Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Davan

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Davan

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Nice job! RattsT (talk) 11:28, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Interesting read, good work! --TK-462 (talk) 02:44, April 10, 2020 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Love me some live-action noms. 1358 (Talk) 17:31, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  4. --Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:34, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  5. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:36, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  6. Good work--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:47, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Tommy-Macaroni 16:27, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Objections handled via IRC. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 23:55, May 4, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ratts
  • No year in the intro.
  • "... Xi'an threw a dagger and killed him, but not before activating the beacon..." makes it sound like Xi'an activated the beacon.
  • You can expand a little on the events following his death. Did the mercenaries succeed? Why wasn't Djarin on the ship anymore? What did the X-wings do?
  • Maybe work in the quote of Mayfeld mocking his uniform.
  • There's a fragment in the equipment section, "and Davan's designation, "DC1," in Aurebesh on the side." RattsT (talk) 06:14, March 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should mention why the homing beacon is threatening. They don't want to kill him until after he pulls it out. RattsT (talk) 10:52, March 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should include a mention of Davan's corpse. It's still in the room when Mando and Burg fight after the betrayal. Can also mention in the BTS that his body's in a different place than when he died. RattsT (talk) 20:54, March 27, 2020 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • I found an interview where Lanter talks about his role, including how he initally got it as well as some costume details. This should all be added to the BTS. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:23, March 27, 2020 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Please check your image caption punctuation.
  • "When a team of mercenaries infiltrated the transport around 9 ABY, they found Davan at the control room." Two things: one, you should strive to write sentences in a way where the subject of the article is the subject of the sentence, i.e. Davan was present when blah blah rather than the mercenaries found Davan. Second, I think the reason why the mercenaries infiltrated ship in the first place is worth mentioning in the intro.
  • "The remaining mercenary, Xi'an, then threw a dagger at the soldier, killing him instantly, but not before he activated the beacon." How could he activate the beacon if he was instantly killed? This is contradictory.
  • "Davan, stammering, stated his name during the standoff, but was ultimately killed by Xi'an." This reads as if he was killed despite him stating his name, but there really is no correlation there. 1358 (Talk) 17:29, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
    • Removed the second clause as it does not contribute to describing his personality or traits. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 18:01, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please check your {{Cite_web}} references. You can definitely fill in more fields, including dates and author names.
    • Added more details. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:09, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • The standard when citing something is to use Lastname, Firstname (i.e. use |last= and |first= rather than |author=). 1358 (Talk) 20:08, April 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • Done. I'm gonna verify my changes for un-slashed objection below tomorrow. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:53, April 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • The MoS mandates that compound terms not be separated upon first linking instance. If "New Republic soldier" is indeed not a conjectural name (based on the lack of {{conjecture}} on said article), then you should not be separating the links in the first sentence of the introduction.
    • Does this look better? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:09, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • Please re-read this sentence. It might have been my rewording earlier that confused you but your rewording now has made the sentence not work as it is. In general, pay attention when copyediting—your recent edit says "When the Din Djarin". 1358 (Talk) 20:08, April 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • I've reworded the lead sentence. I hope this looks better for you. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 10:26, April 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think it's worth clarifying in the bio that Mayfeld led the team, in order to explain why Mayfeld intervening in the debate is significant.
  • "The Mandalorian attempted to reason with him, asking for his name. Davan, stammering, stated his name during the standoff." Could you see if there's a way to combine these sentences? The last clause of the second sentence in particular reads really weird. 1358 (Talk) 17:38, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • In the intro DC1 is not in quotations, but in the body it is. Please make this consistent, in accordance with that the subtitles use.
  • I don't think we should be assuming it was an Imperial officer's disk. Sources refer to that as just an "officer's disk", and it's probable they were used by organisations outside of the Empire.
  • I recommend subsectioning the BTS and splitting that last paragraph. Something like "Notable appearances" and "Lanter's portrayal" or something.
    • All three addressed. But the final BTS paragraph is too small to split in my opintion. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:52, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • I've taken the last sentence off the end and added it to the first section, as I think it makes more sense there and also to even out the paragraphs. Tommy-Macaroni 16:05, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reviewing note: an ellipsis should not be written out, it should use &hellip. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 11:35, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Think it was Fred who did that, but I should have noticed it regardless, thanks for letting me know. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:54, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah okay. But yeah, always a good idea to check people's copy-edits for errors. Tommy-Macaroni 16:05, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Concerting that copy-edit, are these quotes taken from the show's subtitles? Tommy-Macaroni 16:05, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • I believe so. I derived them from the audio, another mistake of mine, and so Fred fixed them today or yesterday with more accurate speech. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 16:10, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Cool, just so long as you've checked those against the subtitles. Tommy-Macaroni 16:27, May 2, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:55, May 4, 2020 (UTC)