Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Lobarorr

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Lobarorr

And another pre-nom! Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 11:45, April 22, 2011 (UTC)
Just fix GMT's objections. MasterFred^(Whatever) 22:14, April 27, 2011 (UTC)
Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 21:55, May 2, 2011 (UTC)
Assuming Xd's bit is handled. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:48, May 4, 2011 (UTC)
1358 ^(Talk) 20:21, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

I feel that the intro and the second paragraph of the bio should be condensed somewhat to focus more on Lobarorr and less on Takook and his father. Right now, it reads too much like a summary of the quest he is involved in. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 23:49, April 26, 2011 (UTC)
- Alright, I believe I've done as you asked. OLIOSTER ^(talk) 17:54, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
  - The intro is good now, but I would suggest removing the sentence "The spacer returned the weapon to Chatook, but the Wookiee insisted that the spacer keep it," as it doesn't have anything to do with Lobarorr. As far as the second paragraph of the bio goes, I'd like to see the majority of it rewritten to be from Lobarorr's point-of-view, as opposed to Chatook's or the spacer's. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 20:48, April 28, 2011 (UTC)
    - I removed the sentence from the intro but I don't understand your secondary objection. From Lobarorr's point of view, a spacer came and killed him and that's it. OLIOSTER ^(talk) 21:03, April 30, 2011 (UTC)
      - All of these Galaxies Wookiee noms just seem too detailed to me. However, you've trimmed it up nicely, so I'm fine with what's left. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 21:55, May 2, 2011 (UTC)

~~It might be just me, but "His is the final objective of the "Find Missing Son" quest within the game" sounds weird. His what?~~ 1358 ^(Talk) 17:49, May 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Fixed. OLIOSTER ^(talk) 05:47, May 5, 2011 (UTC)

This isn't making sense to me, because the article seems to imply that only the spacer went in search of Lobarorr. Yet this sentence is referring to "their" search. Please revise somehow: "During their search, the spacer found Takook's corpse" Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:41, May 4, 2011 (UTC)
- I misinterpreted the meaning of this sentence, and Xd clarified it for me, so I was able to simply revise this myself. For future clarification, however, "they" and "their" is not considered formally grammatically correct when referring to individuals of ambiguous gender. In formal writing, it's correct to actually say "he or she," but obviously that becomes a bit too speculative for our purposes, so in these situations the writer is put in something of a pickle to find an appropriate way to word it. As I told Menkooroo on a similar objection to this once, just be creative to find a solution. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:48, May 4, 2011 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:21, May 5, 2011 (UTC)