Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Galen Besk

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Galen Besk

  • Nominated by: —Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 03:35, April 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Second Good Article nomination... Galen just seemed like an easier character to write.

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Coruscantfan (Talk) 01:31, April 15, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:35, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Trak Nar Ramble on 04:18, May 14, 2012 (UTC)
  4. ACvote—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 02:49, May 17, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Plagueis327 22:03, May 18, 2012 (UTC)
  6. —Jedi Kasra (comlink) 06:53, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  7. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 23:19, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Boom, baby. Menkooroo 04:20, May 22, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Please expand the intro and mention the events from the body.
    • Done.
      • Here there is still a plural form.
        • Done.
  • You give "None" as hair color in the infobox, but in the picture it look likes he actually has some hair.
    • Whoops. Done.
  • Mention his gender and species in the intro.
    • Alreay did in the second sentence of the intro
  • Galen decided to hang up his lightsaber: Sounds rather un-encyclopedic, please reword.
    • Done.
  • and likely his natural Miralukan Force sense: Seems to be speculation and should therefore be removed if it is not stated that way in the source.
  • A date for the events in the bio?
    • Done.
  • When he warned a Republic-allied individual about a sandstorm, the individual offered to help get people inside. : Inside of what?
    • Done.
  • Please use "Besk" instead of "Galen" throughout the article.
    • Done.
  • He asked them: You only mentioned one person before.
    • Done.
      • Still several uses of plural.
        • Done.
  • Underlinking in the body.
    • Done.
  • Context for Sand People.
    • Done.
      • This remains.
        • Added "native".
  • using the individual's feelings of responsibility to guilt them into helping: Once again, you use "them". Plus can we really say that someone can guilt someone into doing something?
    • Done.
      • Please vary your use of "the individual".
        • Operative, hero, agent... I'm running out of words :)
  • Context for the Jundland Wastes, Geonosians and Manister Base.
    • Done.
  • Mention the stuff about his hair in the P&T.
    • Done.
  • massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG): The stuff in the bracket seems pretty unneccessary.
    • Done. —Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 19:08, April 8, 2012 (UTC)
      • This remains.
        • Whoops - did it on another article.
  • More to come probably. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:05, April 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • Source the bio paragraph.
Coruscantfan
  • His training allowed him to quickly assume a leadership role among his fellow settlers. His power in the Force, and his position allowed him to remain aware of major events on the planet. The usage of allowed him and of His training... His power makes the two sentences repetative if you could rework them.
  • Besk asked the individual to stop the saboteurs, using the operative's feelings of responsibility to convince the individual to help. If you're wanting to switch the names you give for the character that's fine, but changing it so many times within a sentence can become confusing. If you can pick one and restructure the sentence a little, it should flow better.
  • I noticed in several places that you double spaced after ending a sentence. For our purposes you don't need to that in articles.
  • That's all for me :) Coruscantfan (Talk) 03:14, April 13, 2012 (UTC)
Kasra
  • Just one, could you add the fact that Tatooine was in the Outer Rim in the intro?—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:21, May 20, 2012 (UTC)
Galen
  • In the infobox: I always object when I see "formerly" used in the affiliation field. Infoboxes are supposed to represent as much of the character's life as we know, not the instant in time when they appear in canon. Characters who go from one organization to another shouldn't have whatever is "most recent" take precedence. Does that make sense?
    • I see your point, but... phooie.
  • Ditto categories. If someone defects from one organization to another, the categories still represent their entire life.
    • Woops, forgot those.
  • "The individual" becomes "the hero" early on in the bio without any real indication as to why s/he's a "hero." Is s/he the Hero of Tython? It kind of comes out of nowhere, currently.
    • Hmm.. It's all four classes. Lemme get rid of some of the heroes until the end.... Done.
  • "the planet would be able to better stand up against..." Should this be "the citizens?" Kind of weird imagining Tatooine itself standing up to Tusken Raiders.
    • Done.
  • I haven't played TOR, but I just want to confirm: Can "Like many of his species" in the P&t be sourced to the game? Menkooroo 02:40, May 22, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 22:01, May 22, 2012 (UTC)


  • I did a copy-edit, fixed some wording, links, and added {{DEFAULTSORT}} and the appropriate categories. However, since I am not very knowledgeable about the game, I cannot really comment if anything needs added or tweaked. Thus, I'm only commenting. Looks solid after I went through with it. I'll add my vote. Trak Nar Ramble on 04:17, May 14, 2012 (UTC)