Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Kibnon/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Kibnon

  • Nominated by: --Eyrezer 04:36, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: This is a ~400 word article on a species. Enjoy.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 06:42, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 10:24, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. Well done. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jujiggum) 13:48, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
  4. Will do anything for even a passing reference to the stalk-eyed species.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:46, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 19:54, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 08:59, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Attack of the Clone
    • "which were typically help": held, maybe? Wasn't sure, so I didn't change it.
    • "The Kibnon had two bulbous eyes atop narrow stalks on their heads. A thin antenna grew from each side of their heads": "on their heads," "of their heads," bit repetitive. Please try to reword if possible.
    • Last two sentences of the first section are a bit choppy.
    • "in on the planet Tatooine": in/on, pick one.
    • Context needed for Jabba, only because you mention Pulchatt's boss; it sounds a little off mentioning the boss without saying who Jabba was.
    • "by one of his patients detonating a thermal detonator in an attempt to kill the Doctor": could use rewording, perhaps "when one of his patients detonated..."
    • "another of his artworks": I'm unsure if artworks can be plural (apparently it can), but it just sounds a bit off to me. It could just be me, because I've never heard it used that way. As I'm not sure if it was accidental or intentional, please clarify.
    • CC7567 (talk) 06:03, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
      • Heh. Unfortunately, the spell check didn't pick up the first objection. As to the rest, they should hopefully now be addressed. Vilardi is that good that you can call them artworks, but I changed it to illustrations anyway. :) Thanks for the prompt review. --Eyrezer 06:37, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. The Grand Master
    • "With six limbs and bulbous eyes on stalks" This reads rather confusingly, almost as if it implies that they also had six eyes. Please reword, maybe something like: "…and two bulbous eyes…"
    • Context for Sinthia Pulchatt. Not a lot is needed, just enough that the reader has a general idea of who she is.
    • "that were experimented on by Doctor Cornelius Evazan" This is pretty awkward, please reword.
      • I really don't see how this is awkward, but I've made a change anyway.
        • It was just the way that "experimented on" was used that didn't flow; but it's fine now.
    • "one of his patients detonated a thermal detonator" This reads rather redundantly; I'd suggest using something else for "detonated"
    • Good work. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jujiggum) 12:37, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
      • Should all be taken care of. --Eyrezer 05:41, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. Skippy after the alien speices:
    • Not exactly required but: could you please write some reference to the Kibnon under Verpine (as both species are related) and Ando (as the planet apparently had a population of Kibnon)? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:32, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
      • Lol. Now that is a very sneaky "objection," but I don't mind doing it anyway :P Actually, I won't add a mention on Ando, as it is not so much that there was a population there, as at least two were experimented on by Evazan, possibly taken from off-world. --Eyrezer 06:55, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments