Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Champion (Bothan Assault Cruiser)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Champion (Bothan Assault Cruiser)

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 19:41, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: BOOM

(5 ACs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:01, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 02:04, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 22:01, April 23, 2014 (UTC)
  4. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:11, April 24, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 14:57, April 25, 2014 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:59, April 25, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • You missed a redirect, please fix it.
    • That's weird. It wasn't highlighted in yellow, and when I went to my preferences, I could not find the option to turn it back on. Did they remove that feature? (I fixed the redirect)
      • The gadgets have been going on and off lately. To get around this problem, you can create a User:501st dogma/Monobook.css page with — a.mw-redirect {color:darkorange} — on it.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:57, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • Context on the Yuuzhan Vong in the introduction.
    • There.
  • Just making sure, but can the 26 BBY date be sourced directly to the novel?
    • No. I've reffed the 26 ABY parts to the Reader's companion, as that states that the events of the novel occurred that year.
  • "and targeting things like the cruiser's drive nacelles" Could you make this a little more formal?
    • Better?
  • "damaged Champion enough that its drive blew." I am slightly confused as to what the Champion's drive is. Could you try to explain this more clearly?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:01, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure what they mean by drive, so I cant clarify further. I assume its the engines, but I'm not positive. Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 00:41, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • I find the way you refer to the ship like "the deflector shields of Champion" as a little strange. In at least one instance you say "the Champion," which is the way I normally see ship's mentioned. Is there a reason you don't have the "the" in front of the ship name? In any event, the article should be consistent.
    • I've looked through the article and cannot find any "the"s in front of Champ. I did it that way because Balancing Point never had a the in front, although TCSWE did in its entry.
  • Did the explosion kill any of the pilots?
    • Doesn't say
  • Is there any context on the Yuuzhan Vong capital ship?
    • Does that help?
  • I noticed that you sourced some information to Starships of the Galaxy (2001). Is there anything else that could be added to the article from that book?
    • In ship articles, if it doesn't give me the ship's specifics, I generally only give the length and the producer by citing to a different source. This is because the ship could have been modified, for example having two extra guns, a smaller more efficient crew, or so on. I do length and producer because they rarely change.
  • Are there any relevant quotes by Glie'oleg Kru for the article? You could add it to the commanders and crew section.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:57, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
    • Nope, no quotes for Kru. 501st dogma(talk) 17:40, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Lee's charge
  • Is there enough info for a commanders and crew section?
    • There - added.
  • Could you give context for the dovin basal?
    • Do you want context the context in the intro? Its currently contextified(?) in the body.
      • I took the liberty of adding the context myself and will support once you had a look at it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:24, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
        • Looks good- just changed gravitation to gravity. 501st dogma(talk) 13:51, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • To make matters worse, the deflector shields of Champion were yanked from it by the Yuuzhan Vong forces: How?
    • The book doesn't say.
  • If there is not enough for a C&C section, please mention that the admiral was killed (If he was, I don't trust his own article).
    • Added mention of his death in C&C.
  • Always nice to read a ship article. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:19, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 12:57, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • I'll look at the intro first:
  • Please, dogma, when you're referring to a starship, please say "The" before its name. It's more formal that way. The intro is taken care of, but please check the rest of the article.
    • Actually, BP never uses "the" in front of Champion, so that's why I chose to leave it out. If that's not a good reason, I can change it. (I've removed the "thes" for now, but I can re-add them)
      • After a discussion with Tope, I've gotten rid of them once more, as the canon source uses no "thes". 501st dogma(talk) 20:14, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Your usage of "cruiser" in the first two sentences of the intro is redundant—"A New Republic cruiser operational during the Yuuzhan Vong War" You can easily merge that it was operational in the first sentence. It's more proper to introduce it that way than to say its length first.
    • Tweaked it a bit.
  • " the cruiser flew cover for the refugee starships fleeing the doomed planet Kalarba as the Yuuzhan Vong species used a gravity-manipulating dovin basal to bring Kalarba's orbital Hosk Station crashing into the planet." I'm confused—do you mean they sought cover from the Vong? Double check your wording here.
    • The book specifically says that "Champ was flying cover for another refugee convoy." I assume it means that they were covering the retreat of the convoy. Is it okay to leave "flying cover", as the book uses it?
  • "the Champion was destroyed after its deflector shields were lost while it was battling enemy forces" To make it less passive, you could easily tweak the words around a bit by saying "As the Champion fought against enemy forces, it lost its deflector shields, exposing it to enemy fire." or something. Make it flow better.
    • "However, before Hosk Station impacted Kalarba, the Champion lost its deflector shields while it battled enemy forces." The dependent clause of this sentence has no relation to the second part of the sentence. Normally something relating to Kalarba would be mentioned here, but you awkwardly changed the sentence's focus from Kalarba to the Champion. Also what enemy forces? JangFett (Talk) 22:51, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • Done.
  • After you take care of that, look at the subsequent sentence:"The Bothan Assault Cruiser exploded, and the resulting detonation caught some New Republic starfighter pilots within the blast." In its current state, you mentioned that it was destroyed twice in two sentences. To avoid another case of redundancy, please correct the previous sentence (see the objection above). JangFett (Talk) 19:41, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above two objections in one tweak. Is it less passive now, or do you still want me to tweak the first sentence? Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 21:04, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • "and the resulting detonation caught some New Republic starfighter pilots within the blast." Where the pilots flying out in space? :P JangFett (Talk) 22:51, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Addressed. 501st dogma(talk) 20:14, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • There is a disconnect between Champion protecting the convoy while fighting the Vong and then saying the Vond had used a gravity-manipulating dovin basal. Does the novel say when they actually did this? The events preferably should go in chronological order. JangFett (Talk) 23:22, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Starfighter combat and space warfare need to be linked in the intro and body where appropriate.
    • There you go. Could not insert starfigher combat into the intro, but got them both into the body.
  • Is there a specific X-wing model that can be linked instead of X-wing starfighter? CC7567 (talk) 16:04, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • No, no model is given. The Jedi use XJs later in the book, but the model Jaina flies at Kalarba and subsequently loses is not identified. Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma(talk) 20:19, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • Sounds like an article for the specific "newly arrived Yuuzhan Vong capital ship that was slightly smaller than a [[Star Destroyer" is warranted. CC7567 (talk) 14:46, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
    • Pow. 501st dogma(talk) 20:18, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • Saying the Yuuzhan Vong ship "yanked" away the shields is pretty colloquial.
    • Book used yank, but I've changed it to "took". Better?
  • Could there be a quote for Commanders and crew? IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:47, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
    • No, Kru doesn't have any lines. 501st dogma(talk) 20:28, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • Are any of the Rogues killed in the explosion? If so, please try to split up the last history sentence. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 01:55, April 23, 2014 (UTC)
    • The book doesn't say, and the entry for the Champion doesn't elaborate on what happened to the pilots after they were caught in the blast. 501st dogma(talk) 20:58, April 23, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 15:59, April 25, 2014 (UTC)