Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Darth Maleval

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Maleval

  • Nominated by: Grunny (Talk) 07:21, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Second Quarren Sith :)

(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 21:11, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
  2. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 00:33, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
  3. ACvote —Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 16:29, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Cylka-talk- 22:12, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Only one Legacy Quarren Sith left. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 12:19, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Graestan(Talk) 22:04, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. From the Forest of Goodwood:
    • The intro looks like it could be merged into one paragraph.
      • Merged :). Grunny (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Second paragraph of the Bio section reads like it's written from Trask's POV. Please fix.
      • How's that? :) Grunny (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • "Hearing of this, Lord Maleval had learned that Lieutenant Cassel had a brother in the 908th and approached him about his decision." This is a tad confusing; in what order did Baleval learn of the proposal and of Cassel's brother?
      • Woops that is confusing. Fixed. Grunny (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • A lot of the Bio section seems more focused on Joker Squad, and not Maleval himself.
      • How's this? I tried to reword it to focus more on Maleval without losing context of the events that happened. Grunny (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Much better, thank you.--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 21:11, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • TIMMMMBERRRR!--Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 08:07, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
  2. Before he could execute Karr, however, Maleval was shot from behind by Anson Trask. The fact that he was not executed would mean that he was alive, but later on, you say his death was covered up: The death of Darth Maleval was covered up in Joker Squad's report to their superiors, stating that Darth Maleval had been killed in battle, and that Hondo Karr was vaporized in a blast that took out fellow Joker Squad trooper Gistang. He can't have survived and had his death covered up at the same time, can he? SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 07:18, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Woops, I removed that when addressing Goodwood's objections. Fixed. :-) Grunny (Talk) 09:53, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
  3. Uncle Murda:
    • For your mentions of Roan Fel, you call him the Emperor. Yet, you also speak of Darth Krayt's Sith Empire. This leads me to wonder who is the current Emperor? Please clarify, using several words to depict how Fel was still regarded as the Emperor if Krayt held the Empire.
      • Is this enough? Grunny (Talk) 15:20, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
    • This is fun. You make me want to start a TOTJ-style Legacy run.—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 14:08, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
  4. Cylka:
    • [...] which led trooper Hondo Karr into a thoughtless attack on Maleval. - In the intro, I'm not sure "thoughtless" works that well here. In a way it implies that he didn't have a reason for attacking Maleval. Maybe a different word or a slight rewrite would work better.
      • Changed. Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
    • Dark Lord of the Sith is mentioned in the intro, but not in the main body of the article.
    • You mentioned that the Joker Squad debated options after the encounter between Maleval and Karr, but you didn't give the outcome of their debate. Obviously, they stayed, but it might be worth elaborating a bit on their conclusions.
      • Elaborated :). Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
    • A good read, Grunny. Cylka-talk- 20:15, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Cheers Cylka :-). Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
  5. Graestan the Merciless:
    • "Anti-Sith Insurgency" needs context in the intro.
      • Done.
    • The Battle of Borosk needs to be explained a bit more in the intro, laying out its reasons, etc. This plays into my first objection. Basically, just explain it all a bit more chronologically and you're good.
      • How's that? I addressed the above two objections together. I had to reword a little so hopefully its ok now. :) Grunny (Talk) 13:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
    • Was it the 407th or just Joker Squad that carried out the coverup?
      • Well since the only witnesses who survived were Joker Squad members I assumed it would be in their report. Since it isn't explicitly stated in the comic I changed it to reflect the comic's information. Grunny (Talk) 13:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
    • Again, in the bio the background for the events Maleval was involved in is key. Please be more explicit.
      • How's it looking now? Thanks for reviewing, Graestan, let me know if it needs further improvement :-). Grunny (Talk) 13:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
    • Graestan(Talk) 05:58, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
  6. From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
    • "By 137 ABY, when units such as the 908th Stormtrooper Division defected Emperor-in-exile Roan Fel during the Anti-Sith Insurgency." - needs to be made into a complete sentence and clarified.
    • "To ensure their loyalty, Darth Maleval was given command of the 407th Stormtrooper Division..." - as-is, it reads like Maleval was sent to insure the 908th's loyalty.
      • How's that? Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
    • "...which led trooper Hondo Karr, from Joker Squad of the 407th, into attacking Maleval." - needs to be reworded.
      • How's it looking now? :)Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
    • "Before Maleval could execute Karr, he was shot from behind by another trooper, Anson Trask, ending the Sith Lord's life." - I'd drop "ending the Sith Lord's life" and clarify that Maleval was shot and killed, because it's not really evident on who was shot.
      • Addressed. Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
    • "Joker Squad covered up the event in the report to their superiors, stating that both Darth Maleval and Hondo Karr had been killed in battle." - why did they need to cover for Karr? What happened to him? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 00:27, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
      • Addressed. Thanks, Tranner :-). Grunny (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments