Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Cad Bane/Legends

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Cad Bane

• Nominated by: CC7567 ^talk 20:07, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Yeah, I know that it'll have to be updated a lot when Season Two comes out, but for now I think it's doing pretty good.

(3 ACs/8 Users/11 Total)

Support

1. Great job. —Lucius malfoy7 ^{(Give it up for Lil' 'Soka Tano, ladies and gents!)} 20:35, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
2. As long as we remember to keep it updated when S2 is out ;-) — beeurd ^talk 20:42, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
3. He scares me. Kilson Likes PIE 18:16, 30 March 09 (UTC)
4. This will make a great "good article." Wonderful article. :) ZEM talk to me! 03:19, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
5. Yep, great job. ShaakTi1138 13:23, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
6. Its fine for a GA, you'll probably hear the call of an AC soon NaruHina ^Talk 02:45, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
7. Nice one. QuiGonJinn^{There's always a bigger fish.} 18:45, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
8. Cylka^-talk- 01:18, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
9. Good job. Too bad it'll need regular updating in a few months.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:59, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
10. About time to get this out of here, methinks. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 18:14, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
11. Stay on target, WookieeProject The Clone Wars. Don't let this one slip even an inch. Graestan^(Talk) 18:16, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Object

1. Naru needs a distraction
   • Dooku, Battle of Geonosis, the Clone Wars, Mustafar needs context in the intro
     • Hope that's sufficient. --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
       • The Clone Wars still needs context in the intro. I've also noticed that these four, as well as others to be listed later, need context in the body as well. NaruHina ^Talk 04:47, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
         • I put context for most of the items I noticed, except for the Clone Wars. I couldn't figure out what to put for it. If you could think of something, as well as identify the rest of the items needing context, that would be great. —CC7567 ^talk 04:59, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
           • Nevermind; I put up the context for the Clone Wars. If I missed anything, please let me know. —CC7567 ^talk 05:04, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
             • OK, here we go (All in the body): Galactic Republic, Battle of Geonosis, CIS, Coruscant, Senate Commandos, and Clone Troopers. They are in that order, happy hunting. NaruHina ^Talk 05:40, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
               • Thanks; I believe I got all of them. —CC7567 ^talk 06:34, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                 • I'll coninue the review tomorrow. NaruHina ^Talk 06:53, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                   • Context is not needed for every single thing that occurs. If you're going to explain every single term, it's just going to get ridiculous, until you end up with stuff like "...Republic, a political system in which the supreme power lies in a body of citizens who can elect people to represent them..." and "...Galaxy, a collection of stars, gas, and dust bound together by gravity..." Things like Clone Wars, Battle of Geonosis, Republic, and Confederacy are self-contextualizing because of their title. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 15:56, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                     • Context is needed for things that are not completely evident on their own which is why I did not have him contextify everything in the article. And those thing do need context because, for CW and the BoG, it is unclear what the battle was about or in this case all that is needed is whom it is between. For Galactic Republic, it is to context the government as the main government in the galaxy, not how the system is run. NaruHina ^Talk 18:42, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                       • If you can read "Bane was in operation during the Clone Wars, a galaxy-wide conflict between the Galactic Republic, the main government in the galaxy, [do we contextify galaxy here?] and the Confederacy of Independent Systems, the faction of planetary and sectorial governments seeking to leave the Republic" with a straight face, that's great, but only the first seven words of that are relevant to the subject. They do not need context because they are either a): self-contextualizing, b): completely irrelevant to Cad Bane and the article, or c): taken as a given that the reader already knows what it is (you'd hardly want us to contextify "the Force"). At this point in the article, all we need to need to know is that the Clone Wars is a conflict, and that the Republic and CIS are factions, all of which is established in their names, and anything else is not relevant to Bane. I've written many FAs/GAs and never been asked to so over contextualize. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 18:55, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                         • I already said the intro was fine when it comes to context. No, you don't have to contextify the factions when you are stating them as context for the Clone Wars, I never said that anyway, and of course Galaxy shouldn't be contextified—you know that, I know that, the Queen knows that. So fr your bullets:a)The Clone Wars is not self contextualizing, all that is known by reading it or any of the other things is that it is a war or a battle. As the conflict is current in Bane's life and important for him and every other person in the galaxy whixh is why it should simply contexted as "a conflict fought between the Republic and the CIS," that is all that is neccesary. Later, in the body, I say we should contextualize the Republic because as the main government in the galaxy and Bane is going against it for the credits, that is important. b)As I have said, these things