Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Darth Azard

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Azard

  • Nominated by: Grunny (Talk) 08:55, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first character nom with help from Tommy9281 :).

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. I find it humorous to imagine you cranking out more Legacy GAs than Tommy. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 09:58, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 23:12, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Pleasure to be of assistance, Grunndawg ;)—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 04:30, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
  4. ACvote - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 13:27, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Graestan(Talk) 07:15, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Soresu
    • Hey Grunny. Nice to see you having a go at another GA. A few things:
      • In the aftermath of the massacre, Azard dueled Imperial Knight Master Treis Sinde which distracted Azard long enough for members of Rogue Squadron and Imperial Knight Sigel Dare. Distracted him long enough for them to do what? Escape?
        • Indeed escape, silly mistake of me. Fixed :). Grunny (Talk) 14:42, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Lord Azard executed the Admiral Dun for his constant failures in the capture of Stazi, despite the constant minor victories he had secured. Double word usage. try to change on of the 'constant's to something else.
      • Context on Gial Gahan.
      • Valan's fleet was devastated and Stazi once again escaped. Once again disgraced Valan gave command to Captain Hoge. Again, double word usage.
        • Corrected. Grunny (Talk) 14:42, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Darth Azard replied to the Quarren, that he was not one the Quarren but a Sith, and cut him down with his lightsaber. Not one the Quarren? Reword.
        • Reworded. Grunny (Talk) 14:42, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
      • As they dueled, Azard commented that Sinde would not be able to defeat them and they both knew it and that he knew Sinde was trying to delay him long enough to allow the shuttle to leave. Break this sentence up and change commented to something else as you have already used it in the previous sentence.
      • With the possible name origin, it would be better to have this: Azard is similar to the English word hazard, meaning danger. This would make it similar to a number of other articles doing this sort of thing, like with Tommy's Darth Reave nom. Remember to source it though.
        • Changed and sourced :-). Grunny (Talk) 14:42, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
    • That's everything I can find. Good luck! SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 10:38, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Thanks SoresuMakashi :-). Grunny (Talk) 14:42, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
  2. From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
    • "Darth Azard replied to the Quarren, that he was not a Quarren, he was a Sith" - could use some rewording. It's obvious he's a Quarren; why does he say that he is not?
      • Does this work? Grunny (Talk) 02:17, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
    • "Both Imperial Knights had placed three explosives within in the starship in order to destroy it but were unaware of Stazi's plans." - "within in"?
      • Woops, removed the "in" :). Grunny (Talk) 02:17, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Fel's sabotage of the Imperious should be mentioned earlier on, in the last paragraph of "The Third Fleet."
    • Monia's name should be mentioned where you refer to her as Gial Gahan's niece; otherwise, people might not make the connection with her later mention as a Rogue Squadron pilot.
    • "The Imperial officer standing outside the shuttle, informed Lord Azard that he had put the Alliance prisoners aboard as per Azard's orders. Realizing the officer had been mind-tricked, Azard cut him down calling him a weak-minded fool and rushed to his shuttle." - looks like a misuse of commas in the first sentence, and a lack of one in the second sentence. Plus, "as per" should probably be just "per".
      • Addressed. Grunny (Talk) 02:17, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
    • "Darth Azard was a skilled wielder of the double-bladed lightsaber in combat, using a unique curved hilt similar to that of Asajj Ventress." - needs a reference for Ventress.
      • Done. Grunny (Talk) 02:17, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
        • One more thing: While Ventress is now referenced, you need a reference for Azard's use of the double-bladed lightsaber. The ref should go after "a unique curved hilt." Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 16:02, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
          • Done :-). Grunny (Talk) 22:22, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
    • P&A could use some minor cleanup. The info on his skill with a lightsaber should be grouped together, and I see a lot of "skill[ed] with the Force" sentences that could be easily combined. And you really don't need to explain every instance he used a specific Force power; for example, you can simply mentioned that he was able to use Force lightning and leave it at that.
      • How's that? Grunny (Talk) 02:17, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Otherwise, it's very good. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 16:38, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Thanks Grand Moff Tranner :-). Grunny (Talk) 02:17, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
  3. Cav's squadron briefing:
    • Context on who Gar Stazi is, and what the Galactic Alliance Remnant is, upon first mention.
      • How's that? :) Grunny (Talk) 13:33, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Context for the Battle of Caamas.
    • You refer to the planet as Mon Calamari, but it is known as Dac throughout the Legacy comics, and on this site. Please amend references to the planet to Dac.
    • You mention at the start of the Massacre of Mon Calamari section that the Mon Cals colluded with the GA, but made no mention of this previously during the Imperious theft.
      • Mentioned. Grunny (Talk) 13:33, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Monia Gahan should be identified as a Rogue Squadron pilot upon her introduction.
    • Context is needed on the prisoners that Sinde and Dare rescue - why are they there? Who are they?
      • Context added. Grunny (Talk) 13:33, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Is there no better picture out there to use in the infobox? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:54, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
      • This is the only other one I can find that shows his full face clearly, what do you think?. Thanks Cavalier One. :-) Grunny (Talk) 13:33, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
  4. The Anvil:
    • In the bio, you don't specifically state anywhere that Azard was a Quarren. You allude to it in the "Massacre on Mon Calamari" section, but it should be clearly stated somewhere towards the beginning of "The Third Fleet" section. Otherwise, I am pleased.—Tommy9281Dark Side Master TotG (Peace is a lie) 21:00, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Done. Thanks for all your help and advice on this one Tommy. :-) Grunny (Talk) 02:28, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
  5. Graestan the Merciless:
    • First two sentences of the intro are a bit redundant with each other; please merge.
      • Merged. :) Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Please point out that Krayt took over the pre-existing Empire in the intro.
    • Mention that Dru Valan had lost Stazi before in the intro; also mention his species.
    • Please explain why the Empire massacred the Calamari in the intro.
    • Please also explain Rogue Squadron's presence and alignment in the intro.
    • The Imperial Knights need context in the intro, as well.
    • I don't believe the names in the first bio quote need to be italicized; they were merely bolded by the comic publishers to emphasize identification of the characters at first mention.
      • Removed. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Referring to Azard as "a loyal member" is a bit of a stretch, given the nature of the Sith.
      • Removed. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Please also explain Krayt's coup of the Empire in the bio.
      • Mentioned. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Please give the class and title for the Relentless
    • I wouldn't mention that Azard executed Dun in one sentence and then describe it again in the next; just describe it thoroughly once.
      • How's that? :) Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Mention Valan's species in the bio. You can even call him a Humanocentrist.
      • Done :). Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Niffla needs some context—who is she? Why is she there?
      • Context added. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Please point out Rogue Squadron's escape and going underground on Dac.
    • I think the "growling in his anger" is a bit much.
      • Removed. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • "like many of the One Sith" needs to be sourced to several other instances of One Sith using Force lightning.
      • Sourced. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • It's OR to leave the name part, even without speculative wording.
      • I removed it. Grunny (Talk) 08:11, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Graestan(Talk) 23:36, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments