Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mission to Onderon (Galactic Civil War)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mission to Onderon (Galactic Civil War)

  • Nominated by: Stake black msg 21:13, February 2, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I may be a bit rusty, but let's give it a go.

(5 ACs/2 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Winterz (talk) 17:53, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 23:47, March 18, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:07, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:01, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 08:51, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
  6. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:50, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:09, March 27, 2014 (UTC)

Object

We shall clean the dirt then!
  • The name is conjectural so you should probably just bold "mission" in the intro.
  • In the infobox, failure of what? Be more specific, please.
  • Why the "" for Rebel Alliance in the intro? Also, I would suggest changing such context to the body (and then replacing the "Rebel" assessments in the intro for "Alliance".
  • "After the Rebel cell encharged with the mission accidentally gave away their position", whose position? You need to identify the specific unit before you bring this up.
  • Context on the GCW is also warranted in the body, sir.
  • This article needs to have appearances or sources listed. Star Wars: Edge of the Empire seems like it (and then get rid of the external link) unless I missunderstood it. Use the {{C}} template if you need to, but find a way! ;)
  • In the body, get rid of the brackets and whatever is within them.
  • More soon. Winterz (talk) 00:50, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • Addressed. I kept the Alliance to Restore the Republic-Rebel Alliance disambig so that I would be less repetitive. Stake black msg 18:55, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
  • I'm not comfortable with the date usage as it relies on speculation about two unrelated events. Other sources have clearly shown some form of Alliance operating well before 2 BBY. I would remove all references to the date. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:36, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done. I have kept the 2 ABY thing in the Aftermath section as it is a very reasonable assumption that the Rebels would not do a recon mission after they kicked out the Imps from the planet. Stake black msg 10:13, February 28, 2014 (UTC)
      • Except the source does not explicitly state that the Empire was kicked off Onderon. And recon after the fact to determine casualties and the like is plausible as well. The assumption is dangerous one. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 18:56, March 6, 2014 (UTC)
  • I'm a little confused - is the Mission to Onderon specifically mentioned in the Long Arm of the Hutt adventure pdf, or only in the Sasha character folio? Because if its only in the latter, then should Long Arm of the Hutt be used as a source? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 21:42, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yeah, it's a bit confusing to me as well, but this mission is only mentioned in the folio. Probably shouldn't. I only added it in as Winterz asked for it. Would it be ok to add the folio as a source? Stake black msg 14:56, March 18, 2014 (UTC)
      • I would say yes to adding it as a source - do we have some type of citation template to link to the FFG site with info like say, {{WizardsCite}}? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 13:54, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
        • Unfortunately not. I've removed the External links section, then. Stake black msg 14:03, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Lee's charge
  • If you mention Onderon being in the Inner Rim twice, please mention it also in the infobox.
    • That's not a standard requirement, really. See Mission to Coruscant (Desolator crisis) as an example.
      • Yes, but if you believe it is relevant to mention it in the body (and source it extra), then it should be in the infobox too. I'm striking this nevertheless.
  • During the operation, an Alliance cell encharged with the mission accidentally gave away their position to Imperial forces on the planet. The Empire responded with heavy fire, prompting Rebel command to evacuate and abandon the unit to their own devices.: I find this confusing, as you never state that the Imperials found and attacked the Rebels. Could you elaborate a little more?
    • Um, I kept it short for two reasons: firstly, it's just an introduction, so it doesn't have to be overly specific, second, the source material is also very brief about this. I reworded slightly, although to me it still seems clear from the paragraph that the Empire attacked the Rebels after the Rebels gave away their position. I didn't repeat the word "Rebels" to avoid repetitiveness.
      • If you would only say that the Imperials reacted by attacking the rebels it would be clearer. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:40, March 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • You mention AT-STs in the body, they need to be in the infobox. The same goes for the "heavy artillery".
    • Unfortunately there is no field in the mission infobox where I can put that, unlike in the battle infobox.
      • What about the "Participants" field?
  • The Imperials in turn responded with heavy artillery and sent a division of All Terrain Scout Transports to their last known position. This mistake was critical: It sound like the Imperials made a mistake by sending the AT-STs. Please reword.
    • Reworded.
  • Is there a reason why The Long Arm of the Hutt is not italicized in the BtS and in the "Sources" section?
    • Honestly, I don't know if it should be italicized or not. The LAOTH article has it between "". It's rather confusing.
      • All the other titles in the series are italicized too, so I would suggest to do it here two. I see no reason why it should not be italicized.
  • Good job. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:48, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • Cheers! Stake black msg 14:08, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • How's that now? I've kept "heavy artillery" off the "Participants" section because... well, it's not a participant. Stake black msg 14:50, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • Please watch both your grammar and linking. There were a number of missing words, underlinking, and double-linking. Stuff like city and artillery.
  • Is "Scout" supposed to be capitalized? Seems odd.
  • "only Human female Scout Sasha survived." Firstly, you're missing a word here, and secondly, is the stuff about her species and gender really necessary?
  • Shouldn't the artillery be mentioned in the infobox?
  • Please break up the first sentence of the BTS. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 17:41, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review, Cade. Have a second look. Stake black msg 23:15, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • There is a competing article for this title at Mission to Onderon (Old Sith Wars). Since both titles are conjectural, this article should be renamed. I would suggest either "Mission to Onderon (Galactic Civil War)" or "Mission to Onderon (Rebel Alliance)." Or, since the source refers to this as a "recon mission on the planet Onderon," another, possibly better, option is "Mission on Onderon." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:32, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • This article's eras template places this event in the Rebellion era; what evidence is there to support this? The Rebellion era doesn't begin until immediately before the events of ANH, meaning some of the Rebellion's existence and the Galactic Civil War take place in the Rise of the Empire era. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:40, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
    • You're right. No evidence of the sort is given. I've removed it. Stake black msg 19:46, March 27, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:09, March 27, 2014 (UTC)