are very relevant to Bane as he is going against the Republic. c)We write these articles so complete Star Wars n00bs can understand them. Of course you should context the Force, an article may get through without doing so, however, simply because it is taken as a givin. I've had to context George Lucas, for crying out loud. To restate, I said that the Clone Wars should be contexted as "These two factions were fighting" but later, when each of those factions appears alone, there should be a word about them such as "The main government in the galaxy" or "those who want to secede from the Republic." NaruHina ^Talk 19:50, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                         • I've already said my piece, and I think, aside from common sense, the fact that you will not find objections in the vein of this one anywhere else on this page, and the fact that I've written many FAs without going so overboard, should hint that this is not a reasonable objection. I guess it'd be nice if others would chime in. In the meantime, like I said below, I don't mind whatever CC7567 decides to do with it, but when I nominate this for FA those changes will not be included. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 21:30, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
                           • Fine, that is completely your descision and, as I don't even glance at the FAN unless asked, I won't stop you. But the fact is that all up this page there are requests for specific things to be contextified and I've been asked to context each of these things at least once in the past. Good luck with your FA attempt. NaruHina ^Talk 01:28, 1 April 2009 (UTC)
   • "Bane rose to be one of the best, and deadliest, hunters in his time." POVish
     • Addressed. --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
   • "Bane assembled a team of hunters to capture Senators of the Galactic Senate to force Supreme Chancellor Palpatine to free Hutt crime lord Ziro Desilijic Tiure, who had previously been arrested after he assisted Count Dooku in a Separatist plot to kidnap his nephew Jabba's son, Rotta, and turn Jabba against the Republic." A bit of a run-on, break it up.
     • Addressed. --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
   • The sections are a bit too subsectioned. The Raid on the Senate section, for example, probably does not need further sectioning.
     • Got it. (I think I subconsciously did that to try and get more quotes in.) --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
   • There are severe linking issues in this article, normally I'd qualify this as {{Sofixit}} but Coruscant, Hutt, Ziro, and other things are liked 3-5 times in the body. Each section after the intro should be considered as part of the body and everything in it is linked only once.
     • Addressed. --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
       • I went through and fixed ones you had missed. NaruHina ^Talk 04:47, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
   • There's my cursory glance, I'll look more after these are done. NaruHina ^Talk 23:51, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
     • Thanks. --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
2. Cylka:
   • Bane was born on the planet Duro before the Clone Wars. - That he was born before the Clone Wars is a given. I also think that you should fit this tidbit in a bit earlier in the introduction.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • In it for the credits, he would work for the highest bidder. - The language in this sentence is a bit too colloquial, and needs to be reworded and clarified.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Because fellow bounty hunter Jango Fett had been killed - You should add in why the death of Fett allowed Bane to rise to the top. Something along the lines of Fett was considered the best bounty hunter or somesuch.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • The second paragraph of the introduction needs to be rewritten a bit. First, you should mention Ziro's arrest and the surrounding details before talking about Bane gathering a team. Next, you need to add in why Bane would be concerned with this anyway. Then, you need to clarify that Rotta's kidnapping would lead Jabba to turn against the Republic.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Later working for Count Dooku, Bane stole a holocron with potential Force-sensitive infants and kidnapped the infants on the list. Bane brought them to the planet Mustafar, where Dooku's Sith Master, Darth Sidious, planned to use them for his own purposes. - This sentence needs to be rewritten a bit to clarify that the holocron held the information. Right now, it sounds as if the infants were in the holocron. Also, the use of pronouns makes it a bit unclear as to who is doing what. Please clarify this.
     • I think it sounds better now, but please check. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • caring little who employed him, as long as the credits kept flowing; - The language is too colloquial.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • The second paragraph of the Bounty hunter section should be reworked. First, the Clone Wars should be introduced, then Fett's death. Also, the Clone Wars have a bit too much context to them. Lastly, who thought that Bane was cruel and fearsome?
     • Addressed, and removed the "cruel" and "fearsome" part; too POV-oriented. However, it's stated here that Bane is "the galaxy's most fearsome bounty hunter, as ruthless as he is deadly." Would it be okay to say that Bane was the galaxy's most fearsome bounty hunter, or would it still be too POV-oriented? —CC7567 ^talk
   • Jabba would turn against the Republic and would be arrested - It needs to be clarified that Rotta's kidnapping would cause Jabba to turn against the Republic.
     • Addressed, and reworded paragraph. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Bane took his "posse" to raid the Galactic Senate in order to force-free Ziro the Hutt. - This sentence reads a bit strangely. I'm not sure that "raid" and "force-free" are the best words to use in this instance.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Sing fired a sniper rifle from a long-range post, and killed most of the guards.- This sentence gives the impression that Sing killed the guards with one shot. Please clarify as to what actually took place.
