and Amidala.
  • MITG: Probably worth mentioning the Gotal flunkies a bit earlier, as they are with the Moogans from the beginning, not just when they go to the warehouse.
  • MITG: Articles (or red links) for the warehouse they were in and for the Mandalorian police force might be in order.
    • Redlinks hurt, but did link to "Mandalorian police" -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • MITG: What happened to the other Moogans and Gotals in the warehouse? Were they arrested? The article currently doesn't say.
  • BTS: Can you say here how the Clone Wars online game references the Moogans? I take it they don't actually "appear", but it's worth spelling out their role in the game.
    • It's Tee Va's outfit. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
      • Can you elaborate a bit further? Does that mean the player can dress up as Tee Va? If so, does this do anything aside from change the PC's outward appearance? ~SavageBOB sig 20:07, July 11, 2011 (UTC)
        • The problem is that it's the only thing I know about with the game. I don't personally own the game, so I'm hoping someone that does can verify the information. -- Riffsyphon1024 06:36, July 14, 2011 (UTC)
  • BTS: I agree with the last line of the BTS, but I wonder if it's speculation for us to state any connection to the Ancient Egyptians without an official source making the connection. That's all for now. Nice work, and I'll check it out again once these have been addressed. :) ~SavageBOB sig 19:10, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
    • Bob, ouch. But I'm right on top of these. -- Riffsyphon1024 06:59, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
      • Errr, dancing around the obvious has been problematic. Hope these changes help. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:24, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
        • I de-speculated it a bit more. Still a bit uncomfortable with it, but I'm not opposing on this ground anymore. ~SavageBOB sig 20:07, July 11, 2011 (UTC)
        • Me wonders if this is now beginning to reach 1000 words and the GA limit. FAN? -- Riffsyphon1024 07:14, July 6, 2011 (UTC)
          • There's nothing wrong with keeping it here until it passes and then moving it over. Might as well wait a bit longer; you've almost passed as it is. :) ~SavageBOB sig 20:07, July 11, 2011 (UTC)
  • One more thing: The skirmish at the cargo bay between the Mandos and the Moogans probably deserves an article. ~SavageBOB sig 20:07, July 11, 2011 (UTC)
    • Yes that is a possibility. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:55, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the copy-edit. I did not realize there still needed to be so many changes. I am now working on an article for the skirmish. -- Riffsyphon1024 06:43, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
        • No worries. Now all that remains is a better explanation of Tee Va's outfit in the game (my one unstruck objection above). I'll support after that! ~SavageBOB sig 13:44, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
          • See above. This may still take a while... -- Riffsyphon1024 06:36, July 14, 2011 (UTC)
            • OK, good luck. There are several "Clone Wars Adventures" forums available with a Google search, so maybe try one of those. I'll be watching the page and will happily support once the Tee Va outfit thing is fleshed out. (Who knows: maybe the description of the outfit will outright say that it's typical of the species as a whole, and not just Tee Va's group?) ~SavageBOB sig 14:39, July 14, 2011 (UTC)
            • Here are some links that help explain it: "outfits" in CWA; Tee Va's outfit is in a catch-all category; pieces that make up the outfit; rough date for when the outfit was added to the game. From this info, you can pretty much determine that the outfit is purely cosmetic, that it consists of a headdress, robe, and sandals that must be bought separately. Probably nothing more than that warrants adding to the article. It still might be worth a post on one of the CWA forums to make sure there's no in-game encyclopedia or something with info on Tee Va or Moogans. Let me know if/when you can do that, and I'll be satisfied. ~SavageBOB sig 15:01, July 14, 2011 (UTC)
            • Strike that; add the above info and I'll be satisfied. I still think it's worth checking whether there's some sort of description for the items, but I won't object over it. ~SavageBOB sig 04:31, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
              • Updated. Hope this meets your approval. :) -- Riffsyphon1024 10:06, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • P/T quote needs to be formatted correctly. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:58, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
    • Could you be a little more specific, Tope? -- Riffsyphon1024 10:26, July 16, 2011 (UTC)
      • Tope, I believe you are referring to a Personality and Traits section, which this article, as a species, does not contain. Sure you didn't mean to post this on another GAN? -- Riffsyphon1024 07:42, July 17, 2011 (UTC)
        • He's referring to the quote in Moogans in the galaxy section. It needs to use the {{Quote}} template, not {{Dialogue}}, per the manual of style. Grunny (talk) 07:44, July 17, 2011 (UTC)
          • Okay, it has been figured out. I'm not sure I like the ugly break hack needed to make the quote template behave like a dialogue template though. And yes I know that I voted for it. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:38, July 17, 2011 (UTC)
  • Please reload the infobox code, which has had new parameters added to it since this nomination. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:15, July 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • I should amend this objection by clarifying that the missing field has been added, but whoever added it put it in the wrong spot. This needs to be revised. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:18, July 18, 2011 (UTC)
  • This referencing is problematic, as it essentially asserts that this entire sentence can be cited to the Essential Atlas Online Companion. However, there is nothing the companion that asserts that "The Moogans originated on the planet Mooga." An appropriate reference should be placed after that clause. "The Moogans originated on the planet Mooga, in the Mooga system of the Perkell sector, located along the northeastern border of the Mid Rim.[5]"
  • Additionally, we have a specific citation template for the Online Companion. It can be found in many status articles if you are unfamiliar with it. Please employ it for that reference.
  • I notice that each of the article's reference notes pertaining to the Atlas contains an accompanying page and section header for reference, except for reference 11. Can we not add one for that reference as well?
  • Can we find a place to insert at least one paragraph break in the "Moogans in the galaxy" section? It becomes a rather bulky block of text to read through and would benefit from a division.
  • I find the attribution line for the "Moogans in the galaxy" section quote, reading "The second transaction between a customs official and the smugglers," to be somewhat confusing. It's not immediately clear what "the second transaction" is referring to, either in regards to something discussed in actual article text or someplace else on the page. I would recommend finding a different way to attribute that line by just stating definitively who is speaking and not mentioning sequential transactions.
  • If we can't otherwise use the TCWA template to incorporate reference 17, I would recommend instead using a citeweb template to avoid the generic external link. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:32, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
    • Citeweb activated. Please check the article again. -- Riffsyphon1024 05:28, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
      • Made some formatting changes to the citeweb template. Looking good all-around. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:39, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:54, July 23, 2011 (UTC)


  • And here's the archived CAN. –Tm_T (Talk) 13:32, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • I'm not going to make this an objection since I won't be here for a while to check it, but I'm sure that there are several more quotes that can be added to the article from "Corruption." Tee Va says a lot, and you can probably add them in as relevant quotes if you take another look at the episode. CC7567 (talk) 23:18, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
    • There are three quotes in this article now, with one of them being a dialogue. -- Riffsyphon1024 06:10, July 7, 2011 (UTC)
      • Curious. Did this grading process just die? -- Riffsyphon1024 08:00, July 11, 2011 (UTC)