Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Crispus Commons

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Crispus Commons

  • Nominated by: ProfessorTofty (talk) 20:56, December 28, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Alright. I've been working on this one and I'm really hoping it's ready or very close to ready. I've got everything referenced, I've checked it against both an existing good article from the same category and the layout guide, and followed the advice gained from my other nominations. I think this one is either good to go or at worst has something small that I missed which I'm sure someone will point out if that's the case. ProfessorTofty (talk) 20:56, December 28, 2014 (UTC)

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. More Canon good articles FTW - AV-6R7User talk:AV-6R7 21:00, December 28, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st
  • You're missing a ref in the infobox.
    • Done.
  • "...launched an attack on the colony..." Which colony?
    • The Commons itself, which the book describes as a sort of "retirement colony." I've edited the article to make that clear.
  • You have intro exclusive info on Skelly. The demolitions expert part should be mentioned in the body as well.
    • Done.
      • Was there something else here? You didn't strike it, but you didn't say anything in response either. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:06, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
        • My bad, forgot to strike.
  • Neither the description or the history mention the facility as Crispus Commons. This should be rectified.
    • Done.
      • Was the facility ever referred to as the Commons?
        • Hmm, no, not specifically. Changed to be more general. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:06, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
  • The part where Skelly cleans out the bomb shelter belongs more in the History, not the description.
    • Done.
  • Context for the Clone Wars would be nice in the body.
    • Done.
      • Um, as far as I recall, the Clone Wars wasn't fought between the Republic and the Empire. :P
        • Heh heh heh. Brain fart. Fixed. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:06, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
          • Better now. :) However, as you are referencing it now, the entire first bit of the Description is reffed to [2], when only the part about the Clone Wars should be to [2]. 501st dogma(talk) 19:11, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
            • Is that enough to fix it, or should I add another for [1] at the end of the sentence that has the [2] in it? ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:23, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
              • The "many of those who served part" should be sourced to [1], so you can just move the [1] before that to just after "during" or "this." 501st dogma(talk) 22:05, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
  • "...the uncaring Galactic Empire did not provide any..." "Uncaring" shouldn't be used in this case, as it doesn't give us a neutral point of view.
    • Done.
  • Is an article for Skelly's attack on Vidian warranted? 501st dogma(talk) 22:51, January 4, 2015 (UTC)
    • Hmm, not sure. We already have a more-general Gorse Conflict article, but is a specific article on this attack really warranted? I don't know. ProfessorTofty (talk) 18:10, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
      • Well, I haven't read the book, so it's up to you. If you don't think it warrants an article, then pipelink "attacked" in the History to the conflict. 501st dogma(talk) 18:48, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
        • Alright. I don't think it's anything that really merits an article of its own and really can be explained in an expanded Gorse conflict article. Pipeline. ProfessorTofty (talk) 18:54, January 6, 2015 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • Could you add a timeframe in the intro? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
    • Done. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:52, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
      • Could you add it was poorly maintained during the reign of the Empire, or something similar. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:30, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
        • That's now done. I'm going to see about taking care of your other objections later today. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:39, January 21, 2015 (UTC)
  • The first two sentences of the description seem kind of repetitive, could you merge them into one more concise sentence? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
    • Sure. Does that look okay now? ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:52, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
      • You still effectively say that Clone Wars veterans got sent their twice in the same sentence. I'd include the context for the war immediately after you mention it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:30, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
  • There are two sentences in a row starting with it in the description. Could you change one to something else? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
  • "continued in the Galactic Empire" this should be into the reign of the Galactic Empire or something similar. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
  • Personal preference: here doesn't sound very encyclopedic to me for some reason, could you change it? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
  • Context on Vidian and why Skelly attacked him? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
  • Isn't there more detail that could be added to history from the section of the book where he enters the bomb shelter? I forget exactly what he's doing in there but it could be described. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
    • Sure. I've added more details on that. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:52, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
      • The extra detail on the shelter is good, but you need to mention when he actually returns to it and Hera finds him (if I'm remembering the details correctly). Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:30, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
  • Could you include when the book was released in the bts and the author. It isn't entirely clear it was later the same year at the moment. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)
    • Done. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:52, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
      • I think the first sentence of the bts now needs to be split. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:30, January 8, 2015 (UTC)
  • This page should be in a Gorse locations category. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:41, January 7, 2015 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Unaddressed objections over 2 weeks old. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:37, January 22, 2015 (UTC)
  2. ACvote IFYLOFD (Talk) 18:38, January 22, 2015 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:38, January 22, 2015 (UTC)