- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Apted Squelsh
- Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:09, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Small one (260 words) to find back in work
(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
- Oh, for the good old days again. When the Clone Wars actually had emotion, heart, and soul in the battles and characters.--Cal Jedi
(Personal Comm Channel) 15:02, November 3, 2011 (UTC) 
Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 23:19, November 7, 2011 (UTC)- Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:50, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 19:07, November 10, 2011 (UTC)- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 20:19, November 16, 2011 (UTC)
Object
Jujiggum
You say she called him to her office for new orders, but IIRC (and the Nate page itself agrees) she called him there for an "administrative review," which isn't quite the same thing.- Agreed and changed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
She never actually specifies that he's going to assist two "Jedi Knights"—she just says Jedi- Changed to "Jedi". Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
"…had said anything about the achievement of the clone troopers in training at the day before." Wording here is a little weird; I think you mean something like: "…had mentioned anything about the achievment of his unit during their recent training exercise." Also, you claim that she replied "that Baraka was satisfied with the efficiency of his troops", but that's not stated anywhere.- He said "well done" and I believe that was the highest compliment Baraka could give to a clone. Reworded the other part. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- The grammar/wording issue remains in the first part. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Should be better. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:08, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- The grammar/wording issue remains in the first part. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- He said "well done" and I believe that was the highest compliment Baraka could give to a clone. Reworded the other part. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
P&T needs to be expanded, and I know there are quotes available for it—I provided you with them :P- Damn. That's the problem if you have to ask others :P Quote added and a minor expansion, I try to look for more info that afternoon. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Regarding that little bit you've added so far—I honestly don't see how that's relevant to her personality. "…however not before the ARC trooper asked for it." Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, she did not tell it until he asked for it. It would be only normal to rely good news to the trooper. But if you do not agreed, I remove it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:08, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Then please reword it to emphasize the idea that she did not simply volunteer the information. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 13:52, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Reworded and added all info I could find. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:39, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- A bunch of that is completely irrelevant. You essentially repeat the same information twice, and this: "However Nate was not very familiar with Squelsh and the clone did not want to show his feelings in front of her." is Nate's personality, not hers… Also, the main points I was looking for are still missing (hint: look at the quotes you use in the article.) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 14:53, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Hope it is better now. Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:11, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- You still have repeat information, and the new addition is speculative and uses incorrect grammar (and is still not what I was looking for). I really shouldn't have to point this out any more blatantly, but please see the lead quote for the missing information. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:22, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- It's not funny for me too. Hope we finally get an arrangement. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:36, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Grammar here. Also, you're still missing the important part—if you specify exactly what it was about the achievment that made her happy, then it gives her happiness an actual meaning; it says something about her personality. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 15:23, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Hope it works, but if I say anything more - e.g. that she is happy that there are no casualties, because she cares for the clones - it would be speculation. Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:46, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Nothing further is necesssary; what you have now tells the reader something about her personality. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 22:14, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Hope it works, but if I say anything more - e.g. that she is happy that there are no casualties, because she cares for the clones - it would be speculation. Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:46, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Grammar here. Also, you're still missing the important part—if you specify exactly what it was about the achievment that made her happy, then it gives her happiness an actual meaning; it says something about her personality. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 15:23, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- It's not funny for me too. Hope we finally get an arrangement. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:36, November 6, 2011 (UTC)
- You still have repeat information, and the new addition is speculative and uses incorrect grammar (and is still not what I was looking for). I really shouldn't have to point this out any more blatantly, but please see the lead quote for the missing information. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:22, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Hope it is better now. Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:11, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- A bunch of that is completely irrelevant. You essentially repeat the same information twice, and this: "However Nate was not very familiar with Squelsh and the clone did not want to show his feelings in front of her." is Nate's personality, not hers… Also, the main points I was looking for are still missing (hint: look at the quotes you use in the article.) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 14:53, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Reworded and added all info I could find. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:39, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Then please reword it to emphasize the idea that she did not simply volunteer the information. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 13:52, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, she did not tell it until he asked for it. It would be only normal to rely good news to the trooper. But if you do not agreed, I remove it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:08, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Regarding that little bit you've added so far—I honestly don't see how that's relevant to her personality. "…however not before the ARC trooper asked for it." Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Damn. That's the problem if you have to ask others :P Quote added and a minor expansion, I try to look for more info that afternoon. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
I removed the bit where you said that "the Arc trooper left" because I felt it was unnecessary, but on second thought it might be better if you mention that she specifically dismissed him after their conversation.- Added. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Grammar here—with the wording you currently use, it's not clear whether it was Baraka or Squelsh who was dismissing the clone. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Fixed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:08, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Grammar here—with the wording you currently use, it's not clear whether it was Baraka or Squelsh who was dismissing the clone. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Added. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Alas, this brings upon me a reverie of an age long past, when Clone Wars-era sources were enjoyable and they didn't steamroll canon. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 20:51, November 2, 2011 (UTC)
- The good old times... Well you should see the titles of the German translations. They have nothing to do with the original title. Ah, thanks for the review. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:32, November 3, 2011 (UTC)
One more: I see that JangFett changed the links on unit to make them pipelink to squad; is that correct? I don't remember for sure, but I thought she was in command of more than just one squad…Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:14, November 3, 2011 (UTC)- I'll check this together with the P&T today. 10:08, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, it is only said that she is Nate's superior officer. Therefore it is good as it is. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:39, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- That is absolutely very much not good as is. The problem is: just because she's a superior officer of Nate's does not in any way remotely mean that she is the direct commander of his unit, much less his squad. If the book doesn't say exactly what kind of superior officer she is, then mentioning anything like what you have in the article is by definition Fanon/OR. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 14:53, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Removed that stuff. Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:11, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- That is absolutely very much not good as is. The problem is: just because she's a superior officer of Nate's does not in any way remotely mean that she is the direct commander of his unit, much less his squad. If the book doesn't say exactly what kind of superior officer she is, then mentioning anything like what you have in the article is by definition Fanon/OR. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 14:53, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Well, it is only said that she is Nate's superior officer. Therefore it is good as it is. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:39, November 5, 2011 (UTC)
- I'll check this together with the P&T today. 10:08, November 4, 2011 (UTC)
One last thing: can we really say that she was polite? Does the book say anything like that (eg regarding her tone or disposition)? I'm not really convinced with the quotes alone that she was particularly polite.Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 22:14, November 6, 2011 (UTC)- Well...she only asked for him sitting down, but otherwise there was nothing particular friendly, but also not unfriendly thinks like Admiral Baraka. But I agree with your conclusion and so I removed that stuff. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:00, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:19, November 16, 2011 (UTC)