Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Bushman Krentz

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Bushman Krentz

  • Nominated by: Kilson 00:55, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:One more for the meat grinder. A guest nom for Project:LE.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Nice. Reminds me of my Match teacher. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:39, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
  2. —Axinal Convocation Chamber 01:57, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:31, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:20, April 9, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:20, April 9, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Axinal
  • I think a hellip is more appropriate than ... in the quotes. Other than that, nice work.—Axinal Convocation Chamber 01:49, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
    • I've gone ahead and taken care of this. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 01:55, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the assistance, Trayus. Kilson 01:57, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • First sentence of the bio contains some info that doesn't belong outside the P&T.
    • Trimmed it down a little, how is it now?
  • "Although it was well known that it was dangerous to be out at night alone in Mos Eisley…" Well known to who? Everyone in the galaxy? Or just the locals?
    • Here's what the comic says, "The streets of Mos Eisley spaceport are not safe after dark, the alleys even less so." It doesn't say "who" thinks it's dangerous, just that it's dangerous.
      • That does not in any way say that that was "well known." Please remove the speculative wording. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:05, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
        • Fixed
  • I think you could cut out parts of the last paragraph of the bio. A bunch of it seems unnecessary.
  • "Bushman Krentz was considered a drunk and a dim-wit by many, and was often ridiculed by his peers because of this…" Technically, you're saying that he was ridiculed because of what others considered him to be, not because of what he actually was.
    • Fixed
  • "When intoxicated, Krentz shirked common sense and put himself in harm's way…" Do we have evidence that this happened frequently, or just this once?
    • The comic says, "Only a drunk or fool would enter one. Pilot Bushman Krentz is both." I think the comic implies here that when drunk, Krentz was a fool and would put himself in danger. I think we can keep this sentence, but I can get rid of it if you want.
      • Yeah, everything you've said is pretty much complete speculation—just because the comic lists him being a fool and a drunk as the reason for this one act doesn't in any way support that statment that he committed such acts frequently. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:05, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
        • I apologize for the interjection, but I'm also in the midst of reading through the article, and I didn't notice anything in the P&T that states he committed these acts frequently. Perhaps a rewording instead of complete removal would be better, so as to keep the note that when he was drunk on that occasion, he did something that defied common sense. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 01:12, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
          • No problem Trayus: my apologies for not being clearer. I'm not saying that you should remove this information altogether—this is the same exact situation as the below objection. This information just needs to be specified to the one instance to which it can be sourced; I'm objecting that it can't be made into a generalized statement saying that he did this frequently, because that is OR/speculation. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:15, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • "The pilot was also easily manipulated by females that he thought were attractive…" Again, what evidence do we have to make this general a statement? Do we just have this one instance to go on?
    • This one isn't supported by the comic, so I deleted it.
      • You shouldn't remove this; you just need to use the one actual example we have as opposed to trying to make a generalized statement about his personality. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:05, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
        • Re-added and reworded.
          • Be very, very careful of your grammar when making changes like this in the future. Frankly, the grammar here was terrible; I suspect you were just rushing to add the information and didn't double-check what you'd written. I fixed it this time, but note that in the future I will expect you to remember this. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:31, April 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • As a note, there were a bunch of tense/mood issues that I cleaned up. Please be careful of these in the future. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 02:35, April 5, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review Jon. Kilson 22:18, April 5, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:20, April 9, 2011 (UTC)