Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Darth Malgus's personal shuttle

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Malgus's personal shuttle

• Nominated by: Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 01:50, July 25, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:Moved up from CAN. In celebration of TOR being on pre-order!

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. Looks good.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 18:44, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
2. Nice job.Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)}
3. —Tommy 9281 Friday, August 5, 2011, 23:34 UTC
4. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 23:12, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
5. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 18:35, August 22, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi

• Did the book say that the ship could only carry one passenger? If it didn't, then I would say something like "At least 1".
  • Got it.
• Shouldn't Darth Malgus be classified as the ship's owner in the infobox?
  • I thought of that, but the book never says that he's the owner. It's more likely that it's Sith Empire property and Malgus just uses it as his own. But, the book doesn't specify that either. So, to prevent speculation, I think we should just leave it blank.
    • You're right, I was just checking.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 18:44, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
• Could you put the ship in Category:Sith starships?--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 17:17, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
  • Done. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 17:53, July 30, 2011 (UTC)

Talrrivanian

• He used it to leave the planet Alderaan after the battle on that planet... this sentence in the introduction is pretty choppy, please revise.
  • Done.
• Otherwise good article Cal--Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)} 14:23, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 14:34, August 3, 2011 (UTC)

Sithisis

• See about tying up the "History" section up a bit so that the shuttle is more of the subject. It currently reads like a story about Malgus and the shuttle, instead of the reverse.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, August 3, 2011, 14:58 UTC
  • Hmm, could you maybe explain a little bit more of what part you were talking about that needs to be tied up? I can't see what you want tied up. :S Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 14:57, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
    • The above "It currently reads like a story about Malgus and the shuttle, instead of the reverse" is the explanation.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, August 3, 2011, 14:58 UTC
      • I changed a little bit, I'm sorry for not understanding, but I still don't get what I can change. If you're referring to sentences like "Malgus learned that a Jedi was on Coruscant, the capital planet of the Galactic Republic, and that she would be going to the Jedi Temple", I think that they should be left in there to give the reader understanding of what's going on. But, what do you think? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:06, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
        • "Malgus's shuttle was again used shortly after the Sacking of Coruscant in 3653 BBY. Malgus learned that a Jedi was on Coruscant, the capital planet of the Galactic Republic, and that she would be going to the Jedi Temple. So, he had his pilot take him to the Temple in his shuttle." This can be said in half the words with no less context and with the shuttle as the main subject, as it currently begins.—Tommy 9281 Wednesday, August 3, 2011, 15:17 UTC
          • OK, is that more like what you were looking for? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:21, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
            • Partially. Good work overall, and take note of the changes I made.—Tommy 9281 Friday, August 5, 2011, 23:34 UTC
              • Thanks, I checked it out. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 02:41, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

Moffship

• Missing information from The Old Republic: The Third Lesson. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 19:17, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
  • It's in the first paragraph of the history section. That was my mistake for sourcing it to Deceived. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 20:48, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
    • You'll also need to fix the Appearances section. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 22:40, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
      • My brain must have had a glitch. :p Check it now. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 04:10, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
• After a quick glance, it looks like some more infobox fields could be filled in.
  • How's that?
• "A shuttle was used by the Sith Lord Darth Malgus during, and soon after, the Great Galactic War in 3653 BBY." - This implies the Great Galactic War occurred over the course of one year.
  • Fixed.
    • That doesn't really work, either. It would be better if you included the year next to the relevant battle.
      • For the record/reminder to Cal: This objection hasn't been addressed. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 19:44, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
        • Yea, I'm trying to find a date. I don't beleive there is one, but I'm seeing if I can find one. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:44, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
          • Sorry for the late response on this: there isn't a canon date for Alderaan as of yet, just the "height of the war." It's definitely not long before Coruscant though. Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 20:02, August 15, 2011 (UTC)
            • Thanks for the answer Dark Lord Trayus. Does that take care of your objection, Grand Moff Tranner? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 01:38, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
              • I would still prefer to see the year moved from it current location and placed next to the relevant battle (in this case, the Sacking of Coruscant). Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 01:43, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
                • Done. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:47, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
                  • I made a few adjustments to incorporate the context for the Sacking of Coruscant without the need for a separate clause. Feel free to reword it if necessary. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 23:12, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
• "He used it to leave the planet Alderaan after the recent battle there..." - Recent to what? To 3653 BBY?
  • Done.
    • Please change one of the "Shortly after"s.
      • Done.
• The Description could use some rephrasing. Specifically, the bit about the comm unit would probably work better in a separate sentence, something like "An intership comm unit allowed the pilot to communicate with Malgus..."
  • Got it.
• "An Imperial-aligned shuttle..." - "Aligned" makes it seem that the shuttle had the ability to choose its affiliation; please change this.
  • Fixed.
• Some minor details on why Malgus was after Leneer would be good.
  • Try that.
    • That wasn't really what I was looking for, because her motivation is not relevant to the shuttle. Why was Malgus pursuing her?
      • Ok, see how that is.
• That's all for now. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 15:51, August 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 21:36, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

Cav

• Context for the Sacking of Coruscant needed in the intro.
  • Done.
• I have not read the Third Lesson. Are the shuttles in these sources specifically stated to be the same vehicle? - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:58, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
  • They are both said to be Malgus's shuttle, and it never says that he got a different shuttle. We would have to write a whole new article for the other one, and we don't know that they're not the same. What'd ya think? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:50, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
    • I'm also relatively certain that they're both referred to as his "personal" shuttle. There's no particular reason to believe they are not one in the same. Darth Trayus^{(Trayus Academy)} 07:58, August 18, 2011 (UTC)
      • Great, thanks Trayus! How does that sound to you, Cavalier One? Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 15:27, August 19, 2011 (UTC)
        • Good enough for me. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 18:35, August 22, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:35, August 22, 2011 (UTC)