     • Reworded. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • When Gran Senator Philo objected - What was he objecting to?
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Senator Taa, who would be picked up by Bane's ship and deliver it to the prison. - Please clarify who or what is the "it" being delivered to the prison.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Taa reluctantly obeyed, and 3D took him in the airspeeder to the prison, and collected the Hutt - What happened to Taa afterward? Was he left at the prison?
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • clone troopers of the Coruscant Guard piled out and cornered the team. Palpatine contacted Bane, ordering him to stand down. - The wording is a bit too colloquial in this sentence.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Taking pity on the "horrors" Ziro had gone through while in prison, Bane remotely activated the explosives. Fortunately, Skywalker had recovered, and cut a hole in the floor, saving himself and the Senators. Bane demanded his pay from the Hutt, as he didn't work for free. - First, why would Bane take pity on Ziro? Second, "fortunately" is POV issue and needs to be removed. Third, what did Skywalker recover from? Finally, this whole paragraph needs to have the different statements connected to each other a bit more. They are all independent of each other, and don't flow together very well.
     • Addressed, and hopefully it flows better now. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Later during the Clone Wars, Bane was hired - The beginning of this sentence makes it sound as if Bane had not been active during the Clone Wars. Please rewrite this to reflect that Bane was hired during the later part of the Clone Wars.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • fighting them directly during the galaxy-wide conflict. - In what way did Bane fight the Republic directly?
     • Removed; I think that was actually related to the hostage crisis, and not his later work. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Bane was at the "top of his game" during the Clone Wars - Colloquial language issues. I'm bringing this up fairly often since we have many non-native English speakers who read Wookieepedia, and they may have trouble understanding.
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Bane had much less moral content than Fett - Do you have a source for this? If not, it is OR/Speculation and needs to be removed.
     • It was the source at the end of the sentence. Since it wasn't clear, should it be changed? —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • His breathing tubes were directly connected to his lungs, allowing him to hunt and do business freely in different types of atmospheres without additional protection - Why exactly did he have/need breathing tubes?
     • Addressed. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Bane will apparently be making more appearances in Season Two,[13] - You have this referenced to Youtube, however, Youtube is not considered a reliable reference. If you don't have a canon source for his appearance, then this statement needs to be removed.
     • Sorry; YouTube was the only source for the trailer at the time I added that. Since it's now up on StarWars.com, I've added the official site as the source. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Early versions of the character were based on Durge, - A little bit of context is needed for Durge.
     • Added. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • His model was made after sketches of a character from the original Star Wars films. - This could be expanded a bit more to include some details.
     • Addressed; I edited the paragraph to make it sound better. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Please take care of these objections, and I will take another look at the article. Cylka^-talk- 00:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
     • Thanks for the review. —CC7567 ^talk 02:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
3. Just a couple more things:
   • Skywalker, in the meantime, had recovered, and began to cut a hole in the floor around himself and the senators. - This needs to be explained a bit more. All that had been written about Skywalker earlier was that he destroyed the droid and was without his lightsaber.
     • Addressed. CC7567 ^(talk) 07:10, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
   • You may think about reducing the amount of context for Boba Fett. You are introducing the fact that there were clones of Jango without really explaining it. It may be enough to simply state that Boba was Jango's son.
     • Addressed. CC7567 ^(talk) 07:10, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
   • You also may want to rewrite the caption for the picture of Bane and Ziro since the "pity" isn't explained in the article, and it may leave the reader confused.
     • Reworded; let me know if it's still unclear. CC7567 ^(talk) 07:10, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
   • Other than that, great work in improving the article! Cylka^-talk- 03:31, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
     • Thanks very much for the second look. :) CC7567 ^(talk) 07:10, 29 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:16, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

• I was working on this until I copied what I'd done to a subpage, since so many people were editing the article and changing things, with the intention of going for FA. I still intend to keep going with it for FA, integrating what you've done, with probably a much more comprehensive P&T and BtS. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 20:47, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
  • That sounds fine to me. I'll be sure to support it once it's nominated. :) --CC7567 ^talk 01:36, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
• Some of the context that Naru's had you insert, CC7567, is in my opinion quite excessive and unnecessary. It's your call if you want to keep it or cut down or whatever, but I thought I'd note that I'll probably remove a lot of it in my version. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 16:09, 31 March 2009 (UTC)