Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Barcel

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Barcel

• Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 11:50, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

1. Tommy-Macaroni 17:58, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
2. Erebus(Talk) 18:13, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
3. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:16, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
4. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:30, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
5. MasterFredcerique 19:02, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

Object

TK-462

• Galactic Empire and Imperial Navy are intro exclusive. TK-462 (talk) 20:11, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
• Communications officer doesn't need to be capitalized in the intro. Technically speaking, this is a position and not a rank, so unless the book explicitly states that he is "Communications Officer Barcel," then it should be changed. TK-462 (talk) 20:11, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
• Conversely, "Imperial governor Everi Chalis" should have governor capitalized, as that is her title.
• "Shortly after the Battle of Hoth, Captain Tabor Seitaron, Verge's guest aboard the Herald, was tracking the former Imperial governor Everi Chalis, who was leading the Rebel Alliance's Sixty-First Mobile Infantry, better known as Twilight Company, in a campaign along the Rimma Trade Route." The above can probably be split into two separate sentences, or you could integrate the information into other parts of the bio. Currently you've got six commas in the sentence, and I think that could be cleaned up a bit. TK-462 (talk) 20:11, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • All addressed. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:25, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • Communications officer is still capitalized in the intro. TK-462 (talk) 20:37, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • The link is but I've overlapped it with a lower case version. Otherwise it links to the legends article. You changed the only other instance that I missed. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:54, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yep, we had that edit conflict, I had updated that. The page looks good! I'll wait to nominate until another user has gone over it, but you did a nice job here. TK-462 (talk) 21:01, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
• Your first paragraph in the biography still could use some polishing. For instance, the first sentence could be split to "Barcel was a human male who served as the communications officer in the Imperial Navy of the Galactic Empire in 22 BBY. He was stationed on the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Herald, the personal Star Destroyer of the Imperial Ruling Council member Prelate Verge by the year 3 ABY. It would increase the readability a little better, and improve the overall flow of the article. TK-462 (talk) 20:37, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Split the first sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:54, April 21, 2020 (UTC)

Tommy

• Duplicate links.
• Please remove that <!-- --> bit, if anyone changes it they should be reverted and told why they were wrong on their talk page.
• Context for Sixty-First Mobile Infantry in the intro. A casual reader may well assume that to be an Imperial group.
• Underlinking - Imperial officer, thief, transport, pilot
  • All addressed. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 17:56, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
• Do you think it would be appropriate to have a canon Duty officer page?
  • I don't think it's needed as I'd call it a general term to address the officers who were operating at the bridge at the time. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 17:56, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • Okay cool. Tommy-Macaroni 16:20, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
• "Barcel told him that it was codes that..." - this is grammatically incorrect, as "it" is singular yet "codes" is plural. This should either be "they were codes that" or "it was broadcasting codes that."
  • Fixed. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 17:56, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
• As he's a communications officer, would Category:Imperial Navy officers of the Galactic Empire‎ not be appropriate? Tommy-Macaroni 16:55, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Would communications officer be better as an additional category and not one to replace it? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 17:56, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'm not really sure what you're trying to say here. If you mean you want to create Category:Communications officers that's fine, but they wouldn't all be Imperial, so Category:Imperial Navy officers of the Galactic Empire‎ would still be needed to replace Category:Imperial Navy personnel of the Galactic Empire. Tommy-Macaroni 16:20, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah right, replaced. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 16:30, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
• The fact the shuttle is stolen is now intro exclusive. Tommy-Macaroni 16:20, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Fixed. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 16:30, May 19, 2020 (UTC)

Ecks Dee

• I think you need to do some heavy-handed trimming of the first and second biography paragraphs. Barcel is mentioned a grand two times combined in those paragraphs. 1358 ^(Talk) 19:36, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Given it as much trimming as I can see fit. I think that the rest is required to fill in the continuity. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 20:32, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • "Ultimately, Chalis set off twenty ion bombs inside her shuttle, causing a power surge in the Herald. Verge was then killed during a scuffle with the former governor and Seitaron had the Herald withdraw from Sullust so recover.[1]" This is not directly related to Barcel and can be trimmed. You could remove the entire second sentence and tack a "forcing its withdrawal from Sullust" to the end of the first sentence without losing anything critical. 1358 ^(Talk) 06:03, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Done. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 07:56, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • I think some further trimming could be done in the second paragraph. There is no reason why this article needs to mention the Thunderstrike at all, for example. All you need to say is that the Herald followed the squadron to Sullust. 1358 ^(Talk) 19:18, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
          • How does it look now? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 10:05, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

UberSoldat

• Barcel was "competent" and "overeager" from Seitaron's point of view in narration. I don't believe you can take this as unbiased information on his personality. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:04, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Should I say "according to Seitaron" or remove it altogether? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 18:08, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Yeah, something like "Barcel had a personality which Seitaron considered this and that." UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:09, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • How does this look? Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 18:14, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Good enough. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:16, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 19:02, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

• Didn't mean to un-slash that TK. It was because of an edit conflict and I proceeded anyway. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:55, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • No worries, I figured that's what happened haha. TK-462 (talk) 21:01, April 21, 2020 (UTC)