Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Apatros/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Apatros

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:51, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Though I'd really like to see the colony redlink filled in. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:59, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 20:44, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
  4. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 19:40, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
  5. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 08:12, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
  6. MauserComlink 08:40, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Soresu
    • I'm not really sure "important" is neccessary in the intro.
    • However, below the planet's surface was a large amount of very valuable material—cortosis, a very rare fibrous substance that was often used for starship hulls and armor, which was mined in underground tunnels. Valuable is repetitive, and the sentence doesn't flow.
    • Apatros was inside the borders of the Galactic Republic, and eventually cortosis was discovered underneath the planet's surface. Doesn't flow very well.
    • Dessel joined the Sith army during the New Sith Wars, and after serving with distinction his Force-sensitivity was discovered, and he would become Darth Bane, one of the most important and influential Dark Lords of the Sith in galactic history. Doesn't flow well. Could you split it into two sentences?
  2. Toprawa:
    • As redundant as some elements will undoubtedly be, I'd still like to see a brief "Inhabitants" section. At the very least, it will contain information about "Human" miners exclusive to the infobox and you can make mention of the Neimoidian presence. And, please add Neimoidian(s) to the infobox as well. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:22, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. Mauser:
    • Intro: when you say that the planet was under the jurisdiction of the Republic and under the control of the Outer Rim Oreworks Company, you should specify that it was that way only around 1003 BBY.
      • Addressed.
    • Any quotes? I'm sure something could be found in the novel.
      • Not really. Surprising, I know, but there's no quotes relating to Apatros in PoD.
    • Not a strict objective, but still: kill the redlinks. I'm sure you have enough Apatros info in your head to create stubs for both of them.
      • Addressed.
    • Also made small fixes. Good job. MauserComlink 16:18, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
  4. The Grand Master
    • The first couple sentences of the History are a little choppy.
    • Please clarify why cortosis was so valuable. ...And that's it. Nice work. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 04:31, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
      • I apologize if I'm butting in here in Floyd's absence, but if I may, the first objection is a very easy {{Sofixit}}, for anyone, and certainly something you can change yourself to your satisfaction. And in regards to the second objection, the article explains clearly the importance of cortosis: "Below the planet's surface was a large amount of very valuable material—cortosis, a very rare fibrous substance that was often used for starship hulls and armor" Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:49, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
        • No problem. Thanks for the tip, Tope. And I honestly don't know what I was thinking with the second objection; I must have just missed the earlier info. Not to try and sound like I'm making excuses for myself, but I was very tired last night when I made the review, and wasn't thinking clearly. I'll make sure not to make that mistake again. Thanks again, and my apologies. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 19:40, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:24, 19 July 2009 (UTC)