Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Bryen Rowne

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Bryen Rowne

Nominated by: Wok142 (talk) 18:20, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
Nomination comments:
Date Archived: 23:18, 10 July 2024 (UTC)
Final word count: 619 words (121 introduction, 462 body, 36 behind the scenes)
Word count at nomination time: 467 words (94 introduction, 331 body, 42 behind the scenes)
WookieeProject (optional): WP:Comics

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Assuming Lew's objections are addressed.—spookywilloww^talk 18:28, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
Lewisr (talk) 01:09, 25 June 2024 (UTC)
Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:58, 10 July 2024 (UTC)
Bonzane10 10:36, 10 July 2024 (UTC)
Booply (talk) 22:41, 10 July 2024 (UTC)

Object

spookly

Intro: Will be needing the dates in the intro (as per general standard but particularly because the character dies); to add to this, Coruscant system would need to be there as well, as the place of death.
~~Intro consistencies: Imperial Era intro-exclusive; GCW is used in the body. These should be made consistent, though as an aside, GCW would be better as it's more specific.~~
Context: Intro needs context for Lando, Chewbacca, and Millennium Falcon. Ideally, Millennium Falcon will also have some context in the Biography as well, presented in the same sentence, comparative to leaving it to the start of the next sentence. ("The ships…") as it is now. It would also be ideal to present the context for Coruscant being a planet ("Imperial capital planet Coruscant…) as such, comparative to introducing planet link to readers later on.
Other context things: ideally, upon the initial introduction of GCW, we usually state the factions it was between. That can come in many forms, but this applies to most conflicts (not just he GCW) in that you'll commonly see whenever the Clone Wars is mentioned, its said to be between the Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems. How that's worked in is up to you, but it'd make it read better to introduce that Rowne's (as part of the Alliance) fighting against the Empire before it's introduced decently later down.
~~PT: Ideally , "that was graying" would be accompanied by "by time of the pilot's death" or "by between [dates]" or some such to present it as a time-based trait.~~
- All above addressed. Wok142 (talk) 18:58, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
  - Coruscant system is still infobox-exclusive.—spookywilloww^talk 20:01, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
    - Oops. Added. Wok142 (talk) 23:04, 22 June 2024 (UTC)
~~Is the capitalization of Security checkpoint Delta-Three confirmed in the comic? If not I'd tend to say it'd be generally better to present that in its uncapitalized form.~~
- In the comic, security is at the start of the sentence so that is unconfirmed. I've changed it to be lowercase. Delta-Three is capitalized so I left that. Wok142 (talk) 18:58, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
Visually, it might be better to merge the first two sentences into one, and then merge that into the second paragraph. From there, it'd be fine as just two, or the the new first paragraph could be split at the sentence "Rowne questioned…"; the reasoning for this is, in the default view, the uneven lengths of the paragraphs isn't ideal.
- I think it would be rather long if I merged the sentences together. I merged the paragraphs as you said, but not the sentences. Wok142 (talk) 18:58, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
NPOV: "…daring attack run on…", "…had an incredible opportunity…" unless there's OOU ref books that use the terms daring and incredible, these two terms would be better off removed in these spots for NPOV unless the sentences are rephrased to be clearer about whose opinion it is; in contrast, the article's second usage of daring is fine, since it's presented as Organa's dialogue.
- Leia says “We have been presented with an incredible opportunity” so that language is directly from the comic. Secondly, she says “This mission will be difficult – but it is not impossible” so that was where I got daring from. To be safe, I've removed it from the intro and left the second usage alone per your reasoning. Wok142 (talk) 18:58, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
  - Just noting; yes, I'm aware she used that exact wording, but it's still her opinion. I'm fine with it remaining in the body as it's presented as such; but just cursorily pointing out that it being in the comic doesn't negate the NPOV aspect either way.—spookywilloww^talk 20:01, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
    - Got it, thanks for letting me know. Wok142 (talk) 23:04, 22 June 2024 (UTC)
BTS: Per the MOS and current precedent, the issue formatting for linking the issue itself is generally like the line here for the same issue, which links "thirty-sixth issue" rather than presenting the full comic title.—spookywilloww^talk 02:57, 15 June 2024 (UTC)
- Updated this. Thanks for all the effort on this review. Wok142 (talk) 18:58, 15 June 2024 (UTC)

Lew

I believe saying Rowne was selected to be part of the team isn't the case, and is more the case that Rowne volunteered (see Leia asking for volunteers, and later Freyta is surprised that Lando volunteered for the mission) Lewisr (talk) 22:51, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
~~That Palaptine and Vader were Sith Lords is not citable to the issue~~ Lewisr (talk) 22:51, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
~~I think the conversation between Leia and Lando after attacking the statue should be documented to some degree as it is relevant to Rowne~~ Lewisr (talk) 22:51, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
~~Similar to L'ulo L'ampar, that Rowne was considered one of the Alliance's elite pilots should be in a skills section~~ Lewisr (talk) 22:51, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
~~Per above also, that Rowne piloted an A-wing should be included in the equipment, and that his helmet featured the Rebel Alliance starbird.~~ Flak vest should also be included Lewisr (talk) 22:51, 21 June 2024 (UTC)
- Addressed all. Wok142 (talk) 23:04, 22 June 2024 (UTC)
  - I think more of Lando's part of the conversation should be included since he too was lamenting that they had lost "two good pilots for no reason" since he saw the mission as a failure Lewisr (talk) 20:08, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
    - How's that? Wok142 (talk) 21:57, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
      - That's better thanks, one last thing on this is that I think it'd be worth putting after 'that the mission had been accomplished' what the intent of the mission was (the statue) Lewisr (talk) 22:10, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
        Yea that's probably fair. Added. Wok142 (talk) 00:18, 24 June 2024 (UTC)
~~Could you find a way to include Coruscant system in the intro?~~ Lewisr (talk) 22:10, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
~~I think it'd better if you reworked the paragraphs in the biography into 3 equal-sized ones~~ Lewisr (talk) 22:10, 23 June 2024 (UTC)
- Slid that in and reformatted the Bio into 3 paras. Wok142 (talk) 00:18, 24 June 2024 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:18, 10 July 2024 (UTC)