Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Ardon Crell

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Ardon Crell

  • Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 01:00, October 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Another Jabba's Palace extra

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:03, October 24, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 23:42, October 28, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Menkooroo (talk) 04:24, November 5, 2013 (UTC)
  4. 501st dogma(talk) 16:52, December 18, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:24, January 2, 2014 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:05, January 10, 2014 (UTC)

Object

El Jefe
  • I really don't like how you introduce Han and the Rebels in the intro. Han should be contextified as a Rebel prisoner the instant you give his name, instead of waiting until the end of the sentence—you then fail to give proper context to Luke and Chewie once they're introduced.
    • Changed both. Also felt it was already clear Luke and Chewie were two of the Rebels previously mentioned, but nonetheless context added to both.
  • You also need to do a better job giving Leia context in the body. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:24, October 24, 2013 (UTC)
4dot
  • The bulk of the P&T consists of information that should be elsewhere.
    • "Ardon Crell represented local 253 in interactions with Jabba the Hutt, and was responsible for collecting the protection money and paying it to the crime lord." is redundant and is a truncated version of what is stated in the bio.
    • "Like others in the Hutt's courtroom, Crell panicked when Organa threatened to destroy Jabba's palace with a thermal detonator." - Is absent from the bio and should be there instead.
    • "He also wore a red headband." - More suitable for Equipment than "Personality and traits".
  • Perhaps a screenshot from the film verifying his presence either at Organa's capture or on the Khetanna?.
    • Uploaded and then added a screenshot. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 23:27, October 28, 2013 (UTC)
  • That's all. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 23:05, October 28, 2013 (UTC)
Karnage of Crell
  • "several of Jabba's Rebel prisoner Han Solo's fellow Rebels" is quite the mouthful. Can you make that sentence flow better?
    • Changed.
  • The biography claims that Han is in the dungeons when Leia arrives, when in fact he's still mounted on Jabba's wall. The intro says something similar; both should be corrected.
    • I think I thought I read that text from the Rayc Ryjerd article, but upon looking again I see that only talked about Luke's arrival, after Solo was unfrozen and imprisoned.
  • I'm going to disagree with Fourdot about his panicking belonging in the bio rather than the P&T --- it seems to be the only thing we know at all about his personality. The P&T is pretty useless without it. I think it could stay in the bio, too, otherwise there'd be a pretty long Ardon-free block of text. Menkooroo (talk) 04:10, November 5, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:05, January 10, 2014 (UTC)